Danse Russe
by totallymindless
Summary: When we are broken, our emotions wounded, sometimes all we need is just to feel another breathing.
1. Chapter 1

Danse Russe

Chapter 1

_Chase this ghost from me_

"Black," she said softly, pressing her body against the door as she pushed it closed. He didn't look up at her from his book as he read, leaning against his bedpost. She idly wondered if she should call him by his first name, considering what she came here to ask. "Black," she repeated, unable to bring herself to make this personal. She didn't want it to be personal.

Sirius' grey eyes flicked up from his book, their fathomless, dark depths staring, unblinkingly, as anxiety washed over her. "McKinnon" he replied tonelessly, gazing back down at his book, mindlessly flipping the page.

Swallowing down every last ounce of her pride, Marlene took a deep breath, shoving herself off the door. "Black." Her voice sounded rather breathless, so she stopped and swallowed, again. "Black, I want you to fuck me."

Haughtily raising his head, he dropped one leg off the edge of the bed, placing the open book in his lap. "Now, why would I want to fuck you?" he asked, one dark eyebrow rising in a perfect arch. She swallowed, again. To hell if she knew. At her blank expression he snorted, rolling his eyes, and turned back to his book. With a dismissive wave of his hand, he coolly said, "McKinnon, I have standards; standards that you don't meet."

Marlene forced down her scowl and her tears, biting her lip angrily. It wasn't as if he was the only option, he was just the closest. "I didn't ask if I met your fucking standards, Black. I said: I want to have sex," she bit out, hoping that she didn't sound as weak as she felt.

"Correction. You said: 'I want you to fuck me,' which is completely different. Yet, my answer remains the same. No." His gaze stayed resting on the pages of his book the entire time he spoke.

When the door didn't open, he sighed in exasperation and glanced up at her. He felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on him as her haunted image invaded his mind. There were heavy dark rings around her eyes, and the usually sparkling hazel orbs were strikingly hollow. Her wild dark hair was coaxed up into a ponytail, which hung limply down to her shoulders. She hadn't bothered to change out of the school uniform, though it was long past dinnertime, she had simply taken off her shoes and tie. It seemed as if all the things that made her little "Marley" McKinnon were missing.

She seemed to be trying to come up with some way to get out of the mess without damaging too much of her pride, but her mind was working at a much slower pace than normal. Sighing he snapped his book closed and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Why?" he asked blowing his dark hair out of his eyes.

Her hands twitched at her sides and she thought for a moment praying for the words that left her mouth to be anything, but the truth. "I'm horny, why else?" There was something arrogant about her tone, but for Sirius, the arrogance was drown out by an almost unnoticeable aching.

He stood up lazily stretching his long legs and strode over to her, his head tilting slightly as he gazed at her appraisingly. His fingers ran up into her hair as he cupped her cheek, lifting her chin and making her hold his gaze. "We play by my rules, McKinnon. You do as I say, and you get want you want. The moment, you stop listening; I am done." Marlene nodded simply. Who cared if she had to give him the power, the control? She just wanted to feel something so badly, and he could make her feel, this would make her feel. That's why she was there after all. That's why she wanted him; he was good at this.

As he took a step forward, she fell a step back, trying to stay out of his way. "No," he murmured demandingly dropping his hand to her waist and pulling her back. "I didn't say to move." Leaning over her he flicked the door locked, his body pressing against hers, holding her in place with one hand splayed across her back. Something inside her told her she should be scared, but something deeper told her that she was safe, so she didn't argue.

"Now," he said softly stepping away from her, resting his hands on her shoulders before sliding them down her arms and taking her hands, gently leading her farther into the room. "Stand here. Don't speak. Don't move."

She stood perfectly still, a sense of peace she hadn't felt in what seemed like an eternity washing over her as he took away all of her power, all of her control. Releasing her hands, Sirius placed himself directly in front of her, his chin hovering way over her head as he closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. He felt her anxiety ebb away the longer he stood there.

It was funny how that happened, every time. The moment he took control was the moment they relaxed. It was that way with girl he'd ever been with. "Good," he whispered against her skin before he stepped away. Marlene was tempted to follow him, to stay inside the warmth that surrounded him but she forced herself to remain in the space he had given her.

Holding her face in his hands, he searched her eyes looking for whatever it was that had shattered her. Everyone had been talking about it for weeks, her withdrawn appearance, her lack of enthusiasm, her listless smiles. He hadn't bothered to look before now. She would get over it soon enough, he had told himself. What it was exactly she was supposed to be getting over, he didn't know, but Marlene McKinnon wasn't the kind who needed someone. She handled everything on her own, always had.

Her eyes slowly moved to focus on the floor and he felt the nervous energy try to rise up in her again. He had to start moving or he would lose her.

His fingers trailed down from her cheeks caressing her neck and her eyes fell closed as she hummed at his touch. A smile tugged at his lips. He never thought he could enjoy any noise that left her lips, but he found himself a little fond of that one. He lowered his head and Marlene could feel his hot breath wash across her skin as he undid the buttons of her shirt. Her hand tried to find its way to his hair, but he caught it. Whispering, "No," against her palm he placed it back down at her side. Kneeling as he unbuttoned the last few buttons Sirius laid his head on her abdomen, exhaling purposefully against the soft flesh before placing a tiny kiss below her navel. Marlene's body tingled with warmth and she inhaled deeply to prevent a shiver.

Standing up again Sirius placed another tiny kiss on her shoulder as he removed her shirt tossing it into a chair near his bed. He laced his fingers with those of her left hand, bringing it up, his breath washing across her skin and kissed her elbow before placing her hand on his shoulder. Easily locating the zipper of her skirt he slipped it down, kneeling on the floor once more as he followed the fabric down with his hands and lips. He allowed her hand to remain resting on his shoulder as she stepped out of her skirt then he kissed the palm and returned it to its position at her side.

He kissed her hip nudging down the blue fabric of her panties to taste the skin. He traced a pattern of endless circles on her thigh before kissing the smooth skin and removing her stockings, teasing her with his touch the entire time. Standing he kissed her eyes closed and slipped the straps of her bra from her shoulders. Pressing his cheek to hers he whispered, "Tell me, if you want to stop," softly into her ear.

Marlene shook her head and a sob threaten to escape her lips. "Shush," he murmured, "shush, it's alright." Sirius held her for a moment just simply holding her, wondering if maybe he wasn't doing the right thing. Maybe whatever it was that was threatening to break her wouldn't be fixed by this, wouldn't be coaxed out of her by this.

When she settled again he caressed her cheek before stepping around her, letting his hand travel across her skin. Unhooking her bra, he laid his head on her shoulder, letting his breath wash across her spine. He slipped a finger under the waistband of her panties and smirked slightly as he trailed it along the edge as he moved to stand in front of her again. Marlene graced him with a small smile and he tugged them down off her hips letting him fall to the floor, before ending all contact between the two of them.

Uneasiness washed over her as she realized how very vulnerable she was. How very unbalanced this situation was. Sirius saw it and his smirk widened. Gazing at her through lowered lashes he shoved his hands into his pockets and slowly circled her. Marlene's fingers immediately went back to their nervous twitching and her breaths became irregular in anxiety. "You're fidgeting," he said coolly, crossing his arms and stopping in front of her. She quickly halted her movements and settled for biting her lip. "That's better," he cooed, removing the tie from her hair and letting it cascade down around her shoulders.

He circled her again before methodically undressing just to the left of her, just out of her sight leaving her there worry and fill with anxiety, yet again. When he came back into view he was unclothed and Marlene's breath hitched in her chest at his beauty. Though he was meters away, the sheer magnitude of his presence made her made her feel like a frightened little girl.

He stepped up in front of her until they were bare inches apart, his dark, fathomless eyes staring into her soul. Taking her hands, he placed one on his chest, and the other at the base of his neck. She shivered a little as he fisted her dark in his hands, and pulled her up on her toes as he crashed his lips down on hers. Her short nails dug into his chest as he kissed her ardently, and she responded on instinct alone, until he abruptly pulled back fixing her with a glare.

Her bottom lip quivered as she attempted to stand still, but her entire body seemed to be shaking. Everything that she was doing, disagreed so fiercely with who she was. Submissive, silent, and shaky; that wasn't Marlene McKinnon. She wasn't even putting up a fight she was just letting him dominate, letting him control her. Sirius watched the emotions flicker across her face through falsely glowering eyes. If she didn't give in, it will have all been for not. She wouldn't tell him a damn thing if she didn't give in.

"No," he bit out, as she started to take a step toward him. Her eyes flicked to his face and she fell back into her space chewing her lip. He masked a sigh of relief by praising her, "Good girl." He kissed her gently again before lifting her up.

Carefully, he draped her across his bed, the fiery passion of his kiss fading and he went back to teasing almost touches and barely there kisses. Sirius tilted her head back smoothing her hair out of her face as he lay down beside her, placing tiny kisses down the column of her throat. She raised a hand to touch him, but he caught it, raising it and its sibling above her head, nuzzling against her arm before murmuring, "Stay," in her ear. She did as instructed and he turned his attention to drawing shapeless figures on her skin until she lolled into a relaxed, even breathing cycle, her eyes falling closed.

He kissed her lips briefly, before placing one knee between her legs and hovering above her. He gently cupped her breasts, kneading the small firm mounds and she hummed again, rubbing her thigh against his leg. Taking a nipple into his mouth, he sucked heartily at it flicking his tongue across it as he drew it farther into his mouth. Marlene's hands fisted in the sheets and her quiet hum became more of a persistent whine for more as her legs moved of their own accord. He paid the other breast the same affections, slipping his hand between her legs. She whimpered, taking short shaking breaths as she forced herself to breathe. He rose up, brushing his lips across her ear, as he softly demanded, "Say please."

"Please," she choked out and he smirked against her skin. "Please," she said again and he kissed the side of her neck before giving her what she wanted.

She felt the desire to scream as her body tingled with bliss and ecstasy crashed over her in waves, but he fisted her hair in his hand, forcing her to arch her neck to its fullest extent, and growled, "No."

Biting her lip to remain silent, she let him do as he pleased; taking her places, she hadn't been before.

She lay under him, contented, stated, her hands still tied up in the sheet as he pulled out. She whimpered slightly at the loss and he kissed her forehead, murmuring, "Good girl."

Lying down beside her he picked up his wand from the beside table and muttered a cleaning charm, ridding them and his bedding of the sweet sweaty smell of their intimacy. He tugged a sheet over them, before propping his head up on his elbow and gazing down at her. "How long has it been since you slept, McKinnon?" It wasn't a question; it was a demand. Not even a subtle demand, like before. He had worked to gain her trust, her obedience and now, he expected an honest answer.

Her eyes fell closed as she whispered, "Three weeks. Three weeks since I've had at least two hours straight. Almost six for a full eight hours." _Fuck_, he mentally sighed, _no wonder she's such a mess. _

"Why aren't you sleeping?" His tone was the same, but if she would have opened her eyes she could have seen the concern marring his handsome face with ease.

"The baby," she choked out as two wet tears slipped down her cheeks. "I lost—" a sob broke through her words and he gently wiped away her tears in an act of true tenderness and affection. "I lost the baby," she whispered before lapsing into heartrending sobs. He pulled her to him, holding her closely, and rocking her slowly.

What baby? She was pregnant? No, she wasn't pregnant, but she had been. Shit, he didn't know what to do with this. "Hey, hey, shush," he hushed her, smoothing her hair.

"You're pregnant?" he asked as she clung to him.

"No, I killed him. The Bludger… and I killed my baby," she choked out between sobs, trembling in his arms.

Shaking his head fiercely he held her tighter. "No, Marley." God, what was he supposed to tell her? He never thought it could be something like this. "You didn't. It just happened. You couldn't help it."

She needed to be with someone who knew how to handle this. She needed to be with the father. Someone that shared the same bond. "The father?" he breathed, "who's the father."

"I don't know," she sobbed quietly.

"What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know? Were you sleeping with more than one person?" he asked, frowning.

Marlene ripped out of his arms. "I'm not a fucking whore. I just don't know," she cried trying to get away from him, but she couldn't seem to get off the bed. "I don't remember. I can't remember."

"You don't remember?" He grabbed her arm and pulled her back down onto the bed. "When did it happen then?" The moment the question left his mouth, it hit him.

Halloween.

She had been so off when she stumbled into the room. He had thought she was drunk. But Marlene didn't drink. Marlene never drank.

"D-did he…" he started to ask and she stopped struggling against him.

Tears ceased to fall from her eyes and her hands shook uncontrollably as she gazed at him. "I don't know. I just woke up and then I came back and I was pregnant. I don't remember what happened."

"Have you been to see Poppy?" he questioned softly.

"What do you suggest I tell her? I snuck out on Halloween, got so fucking plastered I blacked out, woke up pregnant. Oh, and by the way, I didn't realize I was pregnant until I was attacked by a fucking Bludger and miscarried?" she yelled, crying again. "Am I supposed to tell her that?"

"You don't drink, McKinnon," Sirius whispered, gently wiping away her tears.

"I smelled like whiskey," she cried faintly as he carefully wrapped his arms around her.

Something was wrong with the picture she painted and he doubted it was her fault.

He held her for what seemed like hours mulling over her almost cryptic explanation. When her sobs halted and her body seemed to have fallen limp in his arms he breathed a sigh of relief.

Sleep. Finally, sleep.

He was afraid to move in case she woke, but he didn't have a choice. He needed to speak with Remus. Moony always knew what to do.

The moment he laid her down on the pillows her eyes popped open and her breaths turn erratic. "Hey, shush, it's alright," he murmured softly, stroking her hair. "You can just sleep. It's okay to just sleep."

Her eyes flashed in fear at the thought and he kissed her forehead. "Moony has some Dreamless Sleep in his trunk. I'll get it for you, okay?"

"It doesn't work." Her voice was still crack with tears.

Swallowing hard he whispered, "Well, just take some so you can go back to sleep. I'll stay right here and wake you if you start to dream."

She didn't nod, but she didn't disagree either.

He made his way to Remus trunk pulling on his shirt and boxers on the way. After a few moments of shuffling around he found a bottle of the potion. He stopped by his wardrobe on his way back across the room and grabbed a pair of his pajamas.

"Here," he said softly, dropping the clothes beside her. "Let's get you in some pjs incase someone comes in." She sniffled and nodded, and he helped her into the much too large pajamas, buttoning the top when her shaking hands prevented her from managing the task on her own.

Pressing a goblet full of the deep purple potion in her shaking hand he kissed her head. "It's alright, I promise. I won't leave." When she still hesitated to drink the potion he brought his lips down to her neck. "Come on, love," he murmured huskily against her skin between light kisses. "It'll be okay. I'll take care of you. You've nothing to worry about." She tentatively brought the cup to her lips before choking down a sob and shoving it back into his hands.

"I can't," she muttered shakily, frantically trying to get away from him.

"Whoa, whoa, easy," he hushed her, placing his hands on her shoulders and gazing into her frightened eyes. "You're okay. You need to sleep, Marley. You have to sleep."

Her eyes flicked away from him and he said, softly, demandingly, "Marlene, drink this and go to sleep. Nothing is going to happen. I promise. You just have to sleep."

She sent him a hateful glare, but drank the potion anyway. As she tilted slightly her eyes falling closed he guided her down to the pillows. Shit, he didn't know what he was doing anymore.

--

"What the hell do you mean she miscarried? She wasn't pregnant!" Remus Lupin roared under his breath at his friend as not to wake the sleeping girl in the room fiercely running a hand through his hair.

Sirius paced past the window again. "I don't know, Remus. She was fucking raped, they wiped her mind, she was pregnant, and then…" his voice trailed off. "Holy shit, Avery did it on purpose. He sent the Bludger at her on purpose."

"What the fuck are you saying, Padfoot?"

"I am saying it was his kid. I am saying he found out and he sent that fucking Bludger at her on purpose." Anger rose up in him like a raging fire. "He fucking _raped her_, Moony. And then when she ended up pregnant he _murdered_ her child."

Remus stopped. He stopped everything. He stopped pacing. He stopped breathing. He stopped thinking. Little Marley. Little not a care in the world Marley. Who the hell would do something like that?

"Shit," his voice cracked as he turned to gaze at her curled up into a tiny ball tucked away under Sirius' sheets. Tucked away under Sirius-who-didn't-even-like-her's sheets. "What are we supposed to do? What are we going to do?"

"We're going to kill the fucking bastard, that's what we are going to do," Sirius growled storming across the room in a fit of rage. He noticed a change in the girl's breathing and immediately exchanged his enraged expression for a soft, comforting one. He sat on the bed beside her as she started to tremble mumbling incoherent words of distress.

"Marlene?" he murmured softly, "Marley, love, wake up." Gently stroking her cheek he coaxed her from sleep.

The moment her eyes open, she latched onto him, clinging to him with every ounce of strength she had. Sirius' grey eyes flicked up to Remus pleadingly, as he carefully pulled her trembling body into his lap, stroking her hair.

"You're okay, shush, you're okay," he told her softly as she lapsed into tears burying her face in his neck.

* * *

Endnotes:

1) The title of this story is thieved (yes, thieved) from a song off of Hurt's Vol. 1 CD. The chapter titles are lines from the song.

2) Oh, I opened with a sex scene, how fun is that? (No, this is not simply a smut fic, there is a plot. One that I am quite fond of actually.)

3) This has only been roughly edited by me. You've been warned.

4) Reviews are good. I like reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

Danse Russe

Chapter 2

_Then I come a day behind_

"McKinnon," Sirius whispered softly, gently shaking the sleeping girl's arm. Remus had somehow managed to keep James and Peter downstairs for the past six hours, but not even Moony could keep them down there all night. Sirius knew she needed more sleep, but she couldn't exactly stay in his bed. How was he going to explain that to James and Peter without telling them what he thought– what he _knew_ had happened?

"McKinnon," he whispered again and she rolled over clasping his hand to her as if it was a teddy bear, her forehead pressing against his chest. He sighed stroking her messily plaited hair.

He had spent a good ten minutes attempting to coax the wild locks into some semblance of the twisted braids he saw so many girls weave their hair into when the dark strands of hair kept tickling his nose as he tried to sleep along side her.

Exhaling slowly he rolled to his back and tugged his hand from her. Merlin, what was he doing looking after some _simpering_ little girl? Why the hell did he care what happened to her anyway? It wasn't as if he even _liked _her; he didn't even tolerate her most days. She was just another stupid girl who had gone and fucked herself over and needed someone else to pick up the pieces. He wasn't some damn "knight in shining armor." He wasn't going to take care of her.

All he had been doing was trying to worm whatever it was that had been bothering her from her lips and then he was going to toss the information to James, who would tell Lily, who would tell the gaggle of girls and then they would fix it.

But now, Merlin, he couldn't let the whole fucking school know. He shouldn't have even told Remus, but he needed someone to shove her off on. Then the stupid girl had gone and latched onto him. What was he supposed to do? Look at her and say, 'Oh no, McKinnon, I only fucked you so you'd spill. I don't really give a shit. Someone else has to deal with the information.'

She stirred beside him and he flicked his grey eyes to her as she sat up holding his gaze for less than a second. She looked so vulnerable: pale, tearstained, peaky. "I–" she started, but broke off.

"Thank you," she murmured weakly before slipping out of the bed. He watched her wordlessly as she went about collecting her clothes with trembling hands. She stepped into the bathroom to dress and he shoved himself to a sitting position.

'_Thank you_,' he repeated in his mind. Who the hell said something like that? '_Thank you_?' He had just well, taken advantage of her really. She was emotionally unstable, sleep deprived, and so fucking broken. He had just… _used her_, if he was to look at it on the most basic of levels. Of course, she had asked for it, but still that didn't make it right. Since when had Sirius Black ever done anything right?

Pushing himself out of bed he leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door. "McKinnon," he called softly and she gave a noise of acknowledgement. "Was it Avery?" he asked. She didn't respond, so he waited running his hand roughly over his face.

When she stepped out of the bathroom Marlene gave him a small wary smile and quickly made for the door.

"McKinnon," Sirius rather growled as she tried to leave without answering his question. Grabbing her arm as she attempted to ignore him again he repeated his question forcefully, "Was it Avery?"

Marlene glared at him. "It's my fault, Black. I am the one responsible," she hissed trying to tug her arm away, but he tightened his grasp.

"It's your fault he raped you?" he asked darkly, frowning at her.

"I chose to drink! I put myself in that position. No one but me holds the blame for that," she told him vehemently.

"He fucking _raped_ you," Sirius growled, his grip on her arm tightening again. "He violated you. How is that your fault?"

"How would you even know?" Marlene shouted. "I don't even know! Maybe I asked for it?" Her voice shook and she tried to pull away from him again. "I can't even remember who I was with, or where I was going. The last thing I remember from Halloween was sneaking out the front gates and that's it!"

Sirius released her arm his ire fading as the quivering words left her lips. "Merlin, McKinnon, have you ever _been_ drunk?"

Holding her bruised arm to her chest Marlene's hazel eyes shot to the floor and she slowly backed toward the door. Sirius held the door closed with one hand preventing her from leaving as she tugged at knob.

"Please," she begged weakly.

Sirius closed his eyes and shook his head before gazing steadily down at her. It was amazing the way she could appear to be a worthy adversary when she was yelling at him, and then switch to the reality that was her; a weak and frightened little girl, barely bigger than a doll.

"McKinnon," he said softly, "drunken blackouts don't work that way." She didn't turn around, but her hand fell to her side. Gently placing his hand on her shoulder he whispered, "McKinnon, you'd at least remember when you started drinking."

"It's my fault, Black. I placed myself in the position. I didn't think when I was late and then," she sobbed once almost soundlessly, "I went to that stupid Quidditch match, and I didn't pay attention, and I lost my child. It's my fault. I am capable of holding the responsibility for my actions. I am trying to do that. Please, let me go," she murmured to the door.

He let his hand slide down to her waist and nuzzled against her neck. She was so much more responsive to his touch. "Marley, it's not your fault, baby," he told her quietly between feather-light kisses.

Marlene cringed away from him a frown wedged between her brows as she turned and gazed up into the fathomless depths of his grey eyes. He was trying to tempt her into agreeing with him, into giving her independence to him again.

"Then whose fault is it? Who is responsible then, Black? If not me, then who? God? Fate? God doesn't exist, Black! There is no such thing as fate! We are all responsible for our own actions. Some of us are just too weak to own up to it and try shove it off on a fairy tale," she said resolutely.

"I'm not placing the blame on fate, McKinnon. I'm blaming the bastard who raped you, wiped your mind, and killed your child," he said fiercely, his anger flaming up again as she refused to see reality, but he caressed her cheek gently, letting his fingers linger on her skin trying to make her believe him with his touch.

She was weakening to him; she could feel it, the burning desire in her veins pulling her toward him, fogging her mind. He was doing it to her on purpose. She knew it.

Ducking under his arm she moved away from the door, choosing to stand near the foot of Remus' bed instead. Sirius turned and leaned up against the door not allowing her to bolt if that thought crossed her mind. She needed to deal with this, to except it, so he could get rid her without raging guilt eating away at him for all eternity.

"McKinnon," he attempted to keep his voice soft, "we both know this story you've convinced yourself into believing, is just that, a story. Now come on, let's figure out what really happened, so we can take care of it."

"We?" she retorted almost angrily. "We? Black, there is no 'we.' This is my problem and I am dealing with it. I have not created some _fantasy_ to hide in. You are the one who is fabricating some elaborate scheme that involves rape, murder, and planning. Do you honestly think Avery is bright enough to manage a memory charm?"

"No," Sirius said darkly, "I think he was a lucky bastard that you've never experienced the effects of alcohol, McKinnon. Anyone else would have realized a huge chuck of their memory was missing."

"Since when do you care anyway, Black?" she shouted. "You've never given a damn before now."

This was his opportunity, his escape. She didn't want his help; she wanted to continue to live in the dark. So be it. She didn't want him to care. He didn't want to care. It was the perfect situation. He shoved himself off the door, striding toward his bed, brushing passed her as he growled, "I don't."

Tucking the loose strands of wild dark hair behind her ears, Marlene took a deep calming breath. "Well, good," she said stubbornly.

As Sirius watched her smooth out the pleats of her skirt, he frowned. What the bloody hell was she doing there if she didn't want him to care? Once more, as she pulled the door open he slammed it closed, holding it shut with one hand above her head.

"Damn it, Black! Let me go," she screamed weakly.

"Why did you come here then? Why did you come to me if you didn't want me to care?" he demanded glaring down at her again.

Tugging at the door she said, "Because you _wouldn't_ care! I knew you wouldn't care. And you _weren't_ supposed to ask questions."

"If you didn't want me to know, then why did you tell me?" he said angrily.

"Like I had a choice! You!" Marlene shouted and turned to face him, abandoning her attempt at forcing the door open. "_You _took away that option. I don't know how the hell you did it, but you didn't give me a choice."

"I?" Sirius laughed scornfully. "I didn't give you a choice? Hell, McKinnon, you practically begged me to fuck you."

She cringed away from his derisive chuckles and the stinging truth of his words. "Which was completely out of my character, Black! You've done something to me," she said slowly backing away from him. She was becoming hysterical, irrational, paranoid, and she new it, but she just couldn't stop herself. "You've done something to me, I don't know what—"

Sirius scowled, snarling, "What the fuck are you suggesting?" as he shoved himself off the door following her as she backed herself against the wall.

"I-I-I," she stuttered and he lowered his head to stare directly into her eyes, his hands on the wall at either side of her shoulders pinning her there with his overbearing presence.

"That I forced you to have sex with me. Is that what you are saying, McKinnon?" he hissed. Marlene shook her head fiercely, biting her lower lip and tears spilling down her cheeks. He grabbed her arm, dragging her across the room. "Get out," he said dangerously slinging her toward the door.

"Black, I," she stammered, but he yanked the door open shoving her toward the exit.

"Out," he all but roared and Marlene scurried out the door. No sooner than she crossed the threshold the door slammed shut.

She stood still in shock for a moment before quickly ridding her cheeks of tears and smoothing out her skirt. Taking a deep breath she started down the stairs.

"Hey, Marley," James Potter greeted her with a confused frown as he saw her coming down the boy's dormitory staircase. She gave him a withering smile. "What were you—"

Remus Lupin saved her from the question. "Ah, Marley," he said, smiling concernedly. "Did you find the notes, alright?"

Her expression was blank for a moment, but suddenly she smiled. "Yeah. They were right were you said they were. Thanks again, Remus."

"No problem." He grinned nudging James to get him moving again. As he passed her he discreetly took her hand and gave it a small squeeze.

Marlene smiled weakly in gratitude before hurrying downstairs at back up to her own dormitory.

--

"It's her problem, Moony, she can deal with it," Sirius said casually over his treacle tart, late that night in the kitchens.

"She can—" Remus started confused before frowning. "What the hell happened to 'we're going to kill the fucking bastard'?"

Sirius shrugged giving off an air of indifference. "She doesn't want my help; she made that clear. And quite frankly, I don't care."

Biting down his anger at that false proclamation Remus gazed at his long time friend. "You don't _care_ that someone _raped_ her and then _murdered_ her child?"

Something like rage flashed through Sirius' grey eyes before he said carelessly, "What am I supposed to do, Remus? She doesn't want me to help. I don't want to help. It best just to forget it."

"She came to you. She came to you, Padfoot. Could you not see— could you not _feel_ the way she clung to you in there, the way she _needed_ you in there?" Remus jabbed a finger upwards toward the Gryffindor common room.

Gazing directly into Remus' pale green eyes Sirius said, "She came to me because she knew I wouldn't give a damn. She 'clung' to me because she was drugged and upset and I was closer than you."

Remus stood apparently having lost his appetite. "Sometimes, Padfoot, I wonder who made you so goddamn holy." Sirius didn't reply, he just took another bite of his treacle tart and watched Remus leave the kitchens.

--

"Prongs," Sirius said quietly as he watched James' eyes follow the redheaded beauty that was Lily Evans as she entered the Transfiguration classroom. Lily stopped and gave James a smile before taking her seat next to Mary MacDonald.

"Yeah?" James answered dazedly.

"Will you do me a favor?" Sirius asked.

"Of course, like you even have to ask," James replied lightly, ruffling his hair and flashing Lily a wink. Lily blew him a kiss in return and James grinned.

"Ask Lily to keep an eye on McKinnon," Sirius whispered as Professor McGonagall stepped into the room.

James frowned turning to look at him. "What? What for?"

Shaking his head Sirius flipped to the correct page in his Transfiguration book. "Just have her keep an eye on her."

"This has to do with the other night, doesn't it?" James queried almost resentfully. Sirius gave him a curt nod.

Sirius rarely kept secrets from him, but it was obvious that he wasn't going to share this one. "Alright, then," James agreed, flicking his eyes to the dark-haired Marlene McKinnon as she scribbled something down in her notes.

--

"What did you get for number twenty-six?" Marlene asked the freckled boy beside her peering over his arm and at his parchment. She bit her lip as she contemplated the spiky marks and figures on his page. "Never mind, you didn't get it right either."

"Oh," Benjy Fenwick laughed shoving her a bit. She smiled faintly and went back to problem number twenty-six. He stared at her concernedly for a moment, before placing his quill on the desk. "Marley, are you alright? You've been… off since Christmas."

Marlene shook her head. "I'm fine Ben, honest."

Their whispered conversation gained the attention of the other two sitting at the table in the library with them. "You are not, Marlene. You can tell us what the matter is, you know. We _are_ your friends," Emmeline Vance informed her, rolling her eyes.

"Nothing is wrong," Marlene assured them scratching out something on her parchment.

Benjy prodded her with a finger. "Come on, Marley, what's the matter?" he said teasingly.

"Nothing," she answered batting his hand away.

When he didn't manage to get a smile, a giggle, or a sarcastic retort Benjy frowned. Something was so wrong and had been for such a long time. "Marley, come on. What's going on?"

Marlene swallowed. "It's just… the attack in Bristol, okay? It was awful close to home," she lied hiding behind a curtain of dark hair.

Benjy wrapped an arm around her shoulders not noticing the way she flinched and kissed the crown of her head. "It's okay. Everyone's a bit scared right now. We just gotta keep livin', you know?"

Marlene nodded, gently pulling away from him.

"Hey," said Lily Evans brightly, striding up to their table. "Mind if I join you lot? My regular study group has ditched me for Quidditch on the wireless."

"Not at all, Lily," replied Marlene, pointing out a vacant seat beside Emmeline. "Sit by Em. She'll want to pick your brain for Charms knowledge."

"Sounds good," chirped Lily, sliding into the seat beside Emmeline. "You all working on something different or what?"

Dorcas Meadows answered this time. "Yeah. Em and I do Charms, Transfiguration, and Runes; Marlene and Benjy do Arithmancy, Herbology, and Defense; then we switch so we all aren't stuck on the same thing at once."

Lily nodded, smiling brightly and pulling out her Charms homework. "Right, so Charms it is then." She started her essay, discussing this or that with Dorcas and Emmeline, discreetly watching Marlene as she did. She didn't know exactly _why_ she was watching her; James had just asked her to.

Lily and Marlene had never really been friends, but they did talk on occasion and shared the same dormitory. Honestly, Lily didn't know too much about her, but that didn't stop her from noticing the change now that someone had pointed it out. There was definitely something different about the girl. Marlene was usually so bright, one of those people who could just light up a room with one cheery smile, who always had her foot in her mouth because she never thought before she spoke. Now though, she looked rather withdrawn, quiet, and just not herself.

Maybe it was just because she was studying. Lily had never studied with her before.

They had just switched subjects when James Potter entered the library along with his miscreant friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. "Lily, love!" James shouted, earning him a harsh '_shush_' from the librarian and a scowl from his girlfriend. "Sorry," he stage whispered. "I just had the most brilliant idea, couldn't wait to tell you." He perched on the empty desk near her and started to explain his 'brilliant idea'.

Marlene felt his presence long before his arrival was announced, the sickening feeling of dread mixed with an absurd feeling of safety. She felt so drawn to him, but so wary at the same time, like a loyal dog returning to its abusive owner. Sirius dropped into the empty chair beside her and she tensed her grip on her quill tightening until her knuckles turned white. Benjy noticed and slipped his free hand to her knee.

Oh, it made her ill. Why did he keep touching her?

She sat there for as long as she possibly could, stuck between the overwhelming concern from Benjy and the dominating presence of Sirius Black. Rubbing her eyes and yawning she began packing up her books and paper. "I think I am going to go have a bit of a nap. Didn't sleep much last night," she faked another yawn, "I'll see you at dinner later."

"You want me to walk you up?" asked Benjy as she stood.

"Nah." She smiled. "It's way out of your way. I'll be fine on my own." Tossing her bag over her shoulder she waved before disappearing out the doors.

Sirius tossed his hair out of his eyes leaning back on the two legs of his chair as he watched her go. _She shouldn't be alone_, he thought to himself.

But then, why did he care? If he didn't care, why did he tell James to have Lily look after her? Why was he bothered over the fact that she was walking up to the tower alone? Damn girl was screwing with his head.

Inwardly cursing himself he stood. "Well, I think I have filled my quota for library time this year. I'm off to do something unruly," he told the group, flashing them a smirk before slowly striding from the room.

Quickly catching sight of her just around the corner he called, "Hey, McKinnon." Her relaxed posture vanished as the sound of his voice flooded her ears. When she didn't stop Sirius frowned. "McKinnon, wait," he called after her, taking on a more commanding tone.

She stopped. '_Go. Go! Why hell are you just standing here?'_ Marlene's mind frantically yelled at her, but her feet stayed rooted to the spot.

As he strode up beside her, her feet finally gave in and started moving again. Sirius casually fell into time with the slow pace of her little girl sashay. That was the only way he could think to describe the way she walked. It was like the walk of a woman and a child at the same time.

They walked in a rather tense silence, though an outsider might have thought it companionable, for quite a distance before Sirius spoke. "You aren't a very good liar, you know. It was obvious you were trying to avoid me."

"Oh really," Marlene answered raising an eyebrow. "I'm glad it appeared that way as it wasn't you I was trying to get away from."

Sirius paused for half a beat. "Oh, not avoiding me? Then who, pray tell, are you running from?"

Shrugging, Marlene adjusted her bag on her shoulder, tossing her hair out of her face. "Not running per se, more like just putting some space between us for a while."

"Who?" Sirius asked impatiently.

"Benjy," Marlene replied, becoming annoyed with her messy hair that just so desperately wanted to hang in her face and twisting it up in a sloppy bun.

Sirius cringed as he watched her yank her hair up into a bun violently. Didn't she realize what she was doing to it?

"Fenwick? I thought you were fucking the little Hufflepuff pussy," he asked.

"Crude, Black," Marlene muttered.

"Well, aren't you?" he prodded. With a short shake of her head they turned the corner.

Sirius watched as she tensed again her hand involuntarily moving to hover over her abdomen before she clenched her fist and forced it back down by her side. _Great time to become protective, Marley, after the child is already dead_, Marlene mentally hissed at herself.

Glancing around for what caused the reaction Sirius found the ginger haired Conroy Avery and greasy Severus Snape leaning up against the wall, chattering in hushed tones. He discreetly edged closer to her letting his hand hover near the small of her back as if he was guiding her through the hall. "Well, you two sure have the whole school thinking that."

"Who cares what the whole school thinks?" Marlene asked slowly relaxing as he crowded her personal space, sending that absurd notion of safety through her again. Whatever he had done to her seemed to have had some sort of lingering effect.

Sirius shrugged. "Dunno. So, why are you 'putting some space' between you, then?"

"He keeps touching me," said Marlene faintly, cursing herself for answering.

Frowning, Sirius ran his hand through his hair. "Hasn't he always?"

"Exactly," Marlene replied.

"It's just never bothered you before," Sirius said in understanding. Marlene didn't respond, she just adjusted her bag again and shoved her hands into her pockets.

After a while she said softly, "I… apologize, for what I… insinuated, the other day," not looking up at him. Sirius gave a terse nod, but didn't comment. "I just… I haven't been myself lately."

He nodded again, before saying, "You need to go see Poppy. If you tell her not to ask questions, she won't. You can't go through something like that and not see a Healer. What if there is something wrong?"

Marlene shook her head. "There isn't. I saw a Muggle doctor over Christmas break. I'm fine."

"A Muggle doctor?" Sirius asked concernedly.

Laughing, Marlene tucked an errant curl behind her ear. "Yes, a Muggle doctor. And before you start acting all prejudiced on me, remember they kept Evans alive for the first eleven years of her life."

"Didn't mean to sound prejudice." Sirius shrugged. "Old habits die hard, I suppose."

"Yeah," Marlene murmured biting her lip. "We all have our prejudices anyway. Despite the fact that we like to think otherwise."

"You Miss McKinnon?" Sirius almost chuckled. "Prejudice against what?" Glancing down at the floor Marlene just shrugged.

Stopping and gazing up at him as they reached the staircase that led to Gryffindor Tower Marlene shook her head slowly. "What are you doing, Black?"

"Walking you back up to Gryffindor Tower," he answered with a cocky grin.

"You know what I mean," Marlene said softly.

He tucked the same errant curl behind her ear almost smiling at the way her eyes tried to flutter closed as his fingers grazed her skin. "We were on our way to having a decent conversation, you know."

"You've made me second guess myself," she murmured distractedly watching his hand slip into his pocket.

"I noticed," was his simple response as he turned and began climbing the stairs.

"That doesn't mean I believe you. I just… maybe I am wrong," she called hurrying to fall into step with him. He didn't respond.

When they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, Sirius muttered the password. As the portrait swung open he placed his hand on the frame and gestured for Marlene to enter.

"McKinnon," he said quietly, letting his free hand rest on her abdomen, "this, wasn't your fault. Whether you believe me or not, it doesn't change the fact that you aren't responsible for that." Her hazel eyes glossed over with tears and she inclined her head just a fraction before climbing through the portrait hole.

Sirius let the portrait fall closed and the Fat Lady smiled kindly at him. "Why Mr. Black, have we found a bit of compassion?"

* * *

Endnotes:

1) Reviewing is fun! You should try it.


	3. Chapter 3

Danse Russe 

Chapter 3

_Hold onto me_

"Hold 'em there" Marlene said lightly letting her hand fall away from the neck of an old battered guitar. The third year, George Davis, she was teaching smiled faintly at her and she grinned encouragingly. "Now strum," she told him and he strummed the stings a few times. Sirius Black rolled his eyes from across the room as he watched her.

"It doesn't sound right. I'm doing something wrong," George whined.

"You're doing just fine," Marlene replied in a placating tone.

"It sounds different when you do it," he said handing the guitar to her.

Marlene nodded. "Of course, it does. I strum differently than you. It's what makes it personal." She easily moved her fingers across the neck holding down the strings and brushed the thumb of her other hand across the strings a few times. "See," she said softly. "I have kind of an up, down, down, up, down, down, strum. Yours is more like this." She showed him "A down, up, down. It will sound different, but it doesn't mean you are doing wrong."

The young boy pouted for a moment and she hand the instrument to him. "Here, why don't you take this for a while. You can practice, get used to holding down the strings, and find a strum that you like. Then I'll teach you a song sometime next week."

"Really?" he asked.

"Really." She grinned. "Just take care of her, alright? She was my dad's." George nodded giving her a toothy smile before running off upstairs.

Sirius Black shook his head as he watched the boy trot off and stood up, nodding to James. He strode over and dropped into the now vacant seat beside Marlene. "Why do you waste your time?" he asked brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"It isn't a waste of time. He is a sweet kid; needs something to take his mind off everything for a while," Marlene answered shrugging and leaning back against the couch.

Opting to change the subject Sirius said, "I didn't know you played guitar."

"I suppose there is a lot you don't know about me, Black." Marlene pulled her hair up into a ponytail, tossing her red booted foot on the table in front of them. "After all, I am nothing more than a twittering jay with too many freckles and not enough ass."

Sirius released a derisive laugh. "Merlin McKinnon," he said through his chuckles, "I had no idea you cared about my opinion of you."

"I don't," she replied coolly, standing up. "I just don't understand why it is a waste of my time to pay a little boy who just lost both of his parents in a Death Eater attack some attention when it isn't a waste of yours to come over a make small talk with an unattractive twit." Pulling her loosely knitted yellow sweater back up onto her shoulders she shrugged. "Sometimes, I think Remus is right about you, Black. You are awful holy to be as fucked up as you are."

"You like to fuck with me. Don't you, McKinnon?" Sirius asked grabbing her arm and pulling her face level with his.

Marlene grinned and carefully tucked a bit of hair behind his ear. "It gives me a sense of normalcy," she told him lightly biting down her smirk as she watched uneasiness wash over him. "You're too easy to tease, Black," she whispered slipping out of his grasp and heading up the staircase.

"Nice to know you're back to your old self, McKinnon," he called as she trudged across the common room toward the girl's dormitory. Marlene turned a waved to him before shoving her hands in her pockets and disappearing up the staircase. He sighed heavily, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back against the cushions. It seemed he didn't have to worry about her after all.

--

"Merlin, that was hilarious," James Potter chuckled, leaning against Sirius' arm for support as they climbed through the portrait hole after a long night of marauding. "I wish we would have had a camera."

"Well, I'm glad we didn't," Peter sniffed mopping the water from his eyes. "Damn ghost. Who would have thought she'd have such a bad reaction?"

James broke out into another loud fit of laughter and Sirius clamped a hand over his lips. "Shut up, man. McKinnon's asleep." He gestured to the sleeping girl on the couch; open book on her chest, one hand hanging limply down toward the carpet, her eyes lightly closed with dark lashes brushing against heavily freckled cheeks.

Halting his laughter James glanced up at Sirius, tugging his hand down from his mouth. "Since when do you care?" he asked, smirking.

With a derisive frown Sirius said, "I don't."

"Cut the crap, Padfoot," Peter muttered. "You've been watching her for weeks now." Sirius glared at him and he fell into silence wiping his wet face with the sopping sleeve of his sweater.

"Oh, leave Padfoot alone," Remus said, grinning wryly. "If he doesn't want to tell us about his little thing for Marley he doesn't have to." As he patted Peter's back and shoved him toward the stairs, he shot Sirius a warning look. Sirius growled. Now his pride was taking damage because of the wretched little girl.

As Peter and Remus headed up the stairs James turned to Sirius. "Sorry, Padfoot, I shouldn't have said anything," James mumbled with an apologetic smile.

Sirius roughly ran a hand over his face his frown deepening. "She said she hadn't slept in three weeks and that was last month, who knows how long it has been now."

Crossing his arms and leaning against the wall James nodded slowly. "Lily is starting to ask questions. I can't keep telling her I don't know."

"I know." Sirius sighed. "It's just… it's not my secret to tell." His grey eyes flicked to the sleeping girl as she stirred and a flash of pain etched across his handsome features. "I don't know anything for sure, Prongs, but it wasn't pretty."

"You are doing the right thing, Padfoot," James replied softly. He placed his hand on Sirius' arm squeezing his shoulder encouragingly before quietly making his way up staircase.

Sirius slumped against the wall and exhaled slowly. James was always like that, a much better friend than Sirius felt he ever deserved. Telling him what he needed to hear without even saying the words, just a look, or a slap on the back and whatever happened to be eating away at the young man seemed to be just a little less troublesome.

Marlene whimpered in her sleep and Sirius shoved himself off the wall and strode over to her. He carefully removed her book from her weak grasp and marked the page placing it on the table. "Hey," he whispered tucking her hair behind her ears.

Her eyes fluttered open and she blinked several times to see him clearly. "Black?"

Smirking, Sirius sat on the coffee table in front of her. "What are you doing down here, McKinnon? Don't you have a bed upstairs?"

"Makeovers," she answered sleepily rolling over and curling around a pillow, her eyes already closed again. "They were trying to rip out my eyebrows." Gingerly, she raised a hand and traced her dark brows with a finger. "They don't look like caterpillars," she informed him weakly, the depths of sleep overtaking her once more.

Sirius chuckled. "No," he told her softly, "they don't look like caterpillars."

Smoothing down her hair he picked her up and she snuggled into his arms. "Come on, you can have my bed tonight. You'll be sore in the morning if you sleep on the couch."

"No," she mumbled, "I don't sleep long anyway. I'm okay here."

"Mm, alright," he said trudging up the staircase. She didn't even realize they had moved.

None of the boys in the room said a word as he tucked her into his bed and slipped into his pajamas. Transfiguring a candy wrapper into a squishy black sleeping bag he crawled inside and said superciliously, "It isn't safe for her to sleep down there alone."

James and Remus exchanged grins.

--

Sirius bolted upright suddenly awake for no apparent reason. His grey eyes searched the dark room almost frantically before landing on his empty bed. "Shit," he cursed crawling off the floor.

"McKinnon?" he called quietly at the bathroom door before cursing again. As he glanced around the room once more he noticed the window slightly ajar. Pulling it open he stuck his head outside into the rain to find Marlene McKinnon perched on the ledge on the building, drenched to the bone, staring out into the dark night sky.

"McKinnon, what are you doing out here?" he asked climbing out the window and up onto the ledge beside her.

She didn't turn to him, just held her steady gaze out across the rain-soaked grounds and into the dark gray sky. "Do you like the rain, Black?" she asked softly as he sat down beside her. Before he responded she sighed, closing her eyes. "I love the way it washes away your sins, cleansing your soul of everything you've done wrong, sending it swirling down into the depths of the earth."

"That from a girl who says God is just a fairy tale," Sirius said softly tucking a curl behind her ear.

It was funny how beautiful she looked to him right then. Marlene McKinnon had always been one of those girls who would never meet the standards of Sirius Black; no matter much make-up she applied, or what type of clothes she wore. She wasn't someone who could ever have been pretty in his eyes. Yet, there she was in a pair of baggy striped pajama bottoms, a tank top, soaking wet, and pale from the cold, and he couldn't think of any other way to describe her. Maybe a sad, lonely, aching beauty, but she was still beautiful all the same.

Pulling her knees up to her chest Marlene exhaled slowly. "My parents died when I was eight." Sirius stared at her, his dark brows wrinkled in confusion and his lips turned down in a frown, but he let her continue. "They were Muggles, it was a car accident. My eldest brother, Mark had just graduated from the Auror Academy. We, my parents and I, were coming home from this little bakery and this car hit ours." Marlene bit her lip her eyes tightly closed as if she was hiding from tears. "I was in the back seat and the other driver pulled me out, and then the car… it was on fire, and I couldn't see anything, just smell." She opened her eyes again "The whiskey on his breath," she whispered. "He was drunk and he hit us and they were gone." Tucking her hair behind her ears she smiled faintly at him. "Every time I try to drink that's what I see. Flames, twisted metal, and then that tree between their headstones."

Sirius didn't know what to say, so he just carefully wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I wasn't drunk," she sniffed struggling to keep the weight of that admission from drowning her.

"I know," he replied softly staring out into the trees, twirling a bit of her rain-soaked hair around his finger. "Have you spoken with someone, McKinnon? Someone besides me?"

Marlene chuckled almost sadly. "I didn't even want you to know."

"Right," Sirius breathed into her wet hair and he felt her tremble. "You're freezing, McKinnon. We should get you back in bed."

"I want my memory back," she told him letting him pull her closer, to protect her from the cold. "I don't like not knowing. How are you supposed to pick up the pieces and go on, if you don't what broke you in the first place?"

Sirius couldn't help but think maybe not knowing was for the best. Who knew what the bastards had done to her? As vile as rape was, it could have been worse. It probably was worse. It might actually be a good thing that she couldn't remember.

--

Sirius ran out of the Potions classroom alongside James chuckling and choking on smoke, Lily and Remus on their heels. "James, I can't believe you!" Lily was attempting to reprimand him through her laughter.

As they trudged up the stairs James threw an arm around her shoulders. "Aw, Lils, don't pretend like you didn't want out of there. Plus, we didn't do any real damage."

"No, I suppose you didn't," Lily begrudgingly agreed snuggling under his arm, her ire fading at the sight of his boyish grin.

"So, now that we have forty extra minutes of time, what are we going to do with it?" Remus asked, grinning. "How about raiding the kitchens? Food sounds good."

"Moony, we ate like two hours ago," Sirius said shaking his head.

"Yeah. Well, I'm hungry again. You forget I feed a blood-thirsty beast," Remus replied blowing his brown hair out of his eyes.

James laughed. "Your furry little problem only requires feeding once a month, Moony and that was two weeks ago. I say, we head outside and spy on the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team. They've got that new girl… Perkins, I think."

"Fine, let me starve," Remus whined melodramatically earning a giggle from Lily.

When they arrived on the first floor and turned for the Entrance Hall Sirius caught sight of someone huddled in an alcove. "McKinnon?" he mumbled as he caught sight of the bright red shoes. "Shit, it's McKinnon," he muttered quickly striding over to her.

Remus grabbed Lily's arm as she tried to rush forward. "No," he whispered. "Come on, we're spying on Hufflepuff."

"What? No." Lily glared at him. "We can leave her with _him_."

Shaking his head Remus glanced up at James, who took the hint and carefully wrapped his arm around Lily's waist. "Sirius knows a whole hell of a lot more than we do. Let him take care of it." She made to protest again, but James flashed a quieting glare and she shushed letting him led her down the hall.

"McKinnon," Sirius murmured quietly, kneeling down in front of the girl. Her hazel eyes flicked up to him fear clearly evident in the sparkling orbs. "McKinnon, are you okay?"

"He– and– you– and– I– and– and," she choked out incoherently trying not to sob. Sirius nodded slowly, picking up her book bag.

"I'm not a cat," she told him almost defiantly as she finally managed to string a sentence together.

A confused frown worked its way onto his face as he tossed the bag over his shoulder. "Well, of course you not, McKinnon," he replied, slightly amused.

He moved to tuck a bit of her hair behind her ear and she jumped out of the way releasing a terrified squeak. "Whoa, whoa, easy, McKinnon," he said calmly, holding up his hands in surrender. "What's going on?"

Big tears slid down her cheeks and she shook her head. "Please, don't touch me, please," she begged pushing herself back against the rough stone wall.

"Okay," he nodded, carefully standing up. "Okay. Listen, we need to get you upstairs, all right? People are going to be leaving class soon. You don't want to be here when that happens."

Her breaths were frighteningly short, her eyes wide with fear and her entire body trembling as he stood, his hands held away from her awaiting a response. "McKinnon? Can you hear me? We need to get you out of the hall."

When she didn't move he held out his hand to her. "Come on, McKinnon, let's get out of here."

She sat there, gazing at him with terrified eyes and he decided whatever damage picking her up would do was going to be less than her being found petrified with fear in the hallway. "Fuck," Sirius cursed bending down and scooping her up.

Marlene's scream was lost on her lips as she collapsed into unconsciousness.

Sirius ignored the fact that she had gone limp in his arms and carried her up to Gryffindor Tower. He placed her in his bed and paced the room for a moment before digging in Remus' trunk and pulling out a bottle of calming draught and dreamless sleep. Filling a glass with the calming draught, he sat down on the bed beside her, pointing his wand at her temple. "Rennverate," he whispered stroking her hair as he watched her frantic eyes open again.

"Marlene, I want you to drink this, okay?" She shied away from him and he forced his hand down to his side. "Before you do anything else. I want you to just sit up and drink this." He held the cup of swirling liquid out to her.

"It's okay, you can trust me, alright," he said softly, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible.

Marlene took the glass into her shaking hands and sipped at the potion. "I'm so—"

"Hey," Sirius interrupted her, "all of it, okay? Then we'll talk. You don't want to faint again." She nodded slightly, and gulped down the rest of the drink. Her breathing relaxed and her eyes returned to normal as Sirius slipped the glass out of her hands and placed it on his beside table. "Now, what happened?"

"I– I– I," Marlene stuttered and Sirius shushed her soothingly, fighting to keep his hands away from her.

"Hey, just slow okay. We've got all the time in the world up here, you and I. So, just go slow." He so desperately wanted to touch her, to comfort her, but he didn't know how. So, he settled for keeping his voice calm and relaxed, and his face impassive.

"I was in Ancient Runes," Marlene stated calmly after a moment. "Professor Babbling asked me to take Professor Darling a note and…" Her words died on her lips and she struggled for air as the memory filled her mind.

Sirius placed his hands on her shoulders and gazed into her eyes. "Marlene, you have to breathe, okay?" Spots appeared before her eyes dancing across his handsome features as he spoke to her. "Marlene, you will pass out if you don't breathe. Come on, Marley, deep breaths. In and out," he told her, breathing deeply himself as if to show her how.

Finally, she inhaled a gulp of air and dropped her head on his shoulder crying softly. "Shush, love. It's okay," whispered Sirius, rubbing slow smooth circles across her back.

"Merlin, McKinnon, what's happened?" he wondered quietly as she continued to cry.

After she had settled down again he gently sat her up and wiped away her tears. She seemed rather empty, just staring blankly at him as he gazed into her eyes. He had probably given her too much of the calming draught, but it was better to have over done it, that to have not given her enough. "Alright, love." He smiled faintly wiping away another tear with his thumb. "Here's what we're going to do: I'm going to go over there." He tilted his head in the direction of James' bed. "And I am going to get James' Pensieve and then you're going to put what's bothering you in there and then you're going to go to sleep, okay?" She nodded weakly and he stood up smoothing down her hair.

Sirius carefully removed the small stone basin out of James' trunk glancing over at the petrified girl in his bed. He was going to make them pay whoever had done that to her, they were going to die and it wasn't going to be merciful.

Setting the basin on his bedside table he filled the glass with the Dreamless Sleep before turning back to Marlene, who was watching him blankly. "Okay, Marley." He placed his wand to her temple. "I want you to think about today, when Professor Babbling asked you to go to the Defense classroom. Okay, you thinking about that?" She bobbed her head. "Alright, now fast-forward through to where I found you in the hall."

He watched her close her eyes and the emotion flicker across her face before they slowly opened again. As he removed his wand from her head a silvery wisp of memory trailed after it and he placed it in the stone basin watching it mingle with the sublime silver substance inside.

"Now I want you to remember Halloween, okay? Can you do that?" A sickening feeling crashed over him as she nodded frightfully and he placed his wand back at her temple. "Think about the front gates then. Just the gates, okay?" Her eyes closed again and he could almost feel the fear radiating off her. "Okay. Now skip over everything until you see those gates again, alright?"

After she did as she was told, she blinked at him and he smiled softly. "Good, very good," he murmured, kissing her head and placing the memory in the basin.

Picking up the glass of dreamless sleep he stroked her hair. "Just half, okay? If you wake you can drink the other half. I just… I think you've had a bit too much of the calming draught."

Marlene took a long drink from the glass before looking up at him. "I didn't want to. I wouldn't have ever," she whispered to him softly and he nodded.

"Of course not, I know that," he told her tipping the glass toward her lips again.

She gazed up at him with big fearful eyes. "Don't leave me alone?"

Kissing her head he took the glass from her. "No, I'll be right here. The whole time. Right here." He slipped off her shoes tossing the bright red boots on the floor and tucked her under his blankets before turning to the Pensieve. Shit, he didn't want to see this.

* * *

Endnotes:

1) Don't hate me because she can play the guitar. He isn't going to fall in love with her singing voice or be enraptured with melodies. She simply plays the instrument because her father did. It's something that reminds her off him.

2) I know, McKinnon seems like a real whiner right now, but she does go out of it. She's gone through a lot, give her some time.

3) Yeah, James has a Pensieve. He's cool like that.

4) Review because I'm not going to stop asking.


	4. Chapter 4

Danse Russe

Chapter 4

_Into my head is out of my mind_

Sirius Black stood beside his bed staring down at the girl tucked under the red and gold sheets. Closing his eyes and inhaling deeply he leaned over and brushed a dark curl out of her face allowing his fingers to linger on her freckled cheek. Merlin, he didn't know what to think of her anymore.

It had been less than a month ago that Marlene McKinnon had been so easy to define; so easy to place in the boxes of his mind, stick a label on her and store her away with all the other unimportant nobodies in his life. Now though, it wasn't like that; he couldn't _do_ that. She had gone from that annoying little girl who was always twittering on about something or another in the common room, to a quiet, confusing, depressed shadow of herself, to this broken shell of a girl, who was trying so damn hard to pretend she was whole.

Sighing he tugged her blankets up a little higher, tucking them under her chin and smoothed her hair one more time before turning his attention to the stone basin on the bedside table. He picked it up and gently placed it on the floor before sitting cross-legged beside it. Swirling the contents with the tip of his wand he watched her face ripple across the silver surface before he plunged inside.

Marlene was standing awkwardly; one foot in the air, bent slightly at the knee, her arms above her head kinked in odd directions. "Come on, it's really easy, I can't stand like this forever, you know?" she complained laughingly as a group of students in the Ancient Runes classroom stared at her. Several of the students in the front of the room were glaring or rolling their eyes, but those surrounding her had puzzled looks about their faces along with cheery smiles.

Sirius couldn't prevent the grin that pulled at the corners of his lips. This was the Marlene McKinnon he remembered from the past: all smiles, obnoxiously loud and not giving a damn about the opinions of those who judged her. Despite the fact that those very qualities that made him dislike her before he found himself very endeared to the girl in the memory playing before his eyes.

"Marley, are you sure that it is a logogram?" Dorcas Meadows asked her eyes squinting in a frown. "You don't look like one to me."

Unable to hold the position any longer Marlene dropped to the floor in a heap. "It is a logogram, I was 'and,'" she informed them rolling her eyes.

"You so did not look like 'and,'" Benjy Fenwick laughed throwing his book at her.

"I did too," she whined climbing up off the floor. "Alright, somebody else try."

"Actually, Ms. McKinnon," the short, squat Professor Babbling called from the front of the room. "I need you to run Professor Darling a message for me."

"Alright," Marlene replied grabbing her book bag and stuffing her book and notes inside before skipping up to the professor. "Do I just go to Herbology early, then?" she asked and the squat witch nodded. Sirius had no doubts that had been the professor's intention from the beginning because as Marlene left the room her playmates lost interest in the game and returned to studying silently.

Sirius walked through the solid oak door as if he were nothing more than air and trotted off after Marlene as she tottered down the hall. As she turned the corner Marlene cringed and shivered in cold. "Mr. Peeves, must you do that?" she laughed and the ghost chuckled bobbing over her head.

"Oh, yes, Missy Miss Kinnon, Peevesie must," he informed her turning upside down and bobbing about above her head as she made her way down the corridor.

"You gots anything for Mr. Peeves?" he asked, his translucent eyebrows high on he forehead.

Marlene smiled and Sirius frowned confusedly. _Peeves is… nice to her?_ "Well, Mr. Peeves, what have you got for me?"

"Aye, Missy Miss, you is a cunning one, you know? Always wanting something." He crossed his arms and pouted a bit.

"Yes. Well, if I just gave you what you wanted without asking for something in return, we wouldn't have an equal partnership, Mr. Peeves and I don't want our relationship to be unbalanced. You'd take advantage of me," Marlene explained shrugging and digging in her bag.

"Damn you," he cursed her and Marlene chuckled. Sighing dejectedly Peeves removed his hat and pulled out several bits of parchment. "Stationary from McGonagall, Slughorn, Babbling, and Darling," he told her as he held the scraps of paper just above her reach.

"No Sprout?" Marlene asked frowning.

Peeves glared at her. "Little girl, Peevesie has told you: I do not go into the greenhouses!"

"Well." Marlene shook her head sighing dramatically. "She has an office, you know?"

"Do you want them or not?" Peeves huffed.

Grinning, Marlene held out a large box of Dooble's Best Blowing Gum above her head. "Of course," she said as he quickly took the gum and shoved the stationary into her hand. "I don't know why you don't just steal the stuff Peeves. There are plenty of innocent little first years that leave it about."

Peeves cringed wrinkling his nose. "They put their grubby ickle hands all over it, shove it in their pockets. Peevesie doesn't want their germs."

"You're dead, Peeves," Marlene laughed.

"Missy Miss understands so little to be so bright," Peeves said sadly, popping a piece of gum in his mouth.

"'Til next time." He bowed to her before disappearing through the ceiling.

Sirius stared at Marlene in shock as she stuffed the parchment in her book bag. _Allies with Peeves. I haven't even managed that_.

He continued to follow her down the many staircases to the first floor and through the winding corridors until they reached the Defense classroom. Marlene pressed her ear against the door listening for sounds of students inside. Satisfied with whatever she discovered she pulled back and removed her wand from behind her ear, whispering a charm and drawing a complicated hieroglyph across her front. Sirius frowned as a blue aura surrounded her, crisscrossing in the shape of dozens of little shields before evaporating into nothing. He had never seen a shield charm like that before.

Shoving the door open Marlene stepped inside and a bright green hex bounced off her and flew through Sirius. "Ms. McKinnon!" Professor Darling shouted shuffling through the room of flying curses and hexes. "Perfected that shield charm then?" he asked as another curse bounced off her.

Marlene nodded. "Yeah, still drains me to keep it up for long, though. I'm sure that isn't supposed to happen," she yelled over the breaking of glass as the students in the room waged their own war. "It doesn't really matter though, the institute only requires it to work for three minutes, and it'll hold for ten before I collapse."

"Oh," Darling said shocked, "you are well on your way then."

"Hopefully," Marlene said shrugging. "Wish I wouldn't have dropped Potions. Andre mentioned something about the extra NEWT really helping him out."

"They would be stupid not to take you, Ms. McKinnon. Even if you are as dismal at potion making as I have heard," the professor told her shielding himself as a hex flew his way.

"Thanks, Professor." Marlene grinned widely.

"And, what are you here for exactly?"

"Oh, Professor Babbling sent me with this," she informed him holding out the parchment and ducking as another curse flew at her.

"Ah, good, good. About that Rodolfo boy, I am sure," replied the balding professor, wiping his hands on his robes before taking the scroll from her. "See you after lunch then, Ms. McKinnon," he said patting her on the back.

Marlene grinned and turned for the door, but as she reached for the knob a curse blasted the frame showering her in slivers of wood. "Ah, best use the other door," Darling hollered.

Nodding, Marlene edged close to the wall and scurried across the room, weaving in and out of the way of students and curses while Sirius followed her, simply breezing through the various obstacles in his way. As they neared the door, the ginger haired Conroy Avery stepped in front of Marlene. "Oh," she exclaimed as she almost ran into him. "Pardon me," she mumbled, trying to edge around him.

"Hey, kitty-cat, how are you?" He smirked trying to cup her cheek.

Marlene's brows wrinkled into a frown and she jerked away from him. "I wasn't aware that I resembled a cat," she muttered sarcastically, pushing past him.

He grabbed her arm, shoving her against the wall, nuzzling against her neck. "Get off," Marlene whispered darkly, jabbing her wand under his chin.

"Aw, the little kitty doesn't want to play anymore," cooed Avery, worming his hand under her shirt. "But you played so well before, little kitty."

Suddenly bright burn marks erupted across the skin of Avery's neck, spreading out from the tip of Marlene's wand and he released her as the burning pain overwhelmed him.

"You little bitch," he hissed, stepping away from her.

"Stay the fuck away from me, Avery," Marlene said dangerously her eyes flashing in rage before whipping out of the room.

Sirius waited a moment watching Avery attempt to stop the burns from spreading further before he followed her out. He found her leaning up against the wall tears pooling in her eyes as she gripped her head in her hands. "Fuck," she whimpered. "Not now. I can't. Not now."

"Shit, Marlene," Sirius murmured, moving to stand in front of her. He tried to touch her, to comfort her in some small way, but he couldn't, this had already happened, he wasn't there.

"I knew the fucking bastard wasn't talented enough to erase a memory correctly. I should have been watching out for this," Sirius muttered, cursing himself as if it was his fault her memories came flooding back to her so suddenly. He watched fear, guilt, humiliation, and anger roll over her as the memories played in her mind silently.

Slowly she slid down the wall and pulled her knees to her chest, gulping for air as she tried to stop her tears. "You're okay, Marlene," she muttered to herself. "It's over and you're fine. You're just fine."

As she attempted to console herself Sirius just stood there staring blankly. There was nothing he could do.

After a long while Marlene stood on shaking legs and started down the hall heading down to the ground floor and the Great Hall. Sirius walked along side her watching her wipe away tears with shaking hands. "Fuck," he cursed aloud as he realized she was just going to carry on with her day, just pick herself up and go to her next class. "McKinnon? Are you dense?" he asked, but she didn't even notice him.

They traveled down the corridor and as they came across the entrance to the dungeons a loud bang from the Potions classroom echoed through the hall and Marlene froze. Sirius cursed James as her eyes went wide with panic and she frantically scanned the hall. It was as if the noise cracked what little sense of strength and reality she had left and she fell completely to bits, into memories of the past.

The sound of screams and laughter carried up into the hall and she bolted. Sirius took off after her as her footsteps pounded on the stone tile. He caught up to her as she huddled up in the small alcove near the Entrance Hall. "Please, don't let them find me. Please, I can't. It hurts. Oh God, it hurts," she murmured frantically, her entire being trembling.

"McKinnon?" Sirius heard himself mutter before the sound of his hurried footsteps filled his ears.

"No. No. No. Please. I don't want to. Please," Marlene begged pressing herself up against the wall and Sirius watched himself kneel down beside her.

"McKinnon?" he asked and Marlene's eyes seemed to click into focus.

"McKinnon, are you okay?"

As she started to ramble incoherently the memory faded out and Sirius found himself staring at Hogwarts front gates.

McKinnon was gazing down at a piece of paper in her hands. Her face and hands lit up by the feeble blue glow from the tip of her wand. "Peeves, this better not be some sort of joke," she muttered under her breath shoving the parchment in her pocket. Slowly striding to the edge of the gates she jammed a finger into a hole in-between two bricks, frowning and mumbling about Peeves and his harebrained ideas.

"Oi!" one of the flying boars at the top of the gate screeched. "What you doing down there girly?"

Marlene grinned stepping up in front of the gates again. "Headmaster sent me down to pick up an order from the Hog's Head. Told me to prod that knot thing in the hole and you'd let me out," she told the boar and it rolled with laughter.

"Here that Ivan? Headmaster's sending the students to pick up his booze. Real winner we got this time." The other boar snorted and the gates melted away.

"You be careful girly. Hear tell there is some dark business afoot these days," Ivan called warningly as Marlene strolled up the path.

"Will do!" she yelled back, waving merrily.

Suddenly a great silver mist blew across the scene and Sirius blinked several times watching the path to Hogsmeade with little Marlene strolling along fade away. "Shit," he cursed as he found himself standing in a tiny kitchen. Evidently, the memory was corrupted.

Pounding music filled the air as Marlene danced in front of a little stove bobbing her head causing her dark braid to sway. "London calling to the zombies of death. Quit holding now and draw another breath," she sang quietly her voice lost in the sound surrounding her. Sirius smiled softly. She looked quite cute dancing there in her little pajamas.

"Marley!" someone yelled and Sirius turned around and a dark haired, freckled man stumbled through him. "Marlene, a dull roar, love. I pulled a double last night," he said, roughly running a hand over his stubble-covered chin.

Grinning, Marlene placed a cup of coffee in the man's hand. "Moody Flooed, he needs you there in an hour. You came in late. Didn't want to risk seeing what's-her-name's peachy ass."

He wrapped his arm around her, hugging her close and kissing her head. "I got rid of what's-her-name and her perfect peachy little ass after the incident at Easter."

"Really?" Marlene said, stunned. "You didn't have to do that."

"Mm," he mumbled ignoring her comment and peering over her head and into the skillet. "Omelets?"

"Yeah," she answered turning back to the stove.

"Did the twins ever come in last night?" the man asked as he hopped up unto the counter, sloshing a bit of coffee on his bare chest. "Shit."

Marlene tossed him a towel as if she had expected it to happen. "Yeah, around one or two. They'll sleep all day."

"Marlene! Dear God! It's early. What the fuck are you doing, pounding that shit? Other people live here!" another male voice roared and the man on the counter chuckled.

"Mungo's Flooed! You're working overtime!" Marlene yelled and a muffled "fucking hell!" rang back.

"Damn, first day of the summer and it looks like you'll be spending it alone. I'll talk with Moody and see if I can get some time off. I don't want you spending the whole summer trapped here by yourself," the man on the counter said and Marlene just shrugged, flipping her omelet.

"It's not a big deal, Mark. I think I can manage to keep myself entertained."

He ruffled her hair. "Nah, you shouldn't be alone. Make the idiots get up before noon."

Sirius grinned as another man entered the room and grabbed Marlene by the waist making her dance with him. "Mathew! My omelet is going to burn," she screeched trying to get away from him.

"Omelets? With bacon?" he asked, eagerly sniffing the air before letting her go and moving to the stove.

"As if you can have an omelet without bacon," Marlene replied shoving him away. "Coffee is behind Mark."

Mathew kissed her cheek before turning for the coffee. "Why can't all women be like you? I mean, I went out with this girl last week who didn't eat meat_ or _white foods. They all eat like… rabbit food or something."

"I suggest finding a bird raised by a group of ravenous men and then she'll have a normal appetite," Marlene said jokingly as the silvery mist gusted up again.

When the mist cleared Sirius was no longer standing in the tiny little kitchen with Marlene and her brothers, but a small suite containing Marlene, Avery, and some man Sirius didn't recognize. Marlene was writhing on the cream carpeted floor, her screams echoing off the walls as the tall dark unknown man pointed his wand at her.

"Little bitch bit me. Tried to rip off my ear," he said conversationally to Avery gesturing to the blood running down his neck.

"McKinnon is a feisty one." Avery smirked watching her twist and turn in agony with some sort of sick pleasure. "How'd you manage to get her? She wasn't in the castle?"

The dark man smiled revealing crooked, white teeth as he shrugged. "Nah. Must have been sneaking out or something. Walked right to me. I just grabbed her and Disapparated." He jerked his wand upward and his curse lifted leaving Marlene sputtering and gasping in the floor. "Ah, well, suppose that's the end of my fun. Happy Halloween, mate." He clapped Avery on the back and started for the door.

"Hell, Travers, stick around; go get a drink or something. You can have sloppy seconds," Avery offered, grinning.

Travers raised an eyebrow. "You know, usually I'd say no to that, but I think the bitch needs to be taught a lesson. Damn ear smarts like hell." Avery grinned again as Travers disappeared through the door.

Marlene managed to climb to her feet as the men held their little mocking conversation. "Fucking bastard," she muttered as Avery turned to her.

"Now, now, no need for such harsh language, Marlene," Avery murmured, striding over to her. Marlene stood perfectly still as he cupped her cheek, brushing her sweat-soaked locks out of her face. "You are quite pretty, you know that, McKinnon?" he said arrogantly, running his other hand under her shirt.

Marlene raised her chin and spat in his face. "Get your fucking hands off me," she hissed, fisting his red hair in her hands and slamming it downward as she brought her knee up. The sound of his nose breaking echoed throughout the tiny room as Marlene dashed for the door.

She realized her mistake too late and her chin collided with the floor as he gripped her ankle. "Fucking hell, Marlene! Kick the bastard when he is down," she raged at herself as Avery grabbed her arm and yanked her onto her knees.

If it hadn't been for the gravity of the situation Sirius would have laughed at the way she rolled her eyes muttering on and on about what great help all her defense training was as she didn't seem to find necessary to put any of it to use.

A sharp slap silenced her and she glowered up at Avery. "Can we just get this over with? I am sure heaven is an interesting place," she asked sardonically.

Avery laughed scornfully. "What makes you think you are going to die, Marlene?"

Fear flashed through her hazel eyes and Sirius swallowed. "Oh, darling, I'm not going to kill you. I'm not _allowed_ to kill you. You're a student, McKinnon. We don't want Dumbledore to think we have access to his students."

"What's to keep me from telling him? Shit, Avery, you've just confessed to being one of them. Don't think that I won't tell. You'll spend the rest of eternity in Azkaban." Her mind seemed to be clicking along a lot faster than Sirius' because he was still mauling over the "we."

"Death Eaters," he mumbled as Avery placed Marlene under the Cruciatus Curse once more. Sirius stomach churned at the sight of Avery's delighted expression as he watched her writhe in pain.

Tears were streaming down Marlene's cheeks and her nose was bleeding when Avery finally lifted the curse. "Fuck," she whimpered rolling to her side and she tried regain control of her twitching limbs.

Avery chuckled. "Not quite yet, love, but we will be getting to that. First, you are going to suck me and then you'll do it again. And then maybe, if you a good job, I'll fuck you."

Wiping the blood from her nose on the back of her hand Marlene sat up. "You come near with that fucking wart you try to pass off as a dick and I'll remove it," she growled, coughing up blood.

"_Imperio,_" Avery hissed and Sirius was almost thankful that the silver mist swirled up around him again.

He found himself standing on the Hogwarts Express staring at James and himself chatting lightly as they walked toward their compartment.

"I don't know, Prongs," the memory of Sirius said, shrugging as he and James slowly strode down the corridor to their usual compartment for the long train ride to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. "It's just, she's never, you know, handled that kind of news well before."

James nodded. "But, she's never really liked me before either. I mean, the end of last year, we got on rather well, you know."

Sirius walked around himself as he ran his hand through his hair. "I suppose. Just don't get your hopes up, mate."

"I know." James sighed.

He was so distracted by watching himself come up with some sort of encouraging words for James he didn't even notice someone run smack into his memory self's chest. "Oomph," he gasped as the girl who tried to run him over fell onto the ground. Sirius gazed down at her and he smiled recognizing her.

Marlene was scurrying about to collect her things, her messy dark hair flying everywhere. "Damn, McKinnon, are you blind?" he heard himself say, and he glared at the haughty image. Why was he barking at her? It was just an accident.

Marlene's head shot up and she gave him a half-grin as James knelt down to help her pick up her things. "Nope, just didn't expect an ape to be standing in the middle of the corridor." She turned back down to her bag, shaking her head and searching for her wand. James handed it to her.

"Thanks, James," she said lightly, taking the wand and repairing her bag. Together they shoved the rest of her things into the oversized purse and she stood up.

Sirius frowned at himself as he stormed off toward the compartment. _Am I always such a prick?_

"Head Boy, huh?" Marlene asked James, smiling.

"Yeah, won't Evans be thrilled?" James chuckled tucking Marlene's hair behind her ear.

Shrugging, Marlene tossed her bag over her shoulder. "Ah, Lily isn't as spiteful as she seems. She is fed a lot of crap about you. Maybe this new arrangement will force her to open her eyes. You're a likable guy, James. She's just rather blind to it, 'cause of Snape. You know?"

James shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You know, Marley, Sirius and Remus have been trying to comfort me about this thing all summer, and it takes you less than half a minute and I feel like my cocky old self again."

"Well, just don't ruffle your hair. She hates that," Marley told him before waving goodbye and hurrying down the corridor again.

"See ya!" James called and she waved over her head again before disappearing into a compartment.

The silver mist fogged up around Sirius once more.

He was back in that same suite with Marlene and Avery. Sickness crashed over him as he watched her struggle to regain control over herself as she sat kneeling in front of the bastard, her face covered in semen. Her eyes kept clearing and fogging over again as she fought off the curse. "Clean yourself up," Avery demanded and Marlene moved to wipe her face on her sleeve.

"No, no, no," Avery said, smirking. "Like a cat." Sirius shook his head frantically and tears spilled out of Marlene eyes as they continued wavering in and out of focus. Avery grabbed her hand, slowly dragging it across her forehead before holding it to her mouth.

"Lick it off."

Marlene choked, shaking her head.

"Now," Avery growled. Her eyes fogged over completely, leaving the sparkling hazel orbs blank and lifeless as she did as instructed. "Good, kitty, kitty," Avery cooed, petting her head.

Unable to choke down his disgust anymore Sirius pulled out of the Pensieve, retching on the wood floor of the boy's dormitory.

"Yeah, I did that too," whispered Marlene from behind him and he sat up turning to face her, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. She was standing in the doorway to the bathroom, buttoning her shirt, her hair was dripping wet and cut short around her chin. Brushing the wet curls out of her eyes, she glanced up at him. "How far did you get?"

"It's choppy," answered Sirius weakly. He hadn't expected her to be standing there, so calmly, so surely, so… unaffectedly. "Got a bit of breakfast with your brothers, sneaking out of the castle, Travers, and then… just the end with… the cat." He stumbled over the words, while vanishing his vomit and picking up the Pensieve.

Marlene nodded. "Don't watch the rest." Her eyes fell closed and she shook her head. "That was enough."

"Okay," he answered quietly, placing the basin on his bedside table, letting her keep her secrets if she wanted. Marlene strode over to it swirling her wand over the substance held within until the wisp of memory latched on and she placed it back in her head before retrieving the second one.

"I, uh, like your hair," Sirius muttered as the silent moment turned to a long string of time.

With a tiny laugh Marlene brushed away a tear. "Yeah, so do I."

"Do you…" He paused, not knowing exactly what to say. "Want me to take you to Dumbledore?"

Shaking her head Marlene ran her fingers into her hair. "No. I'm not going to Dumbledore. I can't go to Dumbledore."

"What?" Sirius frowned darkly watching her scratch her head as if she was tracing something with a finger.

"Black," she started, dropping her hand and drying her hair with a flick of her wand. "What good would it do? Do you realize what is going on in the Ministry right now? They are not going to take the word of some random Muggle-born girl over a pureblood. They won't."

"Of course, they will. They have to you're telling the truth," he said stupidly.

Drawing another complicated shape on her scalp Marlene rolled her eyes. "Don't be dense, Black," she scoffed before striding around him.

He grabbed her arm and she screamed ripping away from him in frantic fear. "Shit, I'm sorry," Sirius cursed shoving his hands in his pockets.

Chewing his bottom his in nervousness he watched her bite down sobs and fight to regain her self-control. "S' alright," Marlene sniffed after a moment tracing another figure on her scalp, keeping her distance from him.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked in confusion. The anxious way she kept doodling on her head beginning to worry him.

Marlene stared at him blankly for a moment. "Oh, um, it's a protective set of runes," she explained, drawing the figures in the air with a finger. "They are easy to break if you know that they are there, but if not, they can keep others out of your head." Glancing down at the floor she shrugged embarrassedly. "If you place them correctly, you can prevent your mind from accessing certain thoughts or memories without directly seeking them. I'm decent with runes I started looking for an answer in some old texts after… well, you know, so I could sleep. They don't last long, about four hours, but it gives you a chance to make it through the day, without… Well, doing something like that," she said referring to her earlier reaction to his touch.

Confusion still marred Sirius' handsome face. "Wait, what do you mean? Without directly seeking them?"

"Dreaming… or like… triggers. You know, like when you see something and it causes you to remember something else? It prevents that," she said softly, slowly walking over to his bed. Sighing, she dropped down and started tugging on her boots.

Sirius carefully sat down beside her avoiding touching her, but unwilling to stay far away. "Where are you going, McKinnon?"

"I'm already late for Herbology," she answered shortly not looking up at him.

"McKinnon," he breathed, tucking a short frizzy curl behind her ear. "You should just stay here. Sleep. You're pale. You're tired. You've been through a lot, Marlene. You just—"

Cutting him off Marlene shoved his hand away from her, gazing up at him determinately. "I went through a lot almost four months ago, Black. Not today. I am not going to let that bastard think he affected me." Closing her eyes tightly, she chewed her bottom lip. "Listen. Thank you, but I am fine now. Honestly, it's not even so much that— What they— What _he_ did was vile, but I just…"

She placed her hand over her abdomen. "It was _nothing_ compared to this, okay? So, don't worry about me. I am perfectly capable of handling this on my own."

With a sigh, Sirius decided to let her at least think he conceded.

"So, Peeves?" he asked, smiling slightly.

"He has a penchant for gum," Marlene answered with a grin.

* * *

Endnote:

1) Thank you for reading. Please review if you have the time.


	5. Chapter 5

Danse Russe

Chapter 5

_There's a tiny dancer in my bed_

Sirius Black slumped back in his chair gazing up through lowered lashes over the bobbing heads of younger students that filled the common to the squishy armchair Marlene was curled up in. "Lily is completely pissed about it," James Potter told him running a hand through his hair lazily. Sirius simply nodded in response.

"Well, of course, she's pissed," muttered Remus Lupin, dropping to the sofa. "You've had her spying on the girl for over a month for _Sirius_ without an explanation. Did you really think she was going to take it well when she found out _who_ she was spying for without the _why_?" Rolling his eyes Remus roughly ran a hand over his face. "Honestly, I can't believe you two asked her to spy on Marley in the first place."

Blowing out his cheeks in a loud irritated sigh Sirius sunk a bit lower in his chair, trying to get a better view of the girl reading in the chair across the room. "It's not like we asked her to read her _diary_ or something, Moony. I just thought someone should keep an eye on her," he grumbled.

His attention piqued by the arrival of his friends Peter Pettigrew looked up over his Charms book. "Why do we care about Marlene anyway?" he asked. Sirius shot him a glare while Remus stuttered for a suitable answer.

"Why wouldn't we, Wormtail?" James questioned wrinkling his brow into a frown. Peter accepted the answer with a shrug and James turned the conversation elsewhere.

As the topic drifted to Quidditch Sirius adjusted his position again giving him a clear view of Marlene. She was curled up in the scarlet armchair, a giant ancient looking text balanced carefully between the arm of the chair and her leg, her chin resting in one hand while the other idly jotted down notes occasionally. Dorcas Meadows was lying in the floor beneath her asking questions or commenting on something when the silence stretched on for too long.

Sirius chuckled quietly as he watched her eyes try to flutter closed on her and she shook her head forcing herself to stay awake. He was quite frankly in awe of her. She had done exactly what she had said she would do: continue with her day and not provide Avery with the satisfaction of affecting her. Sure, there were signs of stress and fatigue, but only if you were looking closely. Sirius just happened to have been watching her that closely all day.

From the moment she shoved her shaking hands in her pockets and trotted down the staircase and out the portrait hole he had been watching her. Watching with a hint of a smirk as she stopped on the steps just outside the entrance to the castle and forged a note from Professor Darling on one of the stolen scraps of his stationary excusing her for her tardiness. Watching with barely bridled rage when Snape call her a _mud-blood_ in the hall on her way to lunch until of course, she backhanded him and quickly followed that with a burning hex. Watching her easily deflect any hex or curse Benjy Fenwick sent her way in Defense, in a sort of bemused wonder. And now, watching her fight off sleep with a fierce determination Sirius was sure he could never muster.

When her eyes tried to close again Sirius stood fingering a small chocolate in his pocket. James gazed up at him with a questioning glance and Sirius shook his head slightly. "Where—" Peter started to ask but James cut him off gaining his attention with a well placed remark. Sirius smiled slightly he had expected James to be upset that he refused to tell him about Marlene, but when the time came for James to ask, he hadn't. Just gave him one of those slaps on the back with a shrug of a smile.

Casually striding across the room he stood behind Marlene's chair his hands shoved deeply into his pockets, the fingers of his left still toying with the chocolate in its depths. Peering over the top of her curly hair he studied the odd figures covering her notes. "Does that actually mean anything?" he asked his dark brows wrinkling as he gestured at the hieroglyphics on the parchment.

Marlene started at the sound of his voice. Her eyes wide and her breathing erratic, she quickly turned to face him. "Shit, you scared me," she told him, forcing a smile.

"I noticed," he answered simply leaning over the back of the chair and grabbing her book before it plopped on the floor. "So, you understand this gibberish then?" he queried offering her the tome.

"Yeah," she mumbled taking the book from him and smiling uneasily. Sirius shrugged and moved to sit on the arm of her chair.

Dorcas Meadows gave him and odd look and he merely raised an eyebrow, silently telling her to mind her own business. She took the hint slowly gathering her things and finding a new person to study with. Sirius had always been like that: quietly commanding, able to obtain whatever he wanted with a simple look or word. Marlene gazed at her questioningly as she left and Dorcas mumbled something about needing to ask Mary MacDonald something.

Pulling out one of the chocolates in his right pocket Sirius opened it. "So, what's this mean then?" he asked pointing out a phrase in her book before popping the chocolate in his mouth. Marlene found herself entranced by the way the sweet was drawn into his mouth, right passed those absurdly full lips and annoyingly straight teeth.

"Oh, er," she muttered when she realized she had been staring and turned to the book. _Lack of sleep_,_ that's all it is. I'm just tired_, she told herself vehemently. There was _no way_ she has just wished she was a piece of chocolate.

"Well, that's just basic instruction. Nothing really interesting." Flipping through the book she found a new page with a picture of a stone tablet baring marks similar to those Sirius had found in her notes. "This is the interesting stuff. This is a photograph of one of the tablets found in Aeaea. It's believed to have belonged to Circe. Of course, there is no proof of that, but what had been translated has caused many…" her voice trailed of as he rolled another chocolate across his lips before slipping it into his mouth.

"Circe… she's the one that turned sailors into pigs, right?" he asked.

"Mmhmm," Marlene answered flipping the book back to the original page and returning to her studying.

Her quietness befuddled him. She was never quiet; at any given chance, she would prattle on endlessly. And yet, she always seemed to fall into silence around him.

Sirius chuckled quietly leaning over and whispering into her ear. "Do I make you nervous, McKinnon?" he asked huskily.

Jerking her head back to face him she found herself nose to nose with him, staring directly into startling fathomless grey eyes. "No," she retorted defiantly. "You just… confuse me, I suppose."

With a shrug Sirius sat back, digging in his left pocket and offering her the chocolate that was held within. "Hmm. Don't birds usually try to figure out the things that confuse them? Not avoid them."

"I didn't realize you considered me a bird, Mr. Black," Marlene responded easily, placing the chocolate in her mouth. "And I am not avoiding you."

"You're not?" he asked smirking slightly as her eyes drooped further and she shook her head.

The moment she had popped the sweet in her mouth fatigue and tiredness washed over her overwhelming her to the point that she could barely hold her eyes open any longer. "You bastard," she murmured weakly sinking lower into the chair, attempting to glare at him through sleep heavy lids. "You've…" her voice faded out completely as her eyes fell closed and she slumped asleep in the chair.

"Drugged you," Sirius finished her statement. "Yes, well, you see, you were awfully tired and you just wouldn't go to sleep. And, McKinnon despite the fact that you say differently, you've gone through hell day and you need to sleep," he informed her sleeping form quietly as he went about picking up her books and notes and stowing them in her bag. Gently lifting Marlene up he nestled her head on his shoulder, wrapping her legs around his waist. With a huff he hefted her heavy bag onto his other shoulder and tightened his grip on her before trudging up the stairs, shooting silencing glares at anyone who looked his way.

Though, what he was doing boarded the line of kidnap Sirius didn't think of it that way. He was simply doing the girl a favor. He had let her have her way earlier that day— against his better judgment. But he would not allow her to continue down this path of self-destruction. If she didn't sleep soon, he would end up looking after her for the rest of her decidedly short life. Something he definitely didn't want to do.

Honestly, he didn't even _want_ to be caring for her now, but some dreaded sort of… _duty_ had come over him and he did not have a choice. _Stupid girl,_ he thought in irritation. She was still screwing with his head despite the fact that she claimed to just fine.

Dropping her bag on the floor near his bed with a dull _thump_ he laid Marlene's limp body on his bed. It was really beginning to seem like she was spending more time in it than he was lately. He tugged off her boots and tossed them in the floor before sitting down beside her.

It was just after eleven, and though he normally wouldn't ever go to sleep before three on a Friday night he decided that it was probably the best idea. It was the easiest way to keep an eye on her.

Ruffling Marlene's hair he stood and grabbed his pajamas before heading off to the shower. Fifteen minutes later, he strode back into the room clad in nothing but a pair of red and gold plaid sleep pants.

He returned to his bed to find Marlene curled up at the top of the bed her baggy shirt and pants twisted around her. Frowning, he carefully rolled her to her back, untangling her shirt from around her waist and attempting to straighten out her trousers.

Well, he didn't want to end up tangled up in Marlene McKinnon's clothes, so he supposed they would have to go. Shuffling around in his trunk for a few moments he pulled out a tiny red baby doll negligee. It had been a gag gift for Lily, but James hadn't allowed Sirius to give it to her at Christmas. Glancing from the negligee in his hands to the sleeping Marlene in his bed he shrugged. It would probably be too big for her, but it would do.

With a flick of his wand he locked the door and stood near the edge of his bed, dropping the gown beside Marlene. Easily undoing the button of her pants, he slipped them off her hips to find bright green knickers with tiny bees buzzing across the fabric. He snorted. Why did it surprise him? He should have expected her to have cartoons on her underwear.

Tossing the pants in his chair he turned his attention to her absurdly tall socks. They were practically thigh-highs, but not nearly as attractive as ones Sirius was used to seeing. No, these reminded him of something a child would wear— dizzyingly checked in greens and blues.

As the socks joined the pants in his chair Sirius smiled faintly and the little pink elephants painted on Marlene's toes. He gently ran his finger across the glossy black and pink surface of her toenail. _Damn, _he thought, _her feet are small_.

Bringing his gaze up from her feet to the rest of her, Sirius sighed. _Merlin, all of her is small._ He placed her foot back down onto the bed, his fingers lightly grazing across her arch as he removed it. Smirking as her muscles twitched he told himself to remember she was ticklish. Though, he had no idea why he would ever need such a trivial piece of information about her.

Removing her shirt and putting the negligee on her was a bit more complicated, but Marlene slept on despite his not so quiet cursing and many failed attempts to get her lifeless limbs to do what he wanted them to. Blowing his hair out of his eyes he lay Marlene back on the pillows and brushed her hair out of her eyes. His hand lingered on her cheek and he gazed at her appraisingly.

She wasn't beautiful, not even pretty, but there was something attractive about her, he thought. He supposed he would call her "cute," like a puppy, or a little girl. That's what she was: a little girl. Despite the fact that she was eighteen and a woman by most standards, she was still just a little girl. How could she be more than that? She surely wasn't bigger than a twelve-year-old. She even had the rosy freckled cheeks and big eyes of a child.

He traced her bottom lip with his thumb. Her lips, though, they didn't belong to a child. No, she possessed the kind of mouth that wanted to be kissed, that begged to be kissed. It surprised him that he never noticed before. Cerise in color, full and pouting, and the way the bottom one had stayed slightly swollen and glossy all day because she kept chewing on it in nervous habit. Merlin, he was tempted to kiss her even now.

Marlene nuzzled against his hand in her sleep turning and humming a little sigh. A smile tugged at the corners of Sirius' mouth. He was really quite fond of that sound.

Whispering a shrinking charm he watched the scarlet gown shrink until hugged her small breasts and fitted the rest of her snuggly. A chuckle rumbled in his chest as he gazed at her as she lay there nestled in his pillows in a gown that would decidedly be called sexy had it been on anyone other woman. Marlene just looked out of place, like a little girl in her mother's favorite dress and heels— adorable, innocent, and sweet. Tracing the gentle slope of her nose with a finger, Sirius smiled softly. Maybe he was becoming rather fond of her. She had surely become more than just a twittering jay with too many freckles and not enough ass.

--

Sirius awoke abruptly to a sharp stinging pain across his left cheek. "You fucking bastard! How dare you?" Marlene whispered angrily as he opened his eyes. Her cheeks were flushed with rage and her hazel eyes flashing dangerously.

"What?" he growled sleepily, sitting up and running a hand through his dark hair.

"You _drugged _me!" Marlene hissed. "You drugged me, and then–" Taking a deep breath, she tried vainly to calm herself. "–then dressed me like a whore!" Her bottom lip trembled as she sniffed and let her curls fall in front of her eyes blocking his view of the tears pooling in them. "Who the _fuck_ gave you the right–"

Sirius snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her back into the bed and Marlene released a tiny squeak of fear. "First of all," he said, tugging the bed curtains closed and placing a silencing charm on them. "You don't look like a whore. It's something _you_ are not capable of. Secondly, I only drugged you because you weren't going to sleep on your own." As she opened her mouth to make a retort, and he placed a silencing finger over her lips. "And lastly, _you_ gave me the right the day you stumbled up here to cry in my bed."

A loud crack rang in Sirius' ears as Marlene small hand collided with his cheek again sending that same stinging pain across his flesh. "How dare you," she said in a low hiss of a voice. "I told you yesterday that I am perfectly able to take care of myself. My well-being is none of your concern. _And_ if merely crying in front of someone gives her the right to drug you, how would you like you death served to you? In pumpkin juice or tea?"

His piercing grey eyes suddenly darkened with a seething anger and he grabbed her arm as she attempted to leave. Pinning her to the bed and gripping her arms so tightly the soft flesh bruised, he growled, "Was that a threat, McKinnon?"

Gazing up at him hatefully, Marlene shook her head. "No, it's merely a reminder that you aren't as infallible as you paint yourself to be. Your little friends are not the only ones who know of your weaknesses, Black. You seem to have forgotten that quite easily."

"Bitch," he hissed darkly releasing her and leaving the bed.

"Prick!" Marlene yelled back before storming out of the room, silently cursing herself as tears streamed down her cheeks. She hadn't meant to bring _that_ up.

--

"You fucking _idiot_!" Remus Lupin shouted, throwing his book bag at Sirius as he entered the seventh year's boy dormitory.

"What?" Sirius yelped, hurriedly scurrying out of the way as the heavy bag flew toward him.

"Marley!" Remus yelled, dropping down on his bed.

"I didn't do anything to _her_," Sirius hissed out angrily at the sound of her name. "She's the one that threatened to kill me."

"Sirius," Remus groaned looking at his oblivious friend. He really didn't understand what he had done was wrong. "You fucking drugged her. How is that nothing?"

"She needed the sleep. I did her a favor," Sirius replied hotly. "She slapped me. Twice! Just because I helped her. And _then_ she threatened to kill me."

Sighing loudly Remus muttered, "Don't be stupid, Padfoot. You know that wasn't what she was doing."

"No," Sirius growled, "she was threatening to tell the whole bloody school that you're a werewolf and I am a fucking idiot."

"Sirius," Remus said quietly. "She was frightened. You scared her. She was simply using any tactic she could to escape. Marlene would never—"

"I know!" Sirius shouted cutting him off. "I know that. Okay? I know. I just… Goddamn it!"

With a heavy sigh Remus dropped his head into his hands. "What the hell were you thinking? Drugging her and bringing her up here."

"You watched me!" Sirius retorted, glaring at his friend. "You watched me take her up here. You knew what I was doing. Why didn't you tell me it was stupid then?"

"I didn't _know_ you were drugging her! I just thought… hell I don't know. You two have been confusing as hell since January," Remus mumbled, tugging at his hair, not meeting Sirius' glare.

"Well, has she said anything?" Sirius asked, dropping to his bed across from Remus'.

Laughing rather coolly Remus looked up. "No, this is the first time she has spoken to me. I failed my last Arithmancy quiz because she refused to study with me."

"Like that's my fault," Sirius huffed.

"Of course, it's your fault. She was mad at me because of you."

"I didn't do anything," Sirius said defiantly.

"You _drugged_ here and put her in your bed!" Remus screeched indignantly.

Leaning back in his bed, Sirius glanced out the window, his chest suddenly heavy with something that was most decidedly _not_ guilt.

Gazing up at Sirius with soulful eyes, Remus murmured, "Sirius, honestly, think about her for a second. How do you think she felt waking up dressed like that in your bed with no recollection of how she got there?"

Sirius' dark grey eyes flicked back to Remus. Shit, he was an idiot. "I know. I am a fucking idiot," he mumbled moodily. Stupid Moony. He was always right.

--

Blood spattered up into Sirius Black's handsome face as his fist connected with Conroy Avery's face once again. He had lost his wand at some point during the scuffle and decided his hands worked just as well. Maybe even better. He could feel that sick twisted part of him, that part that surely came from his mother, enjoying the way Avery's bones cracked under the force of his blows, the way he could feel the fight, the life, slowly draining out of the worthless scum, who dared call himself a man.

"Padfoot!" someone yelled and Sirius stopped mid-punch and glanced up to find the Head Boy staring wide-eyed at him. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

Sirius just shook his head and punched Avery again and again. "You are going to kill him!" James Potter exclaimed fisting Sirius' robes in his hands and trying to tug him off Avery. "You can't just–" James cut off as Sirius spit in Avery's blood soaked face before stepping away and letting Sirius finish whatever it was he was doing.

"You fucking bastard. You come near her again and I will fucking kill you. No, if you as much as look in her direction, I _will_ kill you," Sirius growled. Crawling off the bloody mass that was Conroy Avery Sirius fisted the bloodstained locks of Avery's hair in his hand and yanked him off the ground. He slammed up against the wall and held Avery in place with one hand wrapped around his throat. "My wand, James," he muttered darkly. James Summoned Sirius' long elder wand and placed it in his out-stretched hand.

"Legilimens," Sirius murmured pointing the wand directly between Avery's eyes.

With a rush of color he was sent spiraling through Avery's memories, flash after flash of scenes flitting before him. _Avery getting his first broom…Avery in detention… Avery in the Great Hall… Avery at Christmas… and then finally Avery with her. _Sirius focused on that memory and Avery started to fight against him.

'_No_,' Sirius demanded angrily and Avery stopped struggling.

_McKinnon was kneeling before him, her cheeks glistening with tears, her sparkling hazel eyes fogged over in defeat. _

Another flash of memory and _Avery was there, his hand stifling her scream, his wand under her chin, dragging her toward a bed._

_She was screaming, screaming so loudly, and yet Sirius couldn't hear the sound._

_Avery was on her, slamming himself into her as she screamed, as she cried, as she scratched and clawed at him. _

_McKinnon was staring confusedly at Avery, just staring, not blinking. _

_She was vomiting outside the Greenhouses. _

_She was on the Quidditch Pitch, the Bludger was hurling toward her. She was speaking rapidly into the microphone. She was watching James score. The iron ball hit her, sinking into her stomach. Her hazel eyes were wide with pain. And Avery grinned. _

Sirius stepped back stowing his wand in his pocket, blinking away the image. "You will rot in hell. I will make sure of it," he hissed, slamming his fist into Avery's face once more.

"Padfoot?" James said softly, watching the bloody man slide down the wall.

"It's not my business to tell, Prongs. Suffice it to say, he hasn't got what he deserved," Sirius growled kicking the unconscious boy and storming off down the hall.

Perhaps, she could forgive him now. Forgive him for being such a controlling, heartless bastard.

--

Marlene felt his presence the moment he entered. The feeling of dread, the sickening feeling of guilt in her stomach, accompanied with a ridiculous sense of safety, of security.

"Remus," he growled as he stepped up to his friend's table in the library.

Of all the places, she had hoped to get away from him here. It had been almost a month of them endlessly avoiding each other and it was so painfully obvious. It had never been that way before, but now, he was everywhere and she couldn't even bring herself to meet his eye. She felt so incredibly guilty. He had only been trying to help and she had hurt him. She knew she had. She had said it because it would. Closing her eyes, she focused her thoughts elsewhere as the two fell into a hushed and hurried conversation at the table across from her.

When their whispered words ended, she opened her eyes. He was right in front of her leaning against the table, his hands held out while Remus inspected the injuries covering them. "What did you do to yourself, Black?" she asked in shock, not thinking about anything more than the blood spattered across his robes, his swollen knuckles, covered with deep gashes as if they had been split open.

"Nothing of your concern, McKinnon," he snapped at her, running a hand through his hair in frustration and she fell silent.

"Sirius, stop," Remus said. "You'll make it harder to heal." Shaking her head to clear her thoughts Marlene glanced back down at her Charms essay. "Damn it, I'm going to go get something to clean this with from the tower," Remus mumbled before gazing up into Sirius' blood spattered face. "Stay here," he demanded.

"No, Moony," Sirius said sarcastically, "I am going to go running around the castle like this." Remus shot him a glare before leaving him alone.

Marlene slowly began to pick up her things placing them in her bag. She didn't want to be alone with him. She didn't want to be near him period. It could lead to so many things, so many dangerous things.

"Where are you going?" he asked rather softly, his rage slowly ebbing away as he slumped into a chair. He shouldn't have snapped at her, he had scared her, he didn't mean to do that.

Her eyes flicked to his. "And that's of your concern because…?" she asked softly.

"You're a bitch, you know that, right?" he said lightly.

"Yes, I believe you've already informed me of that," she retorted, tossing her bag over her shoulder. He watched her hand protectively hover over her abdomen for moment before a sharp pain flashed through her eyes and it fell to her side.

"McKinnon," he called as she turned to leave. "We going to talk about it? Or are we going to keep dancing around it?"

Her chin quivered for a moment and she bit her bottom lip, but she refused to look at him. "What do you want me to say, Black?" she asked wrapping her arms around herself. "That I am sorry? That it was a horrible thing for me to bring up. That I only did it because you frightened me. Would anything really make a difference?"

"Do you ever find it funny that the person in the right is usually the one that carries the guilt?" he asked her back, slowly walking toward her and her shoulders relaxed just a fraction.

"What are you saying, Black? That I have nothing to apologize for?" she sniffe, turning around to face him. Tears trailed down her freckled cheeks and she jumped, slightly startled to find him standing directly in front of her.

Cupping her face in his bloody, broken hands Sirius gently brushed away her tears with his thumbs. "Yeah, that's what I am saying, McKinnon."

"I am sorry," she sniffed. "I wouldn't ever… I just…"

With a silent, ironic sort of laugh he said, "Don't apologize, McKinnon. If you apologize then I will have to apologize, and not only is that something I don't like to do, I'm really not good at it."

Marlene smiled faintly placing her left hand over his. Biting down his wince, Sirius watched her curiously as she kissed his palm. "Then, I'm not sorry," she whispered. "But still, I wouldn't… I love Remus, you know, and I would never–"

"Good," he murmured cutting her off by tilting her head up and capturing her lips in a soft kiss. It was so chaste and so innocent and yet, Sirius found himself trapped in it, entangled in the endless emotions it sent spiraling through every last one of his nerves.

Carefully stepping away from him Marlene shook her head. "Please don't," she said faintly, staring at her shoes.

"Right," Sirius said with a half grin smoothing down her hair and kissing the top of her head. "You should go. You probably have things to do," he murmured, watching her adjust her bag on her shoulder.

Marlene nodded chewing on her lip. "You know, Black, you really aren't as bad at apologizing as you think," she told him smiling slightly before she turned and slowly walked out of the library.

Sirius smirked, watching the way her hips swayed in her little girl sashay as she left. If only he could get all women to accept kisses as apologies…

* * *

Endnotes:

1) Thank you for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

DanseRusse

Chapter 6

_Think it over_

"You dirty rotten bastard!"

"Ms. McKinnon!" McGonagall screamed over the boos of the Gryffindors as the Slytherin Captain whacked James' head with his Beater's bat, evidently mistaking it for a Bludger.

Marlene merely danced just out of McGonagall's reach. "You had better call that a foul, Hooch! That was way out of line!"

The referee blew her whistle calling a foul and as James took the penalty shot, she hovered above Marlene. "You do the commentary McKinnon; I'll call the judge the match."

Marlene gave her an innocent smile and nodded. The game recommenced and Marlene continued with her rather biased play-by-play. "The magnificent Captain Potter with the Quaffle speeding toward the Slytherin goal posts. Seems those low and dirty moves the Slytherin teams got on display today are of no use. Gryffindor is still beating there asses into the ground." As McGonagall started to rage Marlene cut her off with a "sorry Professor."

"Potter with a neat pass to MacDonald. Quite the player MacDonald, third year, new to the team last year. His older sister is also quite the Quidditch player, lovely and single as well for those lads out there interested in a– Why you dirty little FUCKER!" Marlene screamed as the Slytherin Beater Conroy Avery slammed his bat into little Marty MacDonald's mouth.

"MS. MCKINNON!" McGonagall roared.

"I'M SORRY, PROFESSOR. I CALL THEM AS I SEE THEM!" Marlene roared back watching James call for a time out. The Gryffindor Quidditch team gathered down on the ground to see to Marty's injuries.

When the team was back in the air Marlene glanced at Avery and frowned. "He is still in the game?" she queried into the microphone. "That's the second foul in the game, Hooch! He could have knocked Marty's head off!" she yelled at the referee. Madam Hooch gave her a warning glare and Marlene went back to commentating the game.

"MacDonald back in possession of the Quaffle with a nice pass to Wood. OUCH,–Wood is pelted with a Bludger sent by that bastard Avery. Sorry Professor! Slytherin Chaser Rosier takes the Quaffle. Where the hell are you, Black? It's your job to– Ah! There you go; I knew you had it in you. Gryffindor Beater Sirius Black hits Rosier in the back of the head with a Bludger. That's the Gryffindor way! Potter now in possession of the Quaffle speeding toward the Slytherin goal po– Oh ho! Nice dive Potter! You show those Slytherin ba– sorry Professor – Potter nearing the goal. NICE DOGDE! And he SCORES!" Marlene screamed loudly.

Sirius risked a glance in Marlene's direction as James fell into his usual 'victory dance' after scoring. She had climbed up so high on the ledge to escape Professor McGonagall; she was clinging to a Gryffindor flagpole. Her giant, Gryffindor plaid, rainproof hat sat lopsided on her head and she was grinning widely as she watched the game from her perch. He smiled softly. It was good to have her commentating again. The idiotic Ravenclaw, who had taken her place after Avery's Bludger hit her, had been useless.

As the game started again Sirius tore his eyes from her and went back to the match.

"Rosier in possession of the Quaffle once again. He passes it to– NICE intercept MacDonald!" Marlene yelled cheering along with the other Gryffindors as Marty MacDonald sped toward the goal posts. "He is nearing the posts, closer, closer, closer and YES! He scores! That's 50-30 GRYFFINDOR!"

The match continued fiercely for several long minutes each team grappling for the Quaffle until– "Look there! They've spotted the Snitch! Come on, Perkins! You can do it! Elbow him in the– Hey! That's cobbing, right there, Hooch! He could have put Perkins' eye out or something!" Madam Hooch gave Marlene an eye roll; she had just been encouraging the Perkins boy to do the same thing. Marlene stuck her tongue out at the referee before continuing with her commentary. "And, they're neck and neck! Perkins slightly in the lead. Come on, Perkins! Come on! And he's got it! Perkins caught the SNITCH. GRYFFINDOR WINS!"

--

"Hey Marley! What are you drinking?" James Potter yelled over the roar of the crowd as Marlene McKinnon entered the room.

Marlene picked her way through the crowd. "Just pumpkin juice for me," she told him with a small grin perching atop a table.

"Aw, come on, Marley, have some fun with us. Seven years. Seven bloody years, and you never drink with us," James whined. "Just a little rum?"

Remus Lupin wrapped an arm around her waist already slightly tipsy. "James, mate, Marley doesn't like the stuff. Don't know why. I think it's rather smashing myself. Nothing better than a bit of red currant rum, but Marley here has her reasons and we shouldn't judge." Marlene laughed and James pouted momentarily before filling her glass with pumpkin juice.

"You won't have as much fun without it," he told her as she sipped the drink.

"James." Marlene grinned. "I can have just as much fun with alcohol as I can without."

"Too right you are, Miss McKinnon," Remus said brazenly tugging her off the table. "Help me make a fool of myself on the dance floor." With that said he dragged her by the hand out into the middle of the common room.

Stepping up beside James, Sirius grabbed a bottle of fire whiskey. "Good game today, mate," he toasted before taking a large gulp. "Where's Moony?"

James nodded out toward the middle of the room where Remus was attempting to teach Marlene how to jitterbug. "With Marlene."

Sirius blew his hair out of his eyes haughtily. "Don't know why he insists on wasting his time with her."

"Same way you don't understand why I spend time with Lily," James replied shrugging and taking a sip of Sirius' whiskey, chuckling slightly to himself as lately Sirius had been spending more time with Marlene McKinnon than Remus ever had.

Shaking his head Sirius snorted. "No, I understand your thing with Lily. You _love_ her," he said jokingly.

James laughed. "Bit jealous that Moony spends his time with her instead of you?" _Or maybe, she's spending her time with him instead of you?_ James mused to himself.

With a bark-like laugh Sirius took a swig of his drink. "Hell, no. Just a bit concerned her perky attitude is going to rub off on him. Couldn't handle another happy little jaybird twittering around in here."

"You know you're glad she's back to twittering," James said quietly, sipping his drink.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I am," he replied before taking another swig from his whiskey bottle.

"Sirius!" Lily Evans called as she left her group of friends. "Dance with me? James always steps on my toes." James huffed.

"Can't keep your woman pleased, eh Prongs?" Sirius muttered to James before striding arrogantly across the room to Lily. James just smirked.

--

Marlene McKinnon dropped onto the sofa between Sirius and Remus, curling up with her head on Remus' shoulder. "Remus, d'you have plans for Hogsmeade this weekend?" she asked closing her eyes and inhaling his spring rain scent.

Sirius suddenly felt angry without an apparent reason. He flicked his grey eyes over to Marlene as she cuddled up closer to Remus, very obviously attempting to fall asleep and the flames of anger licked up. He frowned. Why the hell would _that_ make him angry?

"It's a full moon, Marley, why?" Remus answered simply, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and toying with her hair. He didn't bother to turn his gaze from the essay he was proofreading.

"Damn it," Marlene muttered. "Stupid lunar cycle. I wanted to borrow you."

As she fell into silent pouting Remus laid his head atop hers. "Aw, Marley, I am so sorry my lycanthropy is such a downer for you," he said dryly. Sirius rolled his eyes as Marlene nudged Remus smiling just a bit before she closed her eyes once again. "What did you need me for?" Remus asked after a moment.

"Mm," Marlene murmured forcing her eyes open. "The group Michael and Mitch had set-up for Saturday cancelled, so I'm filling in."

Remus' brow furrowed and he tossed the essay on the table beside the couch before fixing Marlene with an odd look. "You do that all the time. What do you need me for?"

Marlene blushed biting her lip and gazing at the red patterned sofa intently. "I –er– well… I didn't want to walk back up to the castle by myself."

"Oh," Remus sighed tilting her head up and kissing her forehead. "Well, Sirius will take you then."

"What?" Sirius and Marlene asked simultaneously both of their voices high-pitched with shock. "I will not," Sirius muttered and crossed his arms petulantly as Marlene childishly glared at Remus for making the suggestion, mouthing "No!"

Chuckling, Remus rolled eyes and leaned back against the couch cushions letting Marlene settle on his chest. "Fine, you'll just have to talk to Fenwick, then."

"I'll be fine on my own Remus. I just thought I'd ask if you weren't doing anything. It's not a big deal."

"Mm, okay," Remus answered, flicking his gaze to Sirius and smiling slyly at the thoughtful expression on his handsome face. Oh, yes, Sirius Black would be taking Marlene whether she wanted him to or not.

--

"Mm," Marlene sighed, breathing in the scent of pipe tobacco mingling with worn leather and the scent of an approaching thunderstorm.

"Careful, McKinnon. You keep that up someone will think your having an orgasm right here in the Potions classroom," Sirius Black scoffed, filling a vial with liquid inside their cauldron.

Marlene glanced up at him as she jotted down a quick phrase in her notes. "And who exactly would be giving me said orgasm? Surely not you?" She smirked and raised an eyebrow cheekily.

"Just so you so know, I make more of an 'hmm' when I climax, not an 'mm'. Similar, but not quite the same," she whispered conspiringly then turned back to her notes, chewing on her quill as he stared at her.

"I know _that_," he snapped after a moment.

Chuckling, Marlene looked up at him. "That was a bit delayed, wasn't it?" she asked and then grinned. Sirius huffed and pretended the jot something down in his notes. Smiling, Marlene nudged him with her shoulder. "I didn't mean to damage your ego, Black. I was simply _trying_ to be friendly."

Sirius raised an eyebrow haughtily. "By suggesting, I couldn't manage to get you off? How is that 'being friendly,'" he rather hissed as he whispered over the cauldron to her the enticing scent wafting from it muddling his mind. Marlene's cheeks flushed slightly red.

Encouraged by her embarrassment, Sirius continued, "And then, _and_ _then_, making fun of me for having a delayed response! Honestly, McKinnon, I am wounded. Teasing me without just cause…," he rambled off and Marlene chuckled, prodding him in the ribs with a finger earning a bark of laughter from him.

"Mr. Black! Mrs. McKinnon!"

As Marlene turned back to her notes Sirius watched her, smirking slightly. He edged closer to her and whispered softly into her hair. "McKinnon, let me take you wherever it is you're going this weekend." Marlene started at the sound of his voice and the feel on his breath tickling her neck, but Sirius held her in place with a hand at her waist. "Please?" he murmured gently kissing her neck.

A quiet hum escaped Marlene's lips as Sirius nuzzled against her placing tiny, feather-light kisses down the curve of her neck. "Yeah," she answered faintly. "Yeah, you can come."

"Good," he answered shortly, stepping away from her and packing his things. He shook his head. He had thought that scent was coming from the potion, not Marlene.

Before Marlene had a chance to realize what exactly had just happened the class was dismissed. Sirius corked a vial of potion and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and leaving her to pick up the mess herself.

--

"So, Lily and I–" James Potter started.

"Oooh, so it's Lily now is it?" Sirius said mockingly, grinning widely as he balanced on two legs of his chair.

James laughed. "Yeah, it's been Lily since before Christmas, Padfoot. Honestly, do you pay any attention to me?"

"What?" Sirius' jaw dropped in mock shock and his chair fell onto all four legs with a _thwack_. "Of course, I pay attention to you!" he shouted indignantly. "Prongs! How dare you sugg–"

At the loud noise and subsequent shouting a dark head popped up from the desk in front of them. "Flitwick back?" Marlene mumbled sleepily, rubbing her eyes and slipping off the desk and into her seat.

"Nah, Marley," James said lightly, smiling at her sleepily shocked expression ignoring Sirius' outraged face. He was obviously upset that Marlene was getting what he considered _his_ attention. "Go back to sleep, he shouldn't be back for another thirty minutes. Remus knows how to keep him distracted." Marlene nodded, crawling back up onto her desk and burying her face in the sweater she had bundled up to resemble a pillow.

Turning to Sirius, James shrugged. "She's a good detention mate, you know. She sleeps the whole time. We can talk about whatever we want. And she's not like Lily's friends, who think we deserve punishment and won't let us use the charmed quills for lines."

"We could get on just as well without her," Sirius said thoughtlessly, returning to his rant.

Before he could get a word out, however, James raised a dark eyebrow. "Yeah, maybe, but we'd be starving if it wasn't for her stock of Ice Mice," he told his friend, popping one of the sweets into his mouth causing his teeth to chatter.

"True," Sirius conceded, brow furrowing. "What was I on about, Prongs?" he asked.

James pretended to think. "You were telling me about your date with McKinnon this weekend."

"Oh, right." Sirius smiled easily falling for James' ploy. "And it isn't a date, Prongs. I am merely acting as a bodyguard. She needs one you know. Little thing like he– Hey! That's not what we were talking about!"

James grinned. "I know."

"I hate you, Prongs," Sirius growled jokingly.

"I know that, too," James answered. "Now, back to Lily. She and I are–"

"Prongs?" Sirius asked thoughtfully, obviously not paying attention to what James was saying.

Sighing tiredly, James looked up at Sirius. It seemed he was never going to tell his best friend that he was introducing his girlfriend to his parents. That was a rather big step in a relationship. He _needed_ to be comforted in the matter, but Sirius obvious had more _important_ things to discuss. James would just have to talk to Remus about it. "Yeah?" he mumbled dejectedly.

"What do you think of Marlene?" Sirius blew his hair out of his eyes leaning back on two legs of his chair. To the outsider, Sirius would have appeared to be his usual, arrogant, superior, Black self, but to James it was only to obvious he was nervous and on edge.

James glanced at the sleeping girl and shrugged. "She's a sweet kid."

Sirius nodded. "I smelled her," he said warily.

"Did she smell nice?" James asked cheekily biting down his grin.

Throwing one of the sweets at James, Sirius muttered, "That's not what I meant."

With a hearty laugh, James rolled his eyes. "Then, what exactly did you mean?"

"The Amortentia, it smelled like her," Sirius answered not meeting James' eyes.

James choked on the mouse in his mouth. "What?" he gasped.

"Yeah," Sirius chuckled fretfully. "I had just about the same reaction."

James' eyes flicked back to Marlene curled around her makeshift pillow. "Well… mine smelled like Lily," James offered smiling hopefully, knowing that was probably the least helpful bit of information he could have given his friend.

"Great," Sirius moaned, "Just great."

* * *

Endnotes: 

1) I know, it's short, rather unfulfilling, and uneventful. That's just the way things go.

2) Thanks for reading. Review if you'd like.


	7. Chapter 7

Danse Russe

Chapter Seven

_When I cannot believe I am living this way_

"Black," a soft feminine voice floated into Sirius' thoughts and he slowly lifted his head from his Transfiguration book to find the fair-haired Dorcas Meadows smiling warily at him.

"Hmm?" he grunted in acknowledgement returning his gaze back down to his notes. Not that he was actually studying. No, the ploy was to prevent Remus Lupin from asking any more questions about Sirius' supposed "pensive expression," as they sat in the library. After all, it only made sense to appear thoughtful when one was studying. And of course, Sirius was rather deep in thought and had been for quite some time. So, deep in thought he had actually missed Remus packing up and leaving to attend prefect duties.

But, how could he not be with a phrase like, '_well, mine smelled like Lily,_' from the infamous James Potter. After hearing such a thing it was quite amazing Sirius hadn't plunged off a building to end his musings. If James Potter, who had been 'in love' with Lily Evans since before girls had shed their cooties, smelled Lily then Sirius Black catching the scent of Marlene McKinnon in the devil's potion could only mean one thing, one thing that Sirius Black was _not_ going to believe. There had to be some explanation for it and Sirius Black being Sirius Black, would stumble upon it soon enough if he simply continued to ponder the different possibilities.

"Uh, well, I, uh," Dorcas stuttered and Sirius released a huff of annoyance.

"Yes, Meadows come on. Out with it," he snarled fixing her with a harsh glare.

Dorcas jumped back her brown eyes wide with shock. "Oh, uh, sorry, I just–" At Sirius' irritated groan Dorcas cut off and started anew. "I can't figure out this spell and I really– gods Black, you know how hard this is for me, could you please stop it with the death stare."

Sirius chuckled dryly. "Do I frighten you, Meadows?"

With a defiant tilt of her chin Dorcas frowned. "As if."

"Interesting," Sirius said as he turned his attention back to the pages of his book his bored tone disagreeing entirely with the word.

Releasing a resigned sigh Dorcas sat carefully on the edge of Sirius' table, blocking his view of his text with the tanned skin of her thighs. "Listen, Black." Sirius brought his eyes slowly up to her face very obviously scanning her body as he did so. There was a faint blush on her cheeks as he finally met her gaze and she continued speaking. "Lily's off with Potter, Lupin's being a prefect and Marlene is rubbish with Transfiguration. We have an exam in the morning I really can't afford to…" she trailed off as Sirius' eyes flicked back down to her legs.

He slowly drew a figure eight on her thigh with a finger. "You've got some pretty nice legs, Meadows," he said tonelessly.

"I– well– uh– thank you," Dorcas stammered, staring down at him confusedly as he continued to draw shapeless figures with the intensity of an artist across the smooth flesh.

Sirius stood abruptly and Dorcas was sure she would have fallen had she not been perched on his desk. "So, Transfiguration," he said nodding thoughtfully. "Let's go somewhere…" He paused glancing around the library, letting his eyes settle on the scowling figure of Madam Pince. "Where we can make a bit more noise."

A bit of uneasiness flashed in Dorcas' eyes, but it quickly fled as Sirius leaned over her in pretense of grabbing his satchel, chuckling quietly into her ear. "Don't worry, Meadows, I'm not really one to shag Gryffindor girls. It only leads to trouble."

"I wasn't," Dorcas started as he tossed his bag over his shoulder, but stopped suddenly as he flashed her a wink. She blushed prettily and laughed silently at herself before sliding off the desk and following Sirius out the library doors.

O

_What a delightful distraction_, Sirius thought with a pleased smirk as Dorcas Meadows huffed in annoyance crossing her arms and giving him quite the view.

"I don't know why it won't _freaking_ work," Dorcas exclaimed and Sirius chuckled.

"Relax a bit, won't you?" Sirius said coolly, raising an eyebrow as he pushed himself off the wall he'd been leaning against and striding over to her.

"I'm _trying_," Dorcas growled in exasperation.

Smirking, Sirius rolled his eyes, tucking a bit of her blonde hair behind her ear. "No, you're _not_," he said teasingly, resting his forehead against hers. "If you were trying, you wouldn't be this tense. It's not that hard to relax, you know."

Dorcas frowned magnificently at him and Sirius smiled slightly before placing a tiny kiss on her lips. "Now," he said commandingly, "_relax_, and cast the damned spell."

Turning from him Dorcas waved her wand, muttering, "Avis." Nothing happened. Dorcas groaned loudly earning yet another chuckle from Sirius. "It's not _funny_."

"Mm," Sirius murmured as he moved to stand behind her. "I know." A small shiver crawled up Dorcas' spine as Sirius gently brushed her hair to one side, exposing her neck. He rested his chin on her shoulder encircling her waist with his arms. "Try it, again. Maybe you're not getting the wand movement right." Dorcas nodded unable to get out any words with Sirius pressed so closely to her.

As she moved to cast the spell again Sirius nuzzled against her neck. "You know, Meadows," he breathed, letting his lips brush across her skin. "Your perfume, it's very… _intoxicating_." And it was true, Dorcas Meadows _did_ smell lovely. It was not, however, the scent that had wafted up from the Amortentia, but what did that matter? Sirius enjoyed the scent of Dorcas just as much. Or, at least that's what he told himself.

Dorcas chuckled nervously. "I thought we were…" her voice trailed off as he softly pressed kisses along the curve of her neck and she gave a little 'oh' of a sigh. Sirius ignored the pang of disappointment at the sound. He had wanted a hum.

"We are," he answered simply as he progressed from kisses to nibbling lightly on the delicate flesh. "You just need to relax a bit, _Dorcas_." He purposefully switched to her given name as he exhaled against her skin. "This'll help. It _always_ helps me relax."

"Oh," was her strangled response.

Sirius bit down a chuckle. "Articulate, aren't we?" he murmured turning her in his arms. She flashed him an angry look, but it quickly faded as her brought his lips down on hers.

He began slowly, gently, just the light pressure of his mouth on hers, before moved to pepper her chin and jaw with the same delicate kisses. "Black, if you don't kiss me properly soon, I swear I—" He cut her off bringing his lips back to hers. It was only half a moment before her hands were tangling his hair and he had her back pressed against the wall as their tongues battled.

When Dorcas thought she'd die from lack of oxygen Sirius moved on trailing long, hot kisses down the column of her throat. As he dragged his mouth across her collar bone his fingers nimbly undid the buttons of her shirt. "Merlin, you taste good, Meadows," Sirius mumbled as he placed soothing kisses over the tender spots skin that reddened during his affections. Dorcas nodded dazedly and Sirius flashed a smirk before kissing her passionately once more.

Again, they moved and Dorcas found herself staring up at him from the flat of her back as his fingers slowly traced the undersides of her breasts. It was with a sudden jolt she realized her shirt had fallen off at some point in their relocation. "Wait," she choked out placing her hands on his shoulders and giving him a tiny shove. "Wait, I—"

Sirius looked at her in mild confusion waiting patiently for her to speak. Dorcas smiled faintly, suddenly relieved for no apparent reason, perhaps it was his understanding expression or that look that said, "it's alright, you call the shots," despite the fact that it was entirely untrue. Sirius had been calling the shots since before they left the library.

After a long moment of contemplation Dorcas blushed. "I haven't been on anything since David and uh–" she paused again, cursing herself for the words about to leave her mouth. "Do you know a charm or something?" Sirius smiled.

"Of course, I do," he replied huskily.

O

"Gods, it was magnificent," Dorcas moaned dropping her head onto Emmeline Vance's shoulder. "I swear to you that boy made me feel things I didn't know I was capable of feeling."

Marlene gave a faint smile from across the table. "Are you quite sure 'boy' is the right word to describe him?" she asked teasingly.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "I should curse you, Marley. If you'd been better at Transfiguration I wouldn't be in this mess."

Emmeline snorted. "Weren't you just going on about how _marvelous_ it was? How exactly is it a mess? Shouldn't you be thanking her?"

"Thanking her?" Dorcas said in mock outrage. "Emmy, I will _never_ have that great of a shag again. I get to spend the rest of my life _knowing_ what great sex is, but only _having _mediocre _David Thatcher _sex." Marlene and Emmeline giggled.

"Oh, come on, Dorcas," Marlene scolded. "I am sure Sirius Black isn't the only good shag there is. Plus," she said with a shrug, "he's not exactly a bad guy, I mean you could—"

Emmeline snorted, yet again. "Oh listen to yourself, Marley. Sirius Black? Out for more than just a shag? Honestly." She shook her head and gave Marlene a warning smile. "Just because he has been moderately decent to you lately doesn't change who he is. Black's an arrogant, heartbreaking bastard. You'd do well to remember that."

Marlene frowned gazing down at the table almost abashedly. _Thank God, I didn't tell them _I've_ shagged him. Or rather he shagged me._ Flicking her eyes back to Emmeline, she smiled. "Yes. I realize that, but there is more to him than that, you know. Remus _is_ friends with him."

This time Dorcas snorted. "Yes, and if it weren't for the fact that you're friends with me, I'd say you had a poor taste in friends."

The spark of ire that rose up in Marlene's eyes at that statement informed Dorcas that she had crossed the line. Marlene McKinnon tolerated a lot of things, but she would _not_ stand for someone speaking ill of Remus Lupin. As far as she was concerned he was the closest thing to perfection on earth.

"You only say that because he turned you down," Emmeline said jokingly, trying to prevent an argument. Dorcas huffed and Marlene smirked.

"It was rather a noble thing too as you were wasted as hell at the time," she said almost nastily, before breaking out into a grin as Dorcas' cheeks flushed red.

Emmeline chuckled. "I wasn't talking about _that_ time."

O

"Fuck," Sirius groaned as he slumped back into his chair, giving James a mournful look. "It didn't _work._"

James vainly attempted to keep his amused expression from showing as he stowed the vial of stolen love potion back in his pocket. "Still smells like her, then?"

"Who?" Peter asked, but Sirius ignored him.

Shooting James a scowl Sirius growled, "Yes."

Remus rolled his eyes from behind his book. "Moony, stop being so smug!" Sirius exclaimed throwing the closest object at Remus.

Shrugging, Remus came out from behind The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym. "Well, I can't believe you honestly thought shagging Dorcas Meadows would change the scent of the Amortentia."

Sirius' scowl deepened. "Why wouldn't it!"

"Because," Remus explained as if he was speaking to a small child, "the potion simply causes you to smell scents that attract you. You aren't going to suddenly become attracted to a new scent just because you shagged someone, whether you _love_ them or not. The Amortentia mimics the smells of things you've been attracted to all of your life." He sighed heavily. "Take James for example. He claims to have smelled Lily, but in reality he smelled jasmine, a hint of vanilla–"

"Wait!" James shouted. "How the hell do _you_ know what Lily smells like?"

Remus rolled his eyes, yet again. "Calm down, Prongs. I've been friends with Lily for ages. Plus, scents get rather intense around the moon, you know."

"Oh," James mumbled in relief and Sirius let out a bark of laughter at his expression.

Furrowing his brow Remus returned his gaze to Sirius. "Why exactly did you want to change what the potion smelled like anyway?"

This time James burst into laughter. "Shut up, Prongs," Sirius hissed throwing his alarm clock at James. James quickly dodged it and shoved his fist in his mouth in an attempt to stop his chuckles.

Sirius glanced around the room, fixing each of the boys with a glare. "This doesn't leave this room." Peter gulped. "It smells like McKinnon," he almost whispered.

"Marley!" Remus exclaimed. Sirius' eyes narrowed angrily and Remus lowered his voice. "McKinnon, as in Marlene McKinnon?"

"Yes," Sirius huffed crossing his arms.

Remus fixed him with a warning glare. "Don't you _dare_ do something to hurt her," he almost growled.

"As if I'd do _anything_ to her. McKinnon is a good kid. I don't fuck around with good girls," Sirius muttered heatedly.

Remus didn't appear to be comforted. "I'm not saying you'd do it on _purpose_, Padfoot. I'm just saying she's the type to…" He paused looking for the right word "_Fall_ easily. Don't toy with her."

"I'm not even _attracted_ to her!" Sirius snarled, ignoring the twinge of pain at the thought of Remus thinking him capable of playing with Marlene.

"Like hell you aren't!" Remus shouted. "Just because she isn't your usual leggy blonde doesn't mean you aren't attracted to her. Fuck Sirius, I've seen the way you–"

"Moony!" James yelled over Remus and he fell silent, gazing intently at the carpet.

After a moment of tense silence Remus glanced up at Sirius' fuming face; it was only obvious to the other three in the room that Remus' words had pained him, anyone else would have fallen for the false look of anger. "Look, Padfoot, I didn't mean that. I know you wouldn't…. I just…" He stopped and looked pleadingly up at his friend. "You know how much she means to me. I can't stand the thought of her…"

Sirius sighed heavily. "I know, Moony." He slowly stood and started to leave the room. "If it's any consolation, I couldn't bear the thought of it either," he whispered quietly as he passed Remus and strode from the room.

O

The quiet pitter patter of rain tapped against the cobblestone path that led to Hogsmeade village as Sirius Black hurried after a tiny figure dressed head to toe in purple plaid. "McKinnon!" he shouted wrapping his drenched coat tighter around him as he ran through a puddle in the road, sloshing icy rainwater up the legs of his trousers. "Damn it! McKinnon, wait up!"

"Stupid numbskull, running in the rain, trying to catch her death, dragging me along…" he muttered under his breath as the plaid figure stopped under a tree and turned to gaze at him.

"Black?" Marlene chuckled peering up at him from under her floppy, rainproof hat. It —like her raincoat and galoshes— was a brilliant purple plaid that made Sirius' head spin when she moved too quickly. "What _are_ you doing?"

Outraged, Sirius growled, "What do you mean what am I doing? I told you I was going with you two days ago. Surely you hadn't forgotten."

Pushing the brim of her hat back to see him properly Marlene stared at him almost confusedly. "You're not serious?" she said, stunned.

"Of course, I am. I told you I was coming," Sirius answered moving closer to her as he attempted to get out of the rain.

"Well," Marlene stammered, "it's just— I thought— Two days ago you weren't shagging Dorcas!"

Sirius stared at her blankly. "What does _that_ have to do with anything?"

Marlene threw her hands in the air. "I don't know! Just— how is it going look to Dorcas when _you _come traipsing back into the castle at two in the morning with me."

"Who bloody well cares?" he asked.

Marlene stood in a stunned silence her eyes dancing in a mixture of befuddlement and distain. "I do," she replied softly, frowning at him. "Dorcas is my friend. I wouldn't—"

"I only shagged her once! It's not like it's an ongoing thing," Sirius snarled. "I don't even _like_ her."

"Oh!" Marlene shouted indignantly. "And that is supposed to be comforting?"

A frown wedged between Sirius' dark brows. "Well, it's not like I am going to shag _you._"

"Like I'd let you!" she yelled.

"You already have!" he shouted in return.

"Well, it won't happen again!" she exclaimed before trudging back out into the rain.

Sirius grabbed her arm tugging her back to him. "Where are you—" he cut off as he found himself sprawled out on his back in the mud. His entire body shivered in cold as the icy water soaked through his clothes and an intense ringing flooded his mind as if he was suddenly placed inside a large chiming bell.

"Oh, Merlin, Black. I'm sorry," Marlene's shocked voice filled his ears the moment the ringing stopped.

"What the hell was that?" he groaned as Marlene's face came into focus. She was kneeling beside him staring directly into his eyes, her face contorted with worry and guilt.

"Just a hex I picked up at some point or another," she mumbled embarrassedly as she checked him for injuries.

"That was like," he stopped and placed a hand to his head wincing. Though, the ringing had ceased it left an intense pounding headache in its place. "Merlin, my head."

"Sorry," Marlene said again as she helped him to a sitting position. "Come on. Let's get you out of the rain."

She pulled him to his feet and he groaned holding his head in his hands. "McKinnon," Sirius practically begged, "you've got to make the pounding stop."

"I will. We've just got to get out of the rain first." Sirius didn't attempt to nod he simply followed her as she trudged the few meters into the village before allowing her to Apparate them away.

Gesturing to a small couch Marlene left Sirius alone in a small sitting room. He attempted to glance around at the space, but found it only intensified the pounding in his head, so he slumped down onto the couch and closed his eyes.

Marlene returned shortly with a vial of potion in her hand. "Here, it'll fix your head." Sirius nodded mutely and gulped the potion down.

"What the fuck was that, McKinnon?" he asked as the pounding subsided, gazing up at her through blurry eyes. "And will I ever see straight, again?"

Chuckling, she nodded. "Yeah, just give it a moment."

Sirius growled, "You still haven't answered me."

"It's just a hex," Marlene answered. "I can teach it to you later, if you want. Right now, I've got to run. You can Apparate back to Hogsmeade from here."

He almost fell for it. "Like hell, I can. I told you—"

"Fine!" Marlene shouted ending the argument. She was going to kill Remus Lupin for this. "Clean yourself up, then."

* * *

Endnote:

1) Thank you for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

Danse Russe

Chapter 8

_And sing to me heavenly_

As the world began to come into focus Sirius sat up a bit straighter. "You don't have to yell, McKinnon," he said gruffly running his fingers through his muddy hair. Sighing heavily, he wiped the drying mud onto the leg of his trousers.

Marlene, who had been ignoring him as she pulled off her hat and shrugged out of her raincoat, turned to him and fixed him with a glare. "I'm going to be late, Black. Get off the fucking sofa already."

Rolling his eyes, Sirius stood casting a few cleaning charms to rid himself of the mud and rainwater clinging to him. "Where are we going?" he asked flicking his wand to clean the mud stains from the sofa, his brow furrowing as they refused to budge.

"My brothers' nightclub," Marlene answered shortly dabbing on a bit of lipstick in the mirror.

"Nightclub?" Abandoning his attempt at removing the mud from the patterned sofa and looking at her, Sirius exclaimed, "What the hell are you wearing?"

Marlene blinked before glancing down at her attire, a bit self-consciously. Black kohl rimmed her eyes and her lips were painted a deep red that matched the new bright red streaks of hair spilling down around her chin. Her legs were incased in faded denim that was ripped in several places and tall motorcycle boots. A few safety pins were only holding the snug, long sleeved, black shirt she wore together. "Oh, um, well, it's rather the _style_. It's a muggle place."

When her eyes flicked back to him she sighed. "Fuck, we're going to have to find you something to wear." Sirius' eyes widened slightly the last thing on earth he wanted was to dress in anything similar to Marlene's outfit.

"I suppose something of Mark's will fit. I mean, you're taller than the whole lot of them, but we'll find some tall boots or something…" she rambled to herself as she strolled out of the room.

"Why exactly are we going to a bar? I thought you didn't drink," Sirius asked as he followed her from the room trying not to envision what the male counterpart to Marlene's clothing would be.

"I don't," answered Marlene simply, leading him into a small, clean room. As she shuffled through the wardrobe she tossed several articles out at Sirius. Sirius ducked and dodged, grabbing the clothes out of the sir as they zoomed toward him.

"Marley?" a voice croaked groggily and Sirius jerked around, his grey eyes jetting to the bed behind him where a sleep-drugged man was climbing out from under his pillow, rubbing his eyes. "What the hell are you doing?"

Marlene whipped around clutching a leather boot in her hand. "Mark! I didn't see you." She gave him a bright smile before falling into a rushed explanation. "Remus had a date. Sirius offered to come, so I don't have to walk back to the castle by myself. And, well, it was kind of a last minute thing. We're borrowing some clothes." Throwing the boot at Sirius and perching on the edge of the bed, she wrapped her arms around Mark's neck, in a greeting hug.

"You're what?" Mark asked before running a hand through his hair as she pulled out of his embrace. "They did fucking ask you again, did they? Please, Marlene, tell me they didn't."

Chuckling, Marlene shook her head. "Gotta stick to the rules, Mark. I'm just working the bar. It's no biggie."

"No biggie?" Mark groaned. "You're their fucking little sister and they're turning you into a barmaid." He crawled out of bed. "Go back to school, Marlene. I'll fill in tonight."

Marlene shook her head. "No, you need to sleep. You never sleep anymore. You never have time. This must be your first night off in months. I got it." Sirius stood at the foot of the bed watching the exchange in mild amusement.

"Marley, please don't make me play your father, I hate that," Mark said warningly, his eyes narrowing.

"Mark," Marlene gave an indignant whine. "It's not a big deal. Go back to bed. I'll be out of there by midnight, I promise."

As Mark released an annoyed sigh of "_Marlene_" Sirius smirked. The man was already caving.

"_Mark_," Marlene mimicked his tone shoving him back in the bed. "I'll be fine."

"Fine," Mark huffed crossing his arms. He didn't look nearly as intimidating as Sirius thought he should. Usually a bird's elder brother was someone to be slightly nervous about, but Mark McKinnon seemed practically harmless sprawled out across his bed, tangled in white and red checked sheets.

"Take my bike. I don't want you walking," Mark added as Marlene stood.

"Okay," she replied softly kissing his head. "This is Sirius Black, by the way." As she gestured to Sirius, Mark's teasingly bright eyes turned steely and unforgiving. Sirius resisted the urge to gulp and lifted his chin defiantly. Okay, maybe he was someone to fear.

After a moment of silent contemplation Mark lifted a cool eyebrow in warning. "I have four siblings, Marley is the decided favorite. Don't fuck up."

Before Sirius could answer a pillow smacked into Mark's face. "Save it for the guys I actually sleep with, Mark," Marlene said flippantly rolling her eyes. Mark's lips broke into an embarrassed smile and he mumbled a "sorry, big brother thing" and told her to get a move on.

"Come on," Marlene said giving Sirius' shoulder a slight shove, "you can change in the bathroom."

Sirius nodded and followed Marlene from the room. His stomach knotted in nervousness of what Marlene's group of brothers could do to him as Mark's brown eyes glared at him in warning. His cold expression informing Sirius that it wasn't just a "big brother thing."

--

When Sirius stepped out of the bathroom in a pair of way too snug, faded, black pants, a dark shirt with illegible writing across the front, and a pair of combat boots, he growled, "I look like freak."

"Let you're freak flag fly," Marlene quipped and Sirius scowled. "Look at it this way, leather skidding on asphalt is better than cotton skidding on asphalt."

"What?" Sirius choked out.

Marlene shrugged gesturing to her jacket. "Well, that's why I wear a leather jacket. So if by some weird twist of fate I crash I'll have a bit more protection from the skidding across the road."

"Oh good, my feet will be safe then," Sirius said sarcastically before choking out, "Wait, what are we crashing?"

"Mark's motorbike, of course," she answered simply. "But, I've never crashed before, so you don't need to worry."

"You're driving?"

"Well, yeah."

"Well, isn't this fucking brilliant?" he grumbled moodily. "I look like a freak and I'm going to die."

It was really one insult too many in such a short period of time for Marlene. She was trying so damn hard to ignore his previous actions and just get the night over with, but he just kept egging her on. With a loud huff she whipped around on her heel and stormed out of the room. "You don't have to _come_, Black. In fact, this whole thing was your idea! I don't even want you here," she ranted as her footsteps pounded on the hardwood floor of the room.

As Sirius chased after her, yet again, he seriously began to question his sanity. "McKinnon, wait," he sighed and she stopped in front of the door that lead out into the streets. "Look, okay, I didn't mean to imply that I didn't want to accompany you—"

"Stop pretending like you are doing me some grand favor, Black," Marlene hissed, yanking a jacket of the coat stand by the door. "You _aren't_. I am more than capable of—"

Sirius fought the urge to roll his eyes and stepped around her pushing the door open. "Of taking care of yourself. Yes, I know," he muttered cutting her off as he passed.

Gripping the leather of the jacket in her hands Marlene held back a scream before following him outside and locking the door behind her. "Damn, arrogant, bas—" she cut off and shoved the jacket into Sirius' hands. "Here, it should fit, Matthew's not that much smaller than you," she said angrily.

With a hint of a smirk Sirius shrugged into the coat, following Marlene toward the curb. What was parked there almost made his jaw drop. A gleaming 1973 Ducati 750 SuperSport stood sparkling brightly at Sirius as if it had fallen from heaven just for him. "Holy shit," he exclaimed, "that's your brother's bike?"

Marlene chuckled, her ire fading and his enchantment. There was really something wrong with her. Why on earth couldn't she stay mad at him? "Yeah, it's his baby."

Sirius just nodded still lusting over the bike.

"Helmet?" Marlene said questioningly, nudging Sirius' arm with the helmet.

Again, Sirius just nodded.

"You need to put it on," Marlene explained slowly and Sirius blinked, glancing back down at her.

"Oh, right."

O

As the roar of the engine faded into nothing, but a memory in Sirius' mind he slipped off the rear of the bike, ignoring the sense of regret that settled in his stomach at the loss of Marlene's body pressing against him as they whisked through the heavy traffic as if it did not exist.

"Where are we?" he asked tugging off his helmet and holding it out to Marlene as she placed several wards on the bike. Marlene ignored him for a moment engrossed in her task and Sirius just shrugged, letting his hand fall to his side as he gazed at the rundown warehouse they had parked behind, trying to determine where he was without her help. "McKinnon?" he asked as he felt her take the helmet from him.

"Well, it's rather underground, you know?" she answered. "Come on, I'm already late."

As they stepped inside the dark room Sirius blinked to adjust his eyes to the dim lighting.

"Fuck, Marley, what took you so long?" a dark haired man exclaimed as he pulled Marlene into a hug. "We were beginning to worry."

Marlene shook her head pulling out of his embrace and tugging off her hat. "Got caught in the rain, is all. No need to worry. Everyone else here, already?"

"'Course," the man said taking her hat from her as she slipped out of her coat.

"This is Sirius Black." She nodded to Sirius tossing her coat to the man. "Black, this is Michael, one of the brothers," she said quickly, before turning back to Michael. "Take care of him, alright? I've got to pee."

Michael nodded before stopping abruptly and wrapping an arm around Marlene's waist preventing her from leaving. "Black as in _Black_?" he asked wide-eyed, his face paling and causing his freckles to stand out starkly on his cheeks.

"No, black as in pink." Marlene rolled her eyes, wiggling out of his grasp. Sirius fought down a smile, nobody had ever written off his family like that, except for maybe James.

"I didn't mean–" Michael started, but Marlene cut him off.

"Then, don't say stupid things." She gave and exasperated sigh before running off.

Michael gave Sirius a nervous smile. "Sorry, man, just… my kid, you know?"

Sirius nodded offering his hand. "Yeah, I understand."

"Alright, well the crowd will be he–"

"Mikey!" a voice yelled from behind the bar, cutting him off. "Is Marles here, yet? I swear if she's not here in–"

"Just arrived, Mitch! She's taking a piss," Michael shouted over his shoulder as his double popped up from behind the bar. Turning back to Sirius, he started speaking rapidly again. "As I was saying, the crowd'll be here soon, so I'll give you a quick tour and then you're free to do as you please, as long as your hands stay off my kid." Sirius blinked at him and Michael smiled somberly. "Look, man, I was all for the threat of castration being below the belt, but the day Marlene got breasts, I realized it was nothing of the sort. And the other three agree, so don't try anything."

Sirius raised his hands in defense taking a step back. "Right. I'm just here to make sure she gets back to the castle safely as Remus was busy." If he hadn't been nervous about being stuck with Marlene's brothers before he was definitely nervous now.

Michael nodded gravely. "Good, bloke, Remus." A smile tugged at Sirius' lips at that statement. It was always nice to hear someone liked Moony, whether he knew about his condition or not. "Anyways, the place isn't very big, so this shouldn't take long." Sirius nodded glancing around the large square room, and followed Michael quietly.

The bar took up the majority of the sidewall in a long "L" shape, giving enough room for people to file down the staircase and spill out onto the main floor. A large stage took up the back wall and a rickety, spiraling staircase was shoved into the front corner of the room, just south of the doors. It led up to a gallery that edged three of the walls, which was littered with assorted tables and chairs. The majority of the place was black with bright bursts of color thrown in at random intervals. For instance, the bar was painted with a peeling black paint, but the barstools were various shades of bright yellow, hot pink, and lime green.

Michael patted the bar affectionately as they stopped in front of it. "Best painting job I ever did, right here."

Sirius gave the bar a withering glance as Mitchell chuckled. "Shittiest thing about this place, too."

"As you can basically see," Michael said hopping up onto on of the stools. "The bathrooms are there," he pointed to a two bright red doors at the far left side of the room each with a similar intricate designs painted in black. "Marley says one means 'bitches' and the other means 'pricks' in some ancient language she's studied. Not sure if she's telling the truth, but I like the idea of it." Sirius chuckled slightly. He never would have suspected Marlene McKinnon to do something like that. "Anyways, that's the stage there and then there's some extra seating upstairs."

Sirius nodded the awkwardness of being left alone with two of Marlene brothers beginning to wear on him. He was saved from further torture, however, when Marlene stepped out from behind the dark curtains covering the stage. "Black, how's your head?" she asked as she strode up to the bar before hopping over.

"Your head?" Mitchell repeated before cringing. "What'd you do to deserve _that?_"

"Nothing," Marlene answered before Sirius could speak. "He snuck up on me. I overreacted."

"What exactly _was_ that?" Sirius asked hoping to get the answer this time.

Michael and Mitchell shot Marlene identical evil glares. "Mark taught her that one. He's _always_ teaching her wicked shit like that."

Marlene smiled innocently. "It's all for self-defense. I'm just a wee little thing, after all."

Michael and Mitchell snorted. "Don't play innocent with us Marlene," Michael said and Sirius chuckled.

"We know better and you don't have us nearly as wrapped as you do Mark," Mitchell finished.

"Speaking of Mark. I'm off at midnight," Marlene said with a shrug.

"Why does he always get to play ruler of the universe, it's not fair," Michael whined.

Marlene rolled her eyes. "'Cause he pays the rent."

"Well, it's not like we couldn't—" Mitch started

"—if we wanted to," Michael finished.

"Oi!" a rough voice called from behind the stage curtain. "Are you two wankers coming or what?"

The two McKinnon brothers hopped off their seats. "Yeah, yeah, Jay, calm down," Mitch called. Kissing Marlene's cheek he said, "Hop to it then, little sis, we open in ten."

--

Sirius wasn't sure who was worse, the lead singer, or the guitarist; they seemed to be engaged in a war of who could make the loudest sound and Sirius couldn't decide who was winning. The only good thing about the band happen to be the McKinnon twins, who worked off each other; the driving beat of Michael's bass perfectly meshing with the wild configuration of sound drummed out by Mitchell. They were holding the band together.

However, Sirius had lost on interest in the music and swaying young people on the dance floor ages ago. He was quite entranced with the doe-eyed brunette currently straddling him as he sat at the corner of the bar leaning against the wall, letting her artful mouth tease him to oblivion. When the brunette finished trailing her path of hot kisses down the of his neck Sirius kissed her passionately once more before pulling his lips away and leaning over, pinning her to him with one hand, to grab his bottle of muggle beer and take a large gulp.

The brunette chattered something at him, but Sirius didn't hear as he watched Marlene grin widely, laughing at something one the patrons had said as she slid his drink across the bar to him. She looked like she was flirting with the guy.

Sirius shook his head and snorted. _As if. McKinnon doesn't even know _how_ to flirt_.

The brunette in his lap blinked him as if she was waiting for him to speak. "What?" Sirius intoned.

"Who are looking at?" she asked craning her neck to scan the room behind her for the source of Sirius' distraction.

"You," he answered shortly before nipping at the soft flesh she exposed to him in her search.

"Oh," the brunette murmured before letting him chase the thought from her mind with his artful mouth.

--

The full moon was high in the sky as Sirius and Marlene padded back toward Hogwarts castle.

"So." Marlene yawned widely, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. "Thanks for tagging along. I know spending your Saturday night in the company of muggles and my demented brothers couldn't have been what you wanted to do."

"Au contraire," Sirius said. "I've received six felly phone numbers tonight and if I am correct, I now have six new women begging to be shagged next time I'm bored."

Marlene overlooked his mispronunciation of 'telephone' and gave a mock bow. "I bow down to your prowess, Mr. Black. Six numbers in one night, damn. The most I've ever received is five and I have to chat with every man in the joint."

"Well, not everyone can be blessed with my smashing good looks and charm," Sirius replied haughtily before cracking a grin as Marlene burst into a fit of chuckles.

"You really are just an arrogant bastard, aren't you, Black?" she asked as she straightened.

"But, of course," he answered throwing an arm around her shoulders. Marlene shook her head rolling her eyes and biting down her grin.

"You confuse me, McKinnon," Sirius told her as they trudged along listening to the sounds of Moony's lonesome howls in the distance. Glancing out at the trees Sirius silently hoped Prongs had been smart enough to stay inside the shack until he arrived.

Tiredly leaning against him Marlene yawned. "Hmm, why?"

Sirius shrugged. "Only— what? six hours ago?— you were scolding me for shagging Meadows, and just two seconds ago you were bowing down to my skill. It's a bit contradicting."

"Hmm," Marlene sighed. "Well, to quote Dorcas herself, 'as a female I have the right to change my mind as often as I want.'" After a slight chuckle she continued, "But, to be honest, I could careless about who you shag and why. It's your business. And the girls who end up heartbroken because of you… well, that's their own damn fault."

"Oh, really?" he said teasingly

"Yes, really." Marlene nodded resolutely. "Black, I live with a group of moderately attractive males. Dealing with one-night stands and their after effects are part of my daily life at home. You have no idea how many whiny whores I've tossed out of our flat."

With a sigh Marlene stopped and looked up into his fathomless grey eyes. "Look, Black. You're not only a guy, but you're an attractive guy. A _likeable_ and attractive guy. If I were you, I'd do the same things you do. So, I really can't blame you. And as far as Dorcas goes: if she gets hurt, it's her fault, really. She's smart." Marlene paused and frowned. "Okay, so maybe that's not completely true, but she's not stupid. I just…"

Giving him an uneasy smile Marlene sighed, her gaze almost begging him to understand. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't use me to make sure she knows nothing is going on between the two of you. That's what I was getting at this afternoon. Dorcas and I may not be the best of friends, but I'd really rather not lose the little bit of camaraderie that we have."

"McKinnon, I wouldn't do that," Sirius answered softly, nudging her onward again. Marlene nodded and allowed him to lead her toward the castle once more.

"After Emmy, can you blame me for thinking you might?" she asked quietly as they reached the doors.

Sirius stilled for a long moment his hand on the door and his fathomless, grey eyes gazing unwaveringly at her in the pale moonlight. "I suppose not," he responded gruffly pulling the door open. Marlene nodded once and stepped inside. Sirius moved to follow her inside and Marlene placed a hand on his chest, stopping him.

"Behave, alright?" she said simply gazing up at him with a weak smile. "I need to talk to Remus tomorrow, and I can't do that if you bloody him up too badly."

"He's told you, then?" Sirius asked almost angrily.

Marlene shook her head. "No, I just know you three always go missing on the full moon. So, you must be with him."

"Oh," was his stunned replied.

"Be safe, then," she said softly before disappearing into the depths of the castle. Sirius paused for only a moment and then shook his head and strode toward the Whomping Willow, his hands shoved deeply into his pockets.

* * *

Endnote: 

1) I know, I am not fond of it either.

2) Reviews are lovely, if you've the time.


	9. Chapter 9

Danse Russe

Chapter 9

_Kismet tell me its okay_

"Morning, Remus," Marlene whispered chirpily into Remus Lupin's ear, brushing his messing hair from his eyes.

Remus shook his head turning and burying his face deep into the white pillow. "No, Poppy, no more soup," he groaned tiredly.

Marlene chuckled stealing his pillow and placing it behind her head, leaning back into the chair bedside his bed. "It's not Poppy. No worries."

Peering at her through one eye as if to assure himself that she was telling the truth, Remus rolled over and sighed heavily. "What's up, doc?" he greeted, yawning and stretching his arms above his head.

With a harrumph Marlene placed the pillow in her lap clutching it tightly to her chest and resting her cheek against it. "What are you playing at?" she asked frowning at him.

"What d'you mean?" was his solemn retort.

"Oh, don't play dumb with me, Lupin. You've set your little whoremonger of a friend on me and I want to know why," Marlene answered shortly, giving a brisk nod of her head.

Thin, dry lips quirked up into a smile as Remus sat up, letting the white sheet pool around his hips. Marlene's eyes only hovered over the newly added scar sweeping across his abdomen for a brief second before returning to his soulful gaze. "I have not set Padfoot on you, Marley; he took up the interest on his own. I merely suggested—"

Marlene cut him off. "Merely suggested?" She snorted. "You know those idiots better than you know yourself, Mr. Lupin. Do not give me that shit."

Resignedly, Remus shrugged. "Well, it wasn't my intention to 'set the whoremonger' on you." He rolled his eyes at her words. "I was just making sure you weren't out and about on your own. We're not exactly living in safe times, Marlene."

"Oh," she replied dryly. "It wasn't your _intent_ to have him shove me against a wall and fuck me senseless? Because while it was rather enjoy—"

"He did WHAT?" Remus shouted throwing his blankets to the floor and attempting to jump out of the bed.

Marlene laughed, shoving his shoulder playfully. "I'm just screwing with you, Remus. Relax."

Gulping and falling back onto the bed Remus frowned darkly. "That wasn't funny," he said moodily.

A smirk danced across Marlene's lips. "Yes, it was." Remus growled earning a delightfully chuckle from Marlene.

When he finally caved admitting the humor in the situation he graced her with a hint of a smile, before settling against the headboard and rummaging through the sweets on his bedside table for the chocolate. "So, Marley, what are you here for? Other than attempting to give me a heart attack, of course," he queried, yawning sleepily.

Marlene smiled faintly; her eyes resting on the exposed portion of his calve, studying the thin scars that marred the pale flesh. "I want to know what you know, Remus, because I know you know something." She took a deep breath chewing her lip before bringing her gaze to meet his. "And, I think you knowing… Well, it might make things a bit easier."

Remus gazed at her questioningly his heart pounding in his ears. Was she talking about, what he _thought_ she was talking about?

"I mean," continued Marlene with a begrudging sigh, "it's not like I can really talk to Black about anything. And I just, I think—" She paused frowning at her hands until he slipped one of his into her grasp. "I think talking might do me some good." Rushing to explain further her eyes flicked up to his, panic barely hidden in their depths. "Not that I'm not okay, because, truly, I am. I just…"

As her voice trailed away and her gaze returned to their entwined fingers, Remus leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on her furrowed brow. "You just need for someone else to tell you it's alright." He smiled as she gave him a wary shrug. "A conformation, of sorts."

"Yeah." She nodded. "Yeah."

Inhaling deeply and releasing the air slowly through his nose, Remus tugged on her hand asking her to join him. Marlene chuckled slightly before crawling into bed beside him, leaning against his shoulder, letting the steady beat of his heart ebb away the tension eating at her soul.

"So," she said softly, "I take it you know we've slept together, then?"

Remus nodded curling a strand of her hair around his finger. "I was—" he started hesitantly, trying to place his words well. "After you had—" He paused humming a sigh. "Had informed him of your…" Inhaling sharply he plowed on hoping his word choice would not cause her anymore undue pain. "Miscarriage. Sirius came to get me. He seemed to think I would know how to handle the situation better than him." Smiling faintly, he let the curl he had been twirling absently fall from between his fingers. "You, evidently, felt differently."

"I—" Marlene began, nestling deeper against his chest as if to hide. "I didn't know you were there," she admitted embarrassedly. "Even after the thing on the staircase. I just thought you'd realized I was upset. You do that."

"That I don't doubt," Remus replied delicately. "I'm sure he practically overdosed you. He's never been good at guessing another's weight."

Marlene smiled dimly, closing her eyes. "Have you spoken of it?"

"No," he answered softly, "he has been quite adamant to the fact that it is your business and you will inform those who need know."

"That's kind of him," was her simple response.

Remus laughed softly. "Yes, he is quite noble for a whoremonger." With a faint grin Marlene nodded mutely.

"I suppose, I should tell you the rest, then?" she asked quietly after a long moment of silence. She merely received a shrug of acceptance in return. It was the response she needed and Remus Lupin knew that.

"It was Halloween; James had to put me to bed because I was so out of it. I practically passed out on you."

"You did pass out on me," Remus corrected her the memory of the evening surprisingly vivid. _'Remus, I've… I think I've done something…,'_ her soft swaying voice echoed in his ears as her pale face and glassy eyes danced in front of his face.

"Right," Marlene agreed. "I had been— I snuck out to—" Pausing, she frowned. "Forgive me, everything is fuzzy. I don't really have a clear picture, just moments," she said, her tone tinged with annoyance.

"I hadn't even arrived to Hogsmeade and just _snap_ everything went dark. He must have come up from behind." Shaking her head her frown deepened. "I'm not sure. Anyways, you can fill in what happened I'm sure."

Remus gave a weak sound of acknowledgement. He could clearly imagine what happened despite the fact that he wished otherwise.

"After the Quidditch match I was sure I was going to die," she laughed bitterly. "I didn't realize that it was more than just a lot of bruising until Merlin, I don't even know. Jay took me to the hospital during break. He had come over to see if I had some extra strings —for his guitar, you know— and I was on the couch positive that I wouldn't last the day. It hurt so fucking much and I was bleeding and I just…" Tears had welled in her eyes, so she stopped, taking a deep calming breath as Remus tightened his grip around her shoulders.

"I couldn't really believe it at first, you know. That I was pregnant or not pregnant, really. The whole world just felt like it was collapsing around me. I don't remember what I told Jay, but he didn't ask questions. Just took me home and put me to bed. Maybe they told him." She sighed smiling humorlessly. "If they did and he hasn't said anything, I really should buy him a drink."

As she lapsed into silence Remus took a large breath of air holding it for a moment before saying, "You know, it wasn't —_it isn't_— your fault, Marley. You know that, right?"

Marlene looked up at him with tear-filled eyes, laughing quietly. "I suppose, that's what I need you to confirm."

Remus sighed softly, wrapping his arms tightly around her, holding her closely. "It only gets better from here, Marlene. It only gets better from here."

--

Sirius Black yawned hugely, flicking his hair out of his eyes impatiently and he slowly strode down the corridor toward the kitchens. The great thing about being a Marauder and knowing where the kitchens were hidden was one never had to worry about over sleeping and missing breakfast. It was served all day to those who knew how to tickle a pear.

Abruptly halting as if he ran into an invisible brick wall as he turned the corner, Sirius' eyes widened in shock. Standing not four meters in front of him was his younger brother, slumped haughtily against the wall alongside Severus Snape watching with a sick pleasure as Conroy Avery tormented a young Hufflepuff girl.

The girl was whimpering tears with spilling down her cheeks as Avery whispered only Merlin knew what in her ear. Sirius glowered, his stomach knotting in disgust.

One may begin to think, considering his next actions, Sirius Black was becoming quite the knight in shining armor despite his assertions against the fact. And decidedly, he was correct. He was no knight in shining armor. It was not the hapless Hufflepuff, but the sudden realization of the scum his younger brother had befriended goaded the actions he took.

"Regulus," the name was growled out with such distain all the boys jerked their heads to attention. The frightened girl using Avery's shocked state to scurry away.

Regulus smirked, shoving himself off the wall dismissing the other two with a sharp incline of his chin. Of course, they did not fall out of sight as they would have done had Sirius been in his brother's shoes. They merely leaned against the wall of the corridor, watching the exchange with delighted interest. "_Sirius_," he hissed in return striding forward, "how _are_ you?"

Sirius did his best not to laugh at his brother's attempt to be snide. It wasn't exactly something he was good at. He could and should employ other, _better_ means of striking fear into his adversaries.

As soon as Regulus was within reach Sirius grabbed the collar of his shirt, lifting him off his feet and shoving him into a picture of a bistro, muttering "spirits" as he did so. The two of them slipped through the painting and into a dingy room.

Immediately releasing his brother, Sirius stepped back, brushing his hair from his eyes. "Sorry kid, I didn't want your _little friends_ to hear the conversation," he said lightly a hint of a smile on his lips.

It soon vanished as Regulus' fist collided with his jaw. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" he growled, shoving past Sirius in an attempt to leave the room.

Sirius stood in shock for an inexplicably long moment, his mind reeling. He truly hadn't expected _that_.

Grabbing Regulus by the back of his robes, Sirius slammed him against the wall in a fit of rage. "Me? Who do I think I am? Who do you think _you_ _are_? Do you realize what sort of _scum_ you are spending your time with?"

"Wizards worthy of my time! Unlike you. You surround yourself with _half-breeds, Mudbloods, and blood-traitors_!" Regulus snarled struggling against Sirius' strong hold.

"Worthy!" Sirius shouted. "_Worthy_? Are you demented? Avery is a rapist and a murder! And Snape! Don't even get me started on that bastard and what he has done."

Regulus merely raised an eyebrow. "And you are so much better, brother? Just because you didn't have the balls to do it yourself, and your arrogant little friend saved your ass, doesn't make you any less guilty of the crime."

Reeling back as if slapped Sirius yanked his hands away from his sibling, his hands afire with a mixture of disgust and self-loathing. "You know _nothing_ of that night, Regulus, don't pretend to understand."

"Oh, I understand plenty, brother," sneered Regulus, straightening his collar. "You see, we don't keep secrets from each other. We're _family_." As the word rolled off his tongue Regulus revealed a dark tattoo painted across the surface of his left forearm. Regulus smirked at Sirius' appalled expression. "Maybe you should get yourself one, Sirius. I'm sure mother would welcome you back with open arms if you did."

Snorting, Sirius spat, "As if I want the approval of that _heinous bitch._"

With a scoff Regulus brushed past Sirius, heading for the exit. Just before he left he paused and glanced over his shoulder. "Oh, by the way, is your little Mudblood poppet still selling her services? I have it on good authority that she's quite the pleaser."

It took a moment for Sirius to understand his brother's words and once their meaning did seep into his mind the only thing that kept Regulus alive was the mere fact that he was, despite everything, Sirius' baby brother.

--

An enraged Sirius Black stormed up the boy's staircase, slammed the door to his dormitory open and roared despairingly as he disappeared into what he thought was solitude. He was proven wrong, however, when a frightened squeak followed by a dull thump and quiet curse sounded in response to his actions.

"Get out!" he yelled, jabbing a finger at the door as Marlene McKinnon picked herself up off the floor.

"But I—" she started, gazing at him with confused eyes.

"Out!" he shouted.

Marlene stared at him, unmoving. "Remus—" she cut off noting the blood trickling down his cheek. "You're hurt," she whispered stepping closer to him. Her body shivered involuntarily as she saw the endless agony in his eyes; he looked about to collapse in sadness. "Let me…" She moved to inspect the wound above his eye and he grabbed her arm in a bruising grip.

As she gasped sharply at the pain he growled, "Get out, McKinnon."

Fighting down the whimper that desperately wished to escape her lips, Marlene shook her head. "No."

Sirius seemed caught in a moment of desperate contemplation and suddenly arriving at a decision, he cruelly jerked her arm, pulling her flush against him and crashed his lips on her in a brutal, bruising kiss. Marlene screamed, though the sound of it was lost, as he shoved her back against the wall. His hands were like fire, burning every inch of her they touched; his mouth cruel and unforgiving, and she wasn't sure if the blood on her tongue was his or hers.

As quickly as he started it, he stopped, shoving her away from him and toward the door before he went to far. "Out, McKinnon," he panted, "Get out, before I hurt you."

Again, Marlene shook her head. She wasn't quite sure why. It was complete idiocy, ludicrous, but for some reason, as insane as it may be, she refused to flee. "Then, hurt me," she replied defiantly.

Momentarily stunned, Sirius stood still in shock and Marlene took the opportunity to give herself the upper hand.

If it hadn't been for his shocked state, Marlene doubted she could have moved him at all. As it was, she refused to let her moment of advantage go to waste. She shoved him, hard; both hands on his chest forcefully pushing him backwards until his back slammed against the wall. He winced and she smirked. He deserved it, for it to hurt. She knew the only reason her own spine wasn't protesting because of how roughly he'd shoved her against the same wall was the adrenalin pumping through her veins.

Her height definitely wasn't going to help her in this matter and not for the first time in her life Marlene found herself cursing her lack of stature. Standing up on her toes, she fisted his dark hair in her hands and yanked his head down, melding their lips together, showing him she could be just as demanding, just as brutal.

Sirius' shock didn't last much longer and Marlene quickly found the tables turned on her. He pressed her against the windowpane the sharp edge of its latch digging painfully into her back and her feet were no longer able to touch the floor. Tugging at his hair, she dragged her lips away from his and she sank her teeth into his neck until the coppery taste of blood danced on her tongue. As he groaned she pushed herself off the window with one hand while the other remained tangled in his hair.

Slumping to the side, Sirius grumbled, "That hurt," as he slid one arm under her thigh, hoisting her up.

"I know," Marlene breathed before catching his lips again.

They continued their battle of wills and tongues until they managed to fight their way onto someone's bed. Sirius scraped his teeth across the tender flesh of Marlene's neck eliciting, much to his delight, little hums of pleasure from her lips as he pinned her to the bed with little effort.

"Wait, wait," she gasped, "Who's bed is this?" Sirius grunted his disinterest in the question and silenced her with another bruising kiss as his fingers fumbled with the opening of her dress.

After a few moments of failed attempts to remove any of Marlene's clothing Sirius pulled away from her. "How the _fuck_ do you get this thing off?" he growled impatiently.

Marlene huffed, having already achieved her mission in rendering him shirtless and gave him a sharp shove as she sat up. "You _unbutton_ it," she retorted moving to undo the long path of large buttons that trailed from her left shoulder to her hip. Sirius only watched momentarily before deciding that waiting for all those buttons to be undone was something he was unwilling do. He pushed her back onto the bed fisting the two halves of the material in his hands and yanking it apart, sending buttons flying into every corner of the round room. A fiery kiss cut off her indignant response.

His actions and attentions lost none of their ferocity as he moved onto the newly exposed territory. He started with tiny nibbles, which quickly lead to sharp nips that all but broke her delicate skin followed by tender kisses to chase the pain away. Marlene clawed at him, begging him to stop or not stop; she wasn't sure, as her head span with the mixture of pain versus pleasure, and agony versus bliss.

Admix all of it, they managed to divest the other of any articles of clothing still lingering and it was with a suddenly sort of gasp of realization Sirius found himself, driven up to the hilt, inside of her.

"_Oh, fuck_," Marlene's voice cried through her loud hum of acceptance as her body tightened around him, forcing her to cling to him digging her nails in his skin as the intensity of it swelled around her.

As he began move within her, his thrusts just as powerful and angry as all his other affections had been, Marlene took her opening. Hooking a leg around his for leverage, she flipped their joined bodies in one swift movement. Sirius gazed up at her, his grey eyes wide with shock and she quirked an eyebrow. "Wrestling," she answered his unspoken question with a cheeky grin. "Matt's a big fan."

Moving his hands to her hips, he lifted her up; eliciting a harsh shudder from her as he forcefully pulled her back down. "Get on with it, then," he growled, gripping her so tightly angry red welts appeared on skin.

Her nails dug into him as she moved, her heavy breaths mingling with his as they both fought to prove something, though neither knew what.

It was with a guttural groan Sirius filled her with his seed and a whimpering "hmm" Marlene collapsed atop him, both panting heavily as they clung to the fleeting memory of their orgasm.

Sirius recovered first gently removing her from his chest as she moaned in protest. He fumbled around for his wand and upon finding it, quickly rid the entire room of any evidence of their escapade. Unless of course, you counted the two of them lying, naked, together in his bed.

"Are you on any sort of birth control, McKinnon?" he asked immediately regretting the words as they left his mouth. That was _definitely_ not the way to go about that.

Marlene frowned. "Way to kill the afterglow, Black." She rolled her eyes, laughing a little. "Of course, I am. I have been ever since I realized you can get pregnant without having sex." Sirius snorted. relieved she hadn't taken offense. He could have easily wounded her with those words and he knew it.

"So, what had your knickers in such a twist?" she asked, tugging the blankets over her. "It's freaking cold in here," she informed him as she snuggled down into the blankets.

Sirius sighed heavily. "Aren't you to tired to have this conversation?" he responded, crawling under the blankets with her and curling his body around hers, yawning into her hair.

"Quite," she answered shortly, "but if I wait, I'll forget."

"Mm," he mumbled, breathing in her scent for what he just knew would be the last time. Preparing for the worst he said tonelessly, "My brother's a Death Eater."

"Oh," was the shocked reply.

* * *

Endnotes: 

1) Finally, some sex. -grins cheekily-

2) I apologize for the cliff hanger. I think that's two already in this story. Wow. Usually, I don't do that.

3) Review because you love me?


	10. Chapter 10

Danse Russe

Chapter 10

_Quietly while you sleep_

"Oh." That's all she had to say.

"Oh." Like the answer to everything could be found in that one simple little word. Was it even a _real_ word? Sirius didn't know.

"Oh." Just "oh" and she kissed the palm of his hand before drifting into peaceful slumber. What did it mean? "Oh?"

Sirius propped himself up on an elbow and gazed down at her while she slept. Her right arm curled under her head, the left bent to meet his, their fingers intertwined. "Oh," he whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear. There was a path of little hickeys down the side of her neck, leading to a ring of teeth marks already turning into a deep bruise. Finger shaped bruises marred the soft flesh of her arm and her perfect little lips —the lips he was so fond of— were bloodied. His red and gold quilt covered the rest of her and Sirius found himself thankful whatever else he had done to her was hidden from view.

"Oh." It meant he was a stupid bloody bastard. But he had known that, hadn't he?

A sob caught in his throat. Of course, he had known that. It was why he was running, why he tried to scare her away. '_The stupid little bitch_,' he thought angrily. He had told her to leave. She didn't listen and look at what he'd done. It was just as he suspected. He was nothing more than a Black hiding out in Gryffindor. He was no better than his mother, his father, or his brother. He was just like them. And Marlene, little innocent Marlene proved it. She had just been trying to help and look at what he'd done to her.

She was bruised, broken and sullied with him. He had hurt her, bruised her, raped her. Hadn't he?

'_Then, hurt me,_' her voice sang in his mind. And damn it all, she had placed herself in that position to help him because she trusted him. She didn't think him capable. '_But I am!' _he wanted to shout.

He might as well be branded, belong to someone else. He surely wasn't a Marauder anymore. Marauders didn't _do_ things the things he'd done. Marauders didn't curse their brothers until their voice broke. Marauders didn't beat the shit out of his fellow students. Marauders didn't take advantage of girls like Marlene. And Marauders surely didn't leave a girl with more bruises than he could count. Sirius Black couldn't be a Marauder. He was just like all the other filthy scum the Black family had produced. Just like them.

Tears trailed down his cheeks and he rubbed them fiercely away, vainly attempting to keep his shoulders from shuddering as he cried. He couldn't bear it if he stole anymore of the precious few hours of sleep Marlene did manage to get in a day. He couldn't bear the reaction she'd have when she realized she'd fallen asleep in his bed. In a _pureblood_ _elitist_ _scum's_ bed. In a future Death Eater's bed.

A sob broke through his lips and she stirred at the sound.

Sirius froze for a fraction of a moment, before hurriedly ridding his cheeks of tears. He didn't want her to see him cry, but she did.

"Black?" she said sleepily. "You're not sleeping." Marlene sat up blurrily rubbing her eyes, blinking him into focus. "What's wrong?" she asked cupping his cheek in her hand. Sirius choked back another sob. It was bruised too. "Black, I…" She paused.

Pressing her lips to his forehead she guided him down to the pillows. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I didn't think…" Letting her voice trail away she picked up his wand.

Sirius closed his eyes as she pointed it at him. She was going to kill him; she was going to end it right then and there. He released a shuddering breath. No one would know of his betrayal. No one would remember him as the fallen Marauder.

A pleasant tingling sensation buzzed above his left brow as Marlene's voice hovered quietly above him. Confusedly, he opened his eyes. "What are you doing?" he asked, bewildered.

Smiling amusedly, Marlene replied, "Patching you up, of course. You've done quite a number on your hands."

His expression remained confused as she continued her treatment, the sheet hastily wrapped around her slipping farther down each time she moved.

"But why?" he breathed. "I…"

"Oh?" she queried cheekily. "You going to do it yourself?"

Sirius blinked. He hadn't planned on it.

"Though not," said Marlene softly.

"McKinnon, I'm sorry," he stated firmly, though his voice quavered.

Marlene chuckled. "Whatever for? And I thought you didn't apologize."

He pushed himself up catching her chin in his hand, tilting her head to him. Staring into her eyes —'_kaleidoscope eyes_,' he thought— he searched for everything he thought he knew. He didn't find any of it.

"What?" she asked confusedly. "What's the matter, you—"

He kissed her _so_ gently. Their lips meeting once, twice, three times, just tiny little kisses. "You don't— I mean— my brother is a Death Eater."

"Yeah?" she smiled awkwardly. "You said that." He stared at her blankly and she shrugged. "I really don't know what you want me to say, Black." Taking his hand in hers, she kissed his palm again. "I'm sorry. It must be difficult and I understand you're upset, but it's his choice, you can't change that."

"Difficult?" he asked. Difficult to convert, hell yes, it was. He had even hoped for his death.

"Yes," she explained softly, "to be on one side, while someone you love is on another. Merlin, Black, you're going to train to be an Auror. You'll be fighting against him. I couldn't imagine what's going on in your mind right now. I wouldn't want to."

"Oh," he breathed.

Staring at him, Marlene's brow furrowed. "You thought— Oh, god, Black, I'd never think that. Ever," she told him sincerely. "You're too… too you."

"But I…" He paused tucking her hair behind her ears, letting his hands smooth down the sides of her neck. "Look what I've done to you."

"I asked for it," she answered simply.

His eyes fell closed and he shook his head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"That it hurt?" she asked. "I did." Tracing a bite mark on his shoulder with a finger she smiled. "I like this one, it's okay that I leave it?"

Nodding despondently, he murmured, "Let me take care of you then," removing his wand from her hand and tugging the sheet from around her.

"That the trade off?" she teased.

"Mm," was his only response as he gently pushed her back down onto the bed. Each bruise and mark that he healed, he placed a tender kiss over showering her with soft affection until her body was left unmarred and freckled as ever.

As he placed a lingering kiss at the pulse point on her neck, her fingers weaved through his hair. "Black, you don't—" Her words cut off into a hum as he sucked softly at the delicate skin.

"I like that one," he said huskily as he pulled away, "Can I leave it?" Marlene blushed, nodding once. Sirius slowly progressed to more arousing affections, smoothing her skin with his hands, lightly tasting her when he felt the urge to do so.

Suddenly, she made a little sound that was not a melodious hum of enjoyment and he looked to her face. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted and she made the tiny noise again. Sirius chuckled.

It was the first time in his life a girl had fallen asleep on him. "Oh, McKinnon," he said with humor, "you do confound me."

--

"I thought you weren't going to hurt her?" accused Remus Lupin as he prodded Sirius awake with a finger.

Sirius blinked up into soulful eyes. "Shit," he cursed.

"You're damn right, it's shit." Remus' eyes flicked to the naked, sleeping girl cuddled up with her head on Sirius' chest.

Glancing about nervously, Sirius placed a hand over Marlene's ear as if it would keep her from waking. "Moony, listen, it's not like that."

"Not like what, Padfoot? Marley doesn't have casual sex. What the fuck are you thinking?" hissed Remus, his eyes glowering.

"Can we talk about this later?" Sirius asked desperately. "I don't want to wake her."

Remus raised an eyebrow angrily. "You mean you don't want her to find out you're just using her."

"I told you it wasn't like that," growled Sirius.

Snorting, Remus shook his head. "When she wakes, you better have a damn good reason, Padfoot."

Sirius nodded solemnly. Merlin, what was he going to tell Remus? He'd fucked his friend because he was upset?

"You've marked her, by the way," Remus said coldly. Sirius resisted the urge to strangle him on the spot and settled for a quick bob of his head.

As silently as he appeared, Remus was gone.

--

Marlene yawned and stretched sighing contentedly as she draped an arm across Sirius' chest.

"Finally awake, are we?" teased Sirius, placing his book on the floor. "Six hours in the middle of the afternoon. You do realize I'm going to be up all night because of this?"

"Sorry," she replied with a shy smile. "Was it really six hours? Straight?"

"Mmhmm," answered Sirius, watching her sit up and wrapping the sheet tightly around her.

"Mm," she intoned. "It's been ages since I've slept that long." Grinning, she yawned. "We should fuck more often."

Sirius chuckled. "Oh, we should, should we?"

Wrinkling her nose and shrugging, Marlene coyly said, "Fine, you can't shag me whenever you want."

Sitting up Sirius gazed at her inquisitively. "What are you saying, McKinnon? Is this an offer to be my fuck-buddy?" he asked lightly.

Marlene blushed, her coquettish act falling. "Well, I… Yes."

Sirius laughed kissing her forehead. "Moony would murder me."

"I wasn't planning on telling him," said Marlene waspishly. "I just…" her voice trailed off and Sirius stared amusedly at her. "I like shagging… you… and I just… I don't know." Shaking her head she gazed down at her crossed legs. "I don't want any sort of relationship, but having sex every now and then… and I know you're clean… I mean, I…"

"Clean?" chuckled Sirius. "Merlin, McKinnon, you're killing me."

She glanced up at him. "Okay. I just… I like this." Shrugging, she scratched her head. "But, it's cool. You're right, with Remus and Benjy, —Merlin I forgot all about Benjy— it wouldn't work." With a sudden burst of laughter she said, "God, like you'd even want a fuck-buddy —especially me— you can sleep with whomever you want, whenever you want. I'm being ridiculous…" She continued to ramble until Sirius cut her off with a kiss.

"Merlin, McKinnon, you talk too much," he informed her. "I'd _fucking_ love to fuck you anytime."

Marlene laughed blushing again. "It's just fucking though," she clarified. "And I mean, you can still screw whomever, just not when I want to screw you. Right?"

"Right," agreed Sirius biting down his chuckles. "McKinnon, you should be baffled more often."

Blushing, she sighed. "Now that I've made a complete fool of myself, I think I'll go."

"Alright," he laughed watching her stumble on the sheet as she tried to climb out of the bed.

She paused by the door glancing down at herself. "Uh, clothes? Where are my clothes?" she asked, turning back to him.

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. Yes, he was quite fond of an embarrassed and befuddle Marlene McKinnon.

--

The moon shined high in the night sky as Sirius paced the small balcony of the North Tower, occasionally sipping at the flask in his pocket. The conversation he was about to have was going to be anything but pleasant.

Remus Lupin slowly strode out into the moonlight watching his friend pace nervously. "Can I have some of that?" he asked gesturing to the flask in Sirius' hand. Sirius nodded tossing it to him.

"So," sighed Sirius, shoving his hands into his pockets and glancing out over the grounds. "McKinnon and I slept together. Again." He said resolutely, "I don't regret it."

Exhaling slowly Remus rested his elbows on the stone railing, peering down into the darkness. "You said you wouldn't."

"I know," replied Sirius. "And, I meant it at the time. But, Moony…" He paused taking a sip from his flask. "Regulus is a Death Eater."

Remus' eyes went wide and turned his shocked gaze to Sirius. "What? Why didn't you tell us?"

"I was going to," answered Sirius. "But, I got scared. I thought you'd reject me. I probably would have."

"Sirius…" murmured Remus quietly.

Sirius shrugged. "I know it was stupid now. I just… I came in from finding out and she was there. Waiting for you I expect." Fixing his gaze on the trees he sighed. "She wouldn't leave, so I thought I'd scare her a bit. The next thing I know she's kissing me… I don't know, Moony. I was so pissed. She was so real."

"You were upset, she was there, so you screwed her," Remus stated, detached. "Merlin, Sirius, do you realize how much of a prick you are?"

Chuckling dryly, Sirius replied, "Yeah."

"And she? She knows that it was just…?" his voice trailed off.

"Yeah," Sirius whispered.

"You're an asshole," Remus growled.

"I know."

--

"So," James Potter said slowly, "Moony said you spoke with Regulus. I'm getting information second hand, that's not cool." Sirius chuckled letting his legs flop to the floor so James could take a seat in the chair opposite him.

James threw himself in the chair like an indignant child as Sirius found a new comfortable position. "I just hadn't found the time to let you in on the dirty little secret, Prongs. You spend every waking moment with Evans."

James grinned. "Hell yes, I do." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"So," James prodded, "what happened?"

Shrugging, Sirius mumbled, "I pissed him off."

"Mmhmm," intoned James resisting the urge to ruffle his hair as Lily strolled into the common room.

"You're not paying attention to me," accused Sirius and James' head whipped back to his friend.

"Yes, I am!" he shouted.

Sirius laughed. "Uh huh."

James frowned, but Lily met his eye and it quickly turned upside down. "Jeeze…" moaned Sirius.

"Sorry, you were saying?" James asked after flashing Lily a wink.

"James, pay attention, all right," Sirius ordered. "It's important." James eyes focused on Sirius, his attention immediately redirected at the use of his first name. He completely missed Lily blowing a kiss in his direction. Sirius smiled grimly. "Regulus is a Death Eater." As the words left Sirius' lips James paled.

"There's more," added Sirius before James had a chance to speak. "He said something about having it on good authority that 'my little Mudblood poppet was quite the pleaser.'" Sighing heavily, Sirius gazed up into James eyes. "I think he was talking about McKinnon, he was with Avery, but… Snape was there too."

James gaped at him. "Lily?" he asked.

"Dunno," answered Sirius. "Just, keep your eyes open, alright?"

"Yeah," James murmured, "yeah."

* * *

Endnotes:

1) Big thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, you guys are awesome. Thank you for reading as well.


	11. Chapter 11

Danse Russe

Chapter 11

_Whispering the sweetest things_

Marlene McKinnon was sorely beginning to regret her hasty decision to give Sirius Black permission to jump her whenever he pleased. Not because the sex wasn't good, it was great, but she was starting to wonder it she had the ability to keep up with him _and_ he was shagging other girls as well, or so Marlene thought. She had obviously underestimated the libido of your average 18-year-old male, not that Sirius was average in any way.

N.E.W.Ts were less than a week away and she hadn't studied for more than two hours straight without being ambushed by Sirius in three weeks, until today. She had dedicated most of her sleepless nights to catching up on studying, but she doubted there was enough caffeine in the world to keep her going without sleep, being stressed beyond imagination, and shagging Sirius every time she turned a corner. Surely, he needed to study too. Marlene snorted at the thought; Sirius Black didn't study for anything.

Sighing heavily, she gingerly eased her bag onto her shoulder. Her entire body was stiff and sore from bending over pages of notes and old tomes for hours on end. Wiping her nose with her violet hanky, she sniffled and started toward the exit of the library. Tottering down the hall in a sleepy daze, she yawned widely.

Sirius Black grinned as Marlene sleepily exited the library. It had taken her long enough. He'd been waiting outside the door since early that afternoon when Madam Pince kicked him out. Sure, he could have found any other number of girls to sedate his raging teenage libido, but why work for someone new when Marlene would say yes without question. And, of course, though Sirius would never admit it, sex with Marlene was better than sex with his usual bimbo. Sirius Black _really_ liked shagging Marlene McKinnon.

As she strolled passed him, sneezing into her hanky, Sirius wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into an alcove. "It's me," he whispered hurriedly. He didn't want to end up at the wrong side of yet _another_ of her hexes because he frightened her.

Marlene dropped her head forward onto Sirius' chest as he pinned her to the wall. "Black, I can't," she said faintly. "I'm tired and I have another seven pages of notes to look—"

Tilting her face up toward him with a finger, Sirius smiled taking in her red nose and tired eyes. "You're getting a cold," he interjected softly, brushing her hair from her eyes.

"No," argued Marlene, shaking her head. "Dust."

With a quiet chuckle, Sirius pressed his lips to her forehead. He had just opened his mouth to speak when a familiar voice flooded his ears. Holding a finger to his lips, he shushed her, gently guiding her further into the alcove. Obscuring her from view within the shadows, he turned his back to her. "Stay," he muttered darkly, his heart rate quickening as the voices drifted closer.

Her warm breath seeped through the fabric of his shirt washing across his spine as she carefully placed her hands on his back, leaning forward to peek around him. "Out of sight, McKinnon," hissed Sirius through clenched teeth, and Marlene nodded quickly, resting her cheek between his shoulder blades so he could feel her response. He reached behind him, hurriedly giving her hand a small squeeze. "It's alright," he whispered and then he was spotted.

"Sirius!" a falsely cheerful voice exclaimed. Sirius scowled darkly.

"Regulus," he growled in greeting, desperately trying to keep himself from taking another step back to press Marlene farther into the shadows.

Regulus grinned, nodding toward his companion. "Avery and I were just discussing your little poppet."

Sirius bit down his snarl. "I'm afraid I haven't a clue of what you're on about, _little brother_," he replied darkly, stressing the family connection without real reason to do so.

"Of course, you do," chuckled Regulus. "You and I spoke of her just last month." Tapping his chin in an act of remembering, he asked, "What's her name?"

"McKinnon?" offered Avery silkily.

"Ah, that's it. Marlene McKinnon," said Regulus with a malicious grin. Sirius felt Marlene tremble behind him and his heart rate picked up again. He growled. It was bad enough that they felt the need to rub his failure to save his brother from the dark side of things in his face, but scaring Marlene was really pushing the envelope.

Marlene pressed her lips to his back, silently telling him not to fret and Sirius took a step back, slumping against the wall and pushing Marlene into the corner. She anticipated his move and easily fell back until her tense shoulders touched the two edges of the wall. Curling her fingers in his shirt to steady her balance, she kissed him again, thanking him for the calming pressure of his body against hers.

"What about her?" asked Sirius in polite interest. "I wasn't aware Gryffindor muggle-borns held any intrigue for you, Reg."

Laughing, Avery slapped Regulus on the back. "Well, I've already given her a go, and the youngest Black didn't believe me when I told him about the wonders she can work with that delightful little mouth of hers." Sirius felt Marlene choke back a silent sob behind him and he ran a careless hand through his hair, brushing his elbow against her shoulder as he placed it back down at his side, hoping the brief contact would be comforting.

"But, you know all about that, don't you, Black?" continued Avery with a smirk. "She quite the little—"

"Fuck off, Avery," snarled Sirius.

"Tight as hell too, isn't she?" asked Avery. "Like a fucking virgin." Marlene's grip tightened on Sirius' shirt and Sirius drew his wand. "I'm not quite sure she wasn't the fir—"

Avery slammed against the far wall, several bones cracking with a sickening crunch. "I said to fuck off, Avery," hissed Sirius.

"Touched a nerve, eh, big brother?" Regulus queried, smirking widely.

Sirius lifted his chin haughtily. "You best go tend to your friend, Reg, before you find yourself unable."

Regulus paused for a moment, fixing Sirius with a contemplative look. Sirius merely narrowed his eyes into a steely glower and Regulus whipped around on his heel.

When Regulus' back was turned and he busied himself with Avery, Sirius slipped his hand behind him, resting it on Marlene's hip. "Shush, baby. They'll be gone in a moment," he whispered quietly.

It was a long while before Regulus and Avery vanished from the darken corridor, when they finally did Sirius carefully wrapped Marlene in his arms, pressing soft kisses to her hair. "I'm sorry, baby. I should have gotten rid of them sooner. I'm so sorry," he crooned, rubbing her back in slow, smooth circles, slightly amazed at how easily the words rolled off his tongue.

Marlene stood in his embrace for a long moment before shaking her head and easing out of his arms. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't get so upset," she told him quietly, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "I mean, really, it's stupid…"

"Hey," said Sirius softly, "It's okay."

Marlene nodded, stepping around him and running her fingers through her messy hair. "I'm just going to go… take a bath, I think."

"Alright." Sirius gave her a smile, wrapping his arm around her tiny shoulders. "I'll walk you up, okay?"

"Yeah," agreed Marlene, her eyes focus on the floor. "That'd be…" Her faint voice was lost in the sound of their footsteps, but Sirius didn't mind. She didn't want to talk and he didn't know what to say, the silence was welcomed wholeheartedly.

--

Sirius watched Marlene place a chaste kiss on Remus' cheek before disappearing out of the Gryffindor common room. He smiled. A nice long soak in the prefect's bath would do her some good after tonight's episode in the hall and all the pressure she'd put on herself for N.E.W.Ts. As Regulus' brown eyes swam before his face, Sirius thoughtfully rubbed his chin. He should at least keep an eye out to make sure Marlene and he didn't cross paths.

"Hey, Prongs!" he called over the hubbub of the common room and James' dark hair popped up from behind a couch.

"Kinda busy, Padfoot," shouted James in response as slender fingers weaved into his hair, pulling him back down.

Sirius chuckled. "I just want the map."

"Wormy!" was James' muffled reply as Lily succeeded in bringing his mouth back down to her. Sirius sighed. He'd just have to follow her then.

She was exhausted, that much was obvious as Sirius followed her down the hall. Large yawns were traded in for her regular breathing cycle and she kept rubbing her shoulders and neck as if they ached. She stopped outside the fourth door to the left of the statue of Boris the Bewildered and pressed her forehead against it. "Scrubbing bubbles," she yawned.

Sirius watched her enter and waited for the bolt to click. When it did, he turned to leave. He'd only gone a few steps before turning back around and pressing his ear to the door. When he heard her slip into the water, he whispered, "Alohomoa," tapping his wand to the wood. It opened silently.

Marlene was floating in the hot water of the giant marble bath, one hand grasping the edge with her head resting on her arm to keep her ears out of the water, white frothy bubbles obscuring her body from view. "Hey," breathed Sirius and she chuckled.

"Come to join me?" she asked, closing her eyes.

"Something like that," answered Sirius, removing his tie and stepping out of his shoes. He undressed quickly and slipped into the water beside her. She didn't stir.

Trailing his hand across her stomach and up between her breasts, he moved to cup her head in his hand and pressed his lips to hers softly. Her grip slackened on the edge of the bath and her toes searched for the floor some five feet below her. Sirius chuckled against her lips sliding his hand teasingly up her side and to her arm before guiding it around his neck as she struggled for footing.

Their bodies, both slick with bubbles and water, slid against each other like silk as Marlene held herself up by hooking her arms around his neck. "You're so short, McKinnon," whispered Sirius into her ear as he placed a path of tiny kisses on her skin.

Marlene rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes as he peppered her neck with kisses. "No, don't sleep," pleaded Sirius as he nibbled at her earlobe. "Let's get rid of your knots first. You're tense as hell." Marlene moaned her disagreement, but Sirius ignored it.

Slowly he guided her to the swallow end of the bath. "Sit," he demanded playfully.

Marlene looked up at him with pouting lips and pleading eyes as she sat cross-legged on the pool floor, the water reaching just below her shoulders. "Can't we just shag and go to bed?"

"No, come on, McKinnon. You need this," he told her firmly, sitting behind her. He slid his hand up her arms, kissing the nape of her neck. Gently, he squeezed the tense flesh of her shoulders in his large hands and she gasped out. "See?" he mumbled into her hair. "You're all tied up in knots, _relax_."

Softly, moving his fingers in little circles he worked his way down her neck and between her shoulder blades, slowly working out the knots he came across, whispering, "Breathe, baby," into her ear huskily, every time she started to tense. When he was sure he had coaxed all the painfully tightened knots of muscle to relax, he turned to kneading her shoulders and she moaned softly despite her attempts not to. Sirius refused to release the instinctual possessive groan at her pleased verbal encouragements and focused his thoughts on smoothing her flesh.

As he finished, Marlene slumped back against his chest and Sirius pressed his cheek to her damp hair. "Better?" he whispered gently moving her so she sat beside him, leaning up against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her as he leaned against the edge of the bath.

Her only response was a hum and Sirius took it for a yes. "Good," he said, tenderly stroking her stomach. He slid his hand up and cupped her breast, tracing small designs with his thumb. Marlene hummed again as the pad of his thumb traveled across her erect nipple. Sirius smiled and moved his other hand to her thigh, draping her leg over his.

"Black," she breathed, reaching up and grasping his neck. "You don't—"

"Shush," he hushed her, moving his hand to her knee and he drew a small design there. Nudging her legs apart his slid a finger into her folds and stroked once. Marlene gasped, her grasp on his neck tightening. "Shush," he whispered into her hair. Moving to her other breast, he paid it the same delicate affections, stroking her every so often, shushing her when she moaned.

She was panting through tears as she gasped, "Please."

Sirius found himself unable to deny her and slipped a finger inside her. Her body arched and her nails dug into him as she gave a loud "hmm."

"Shush," crooned Sirius, holding her to him as he brought her closer to her climax. Her body jerked and writhed as he deliberately held an excruciatingly slow pace.

"I want you, Black," cried Marlene as felt it building within her. "I want you."

He hushed her again. "No, baby, just shush." Adding another finger, he slowed his pace further.

It became a battle of wills as she refused to let herself come without him and he refused to give her what she wanted. Sirius felt his resolve wavering as she begged for him again. "Please, Black," she cried, "please."

Shaking his head, he placed his lips to her ear. "Marlene," he demanded hoarsely and she stopped fighting, "come for me." With a great breath of air, her body arced magnificently and Sirius placed a calming kiss on her neck as her head came to rest on his shoulder.

As she slowly came back down Sirius stroked her stomach, breathing raggedly in her ear. "Good?" he asked.

"Oh, god," was her choked answer.

"I'll take that as a yes."

--

"It was Frank Longbottom," said Marlene quietly as she sat up and wrapped a white sheet around her shoulders. Yawning widely, she gazed down upon the picturesque image of an unclothed Sirius Black stretched out across piles of white linen, the soft glow of the candle lit chandelier of the prefect's bath painting his beautiful form in an iridescent light.

He quirked a dark eyebrow and Marlene suppressed the urge to think he appeared to be a Greek god when he did that. Haughty, proud, beautiful.

"The first person I ever slept with," she clarified.

Shaking his head, he took two fistfuls of her sheet and tugged her down to him. "You don't have to tell me that," he informed her before melding their lips together.

She shrugged. "I know." Pausing, she bit her lip. "I just, didn't want you to think that Avery was…"

"So, Frank Longbottom?" interjected Sirius lightly. "Didn't he graduate four years ago? Merlin, you were _fourteen_?" His eyes widened with shock at the realization.

"No," laughed Marlene. "No. He was one of Mark's trainees. It was last summer."

Oddly, Sirius released a sigh of relief. "Oh."

She snuggled into his chest and yawned again. "We should head upstairs, to bed."

Sirius shook his head. "No, you'll just study. Go to sleep, McKinnon." He felt her smile against his skin.

"Why do you call me baby when I'm upset? Or when we're…" she asked as he toyed with one of her curls.

"I said to go to sleep," was his answer.

"Bla—"

He interjected, "Why don't you call me Sirius? Ever?"

Marlene paused before shrugging. "I don't know. We were never that close… I mean, before we started fucking." He laughed loudly and kissed the top of her head.

"Maybe if you start calling me Sirius, I'll start calling you Marlene instead of baby."

Biting her lip, she lifted her head. "So, you feel awkward calling me McKinnon when I'm upset and we're shagging, so you call me baby?" Tilting her head to the side, she queried, "Do you call other girls baby?"

"No, McKinnon," he murmured, "just you." Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he forced her head down. "Now, go to sleep," he ordered.

She obeyed, curling up beside him and yawning once more. Sirius chuckled quietly. "Silly girl."

* * *

Endnotes:

1) So, not much really happens in this chapter. It's mostly just to show the passage of time, that N.E.W.Ts have arrived and they'll be leaving school soon. Plus, it gave me an excuse to write some smut. I haven't had much of a chance to do that since Dear Harry wrapped up.

2) Yes, Sirius has become protective as hell over Marley, though he hasn't realized it, yet. What will happen when he does? Well, you'll just have to wait and see. (I feel oh so powerful right now.)

3) Do you think he was lying when her told her she was the only one he called baby?

4) I've started my first ever Draco Malfoy fanfic. Go me! Check it out if you'd like.

5) Thanks for reading! Review if you have the time, please.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's note: So, we've made a big time-leap. It's been about seven month's since the gang left Hogwarts. Sirius has been in Auror training, with Mad-Eye Moody as his mentor. Marlene has been out-of-country. James and Lily are moving into together (more on that in the next chapter) Remus is struggling to make ends meet and wee little Peter is fat, happy, and still living with his mother. (You'll get most of the Marlene/Sirius stuff this chapter, everyone else next chapter. I just wanted to give you a heads up.)

* * *

Danse Russe

Chapter 12

_She reminds me_

The dingy old pub smelled of mold and dust, and the scent attacked Sirius Black's nose as he stepped inside. He sneezed.

A hand slapped him roughly on the back and a gruff voice growled. "Buck up, Black. You'll be spending a lot of time here." Sirius nodded, lifting his gaze to the scarred, twisted smile of Mad-Eye Moody.

"Of course, sir," he answered, his grey his flickering about the dark muggle pub for enemies or attack. It would be like Moody to take him to an abandoned bar to test him on something under the pretense of getting drinks after a hard day at the Ministry.

Sirius bit back a groan, he really didn't think he could deal with some sort of test for his training tonight. It had been a hard day, six muggle schoolchildren caught admix a Death Eater-Auror battle. His cousin Bella had no qualms about using them to her advantage either.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Sirius bit back the bile rising in his chest at the memory of one of the children they had failed to save. Swallowing, he forced his thoughts back onto the pub, how many exits where there, patrons, was there a gun behind the bar?

"Relax, you numbskull, this isn't a test. Just my favorite joint. You deserve a drink after today," said Moody gruffly as he slumped onto a stool at the bar. Sirius nodded everyone of his senses in overdrive as he glanced around the near empty pub and he perched on a stool.

Mad-Eye rang a tiny desk bell a few times and arched a twisted brow as a tiny barmaid stumbled out from the back room, yawning and stretching her arms above her head. Sirius' heart stopped beating.

--

"_You're leaving?" asked Sirius in more than mild shock as he stared down at the barely conscious Marlene in his bed. She yawned widely, nodding into her pillow. "B-but why?"_

_Tiredly, she chuckled and rolled over exposing her little breasts and running a hand through her mass of tangled curls. "Well, Black, the institute is in Greece, and really it only makes sense for it to be there. All the hands on training you—"_

"_What about this? Us?" he questioned, furrowing his brow. She was leaving him for _Ancient Runes

"_What about us?" repeated Marlene laughingly. "We just have sex, Black. I'm sure you can manage to find another fuck buddy. Plus, you're probably tired of me already."_

_Sirius smiled indifferently. "Yeah," he agreed, lying back down beside her. _

--

"W-what can I getcha?" the barmaid yawned as she tossed her apron over her head. She slowly turned around and grinned sleepily at Mad-Eye. "Ah, some of Caradoc's whiskey, right Mad-Eye?" she queried, leaning over the bar and pecking his cheek.

Moody grimaced, his scarred face twisting into something nearly unrecognizable. "I've told you not to do that, McKinnon. The patrons will think something's afoot!" he barked, slamming his fist down on the bar.

The barmaid laughed. "Mad-Eye, I treat all my regulars this way. You're reaction is more likely to get a response than my affection for you," she told him cheekily. Turning from Moody's scowl, her hazel eyes landed on his handsome companion, staring directly at her.

"A-and for your devilish friend?" she stuttered.

--

_Marlene panted heavily, her head thrown back and her body arced off the scarlet train compartment wall. She wasn't sure how she had ended up there — being fucked against the wall of some random train compartment, by none other than Sirius Black — She had been so sure after his cold demeanor the night of her confession to leaving the country for awhile that things were over. It had been so close to the end of the year anyway. And now, school was over and he was fucking her on their way home. Merlin, it was brilliant. Confusing as hell, but brilliant._

_She stuttered over his name as she came, burying her face into his neck and clutching fistfuls of hair and shirt in her hands. In that moment, she wished she could stay with him forever, but she knew better. Sirius Black didn't settle down. _

_He stopped suddenly as she almost reached her climax again, and he desperately fought off his own. "No," she begged, afraid he would leave her like this, wanting him so desperately, needing him like she needed air. "Please no." _

"_Shush," he hushed her, taking her small hand in his, he pressed his lips to her wrist, feeling her blood race in her veins. She shifted and he released a guttural groan, gripping her hips to stay her, he shook his head. "No. Listen." _

_Tears pooled in her eyes in need of him and he gently kissed them away, each tiny movement making them both tremble. He slipped a bangle onto her wrist, the cool metal against her hot flesh making her shiver. "It's a goodbye present," he informed her, before softly demanding, "Don't forget me," in her ear. _

"_Never," she whispered, shaking her head as her tears fell down her cheeks again. _

"_Good," he murmured before he began moving within her again. _

--

"Jack and coke," Sirius answered coolly and Marlene gave a curt nod. "I didn't know you were back," he said as she turned from him.

Her curls bobbed as she nodded. "Yeah," replied Marlene. "I've only been back for a few weeks though. Haven't even found a place yet." Smiling at him as she placed the drinks on the countertop, she shrugged and brushed her hair out of her eyes. A glint of silver caught Sirius' eye and the grey orbs watched, entranced, as the bangle on Marlene's wrist slipped lower. "The owner's been really nice, let's me sleep in the back."

"You're not staying at home?" asked Sirius and Marlene blushed.

"No." She shook her head. "They don't know I'm in London." Giving him a half smile, she traded an odd glance with Moody. "I'd like to keep it that way, if you don't mind."

Sirius nodded, confused. "Sure," he responded before taking a sip of his drink.

"Anyway," she said softly. "It's nice to see you again. Ring if you need anything."

As she moved to leave, Moody grabbed her arm and tugged her to him. Marlene released a sharp cry, but quickly clamped her lips shut and Moody started to speak in a hoarse whisper. "Clear the place. I've got news."

Sirius forced down his initial reaction to squash anyone who dared touch Marlene roughly and firmly gripped Moody's wrist in his hand. "You're bruising her," he growled and both Moody's eyes, one black and beady, the other blue and large, glared at him.

"Watch yourself, Black," muttered Moody, shoving his wand under Sirius' ribcage. Sirius glowered at him, but released his arm. Moody turned back to Marlene, his grip loosening a fraction. "The whole gang."

Marlene nodded once and strode from the room, refusing to so much as glance at her arm until the door closed behind her.

--

It was a matter of moments before the entire pub, and its four patrons, was cleared out and rearranged. The square tables lined up to resemble one long table, chairs encircling it and scattered around the fireplace in the back. Marlene was standing behind the bar, mixing a cornucopia of drinks, coffee, and tea, and laying out biscuits and crisps.

"Merlin, I love it when Marley's the one on deck. She always feeds us," a loud voice rang throughout the room as a tall red-haired man entered the room, followed by a strikingly similar companion.

"We should have recruited her ages ago," his companion agreed just as loudly as they dug into the snacks. "So, what's this about?" he asked, draping an arm around Marlene's shoulders.

"New recruit, I believe Fabian, but you can never be sure with Mad-Eye." She shrugged and flashed Sirius a wink. "Could've brought Mr. Black here so we could practice the new hex he's got us all learning on him, before he kills him."

The two redheads took the bait. "Yeah…" Fabian let his voice trail off before glancing up at the other man gravely. "Least this one's not as nasty as that stinging hex we used on the last one, right Gideon?"

"Don't know," replied Gideon darkly. "This one's awfully bloody…"

"Knock it off, you dolts," a large blonde woman muttered whacking Fabian upside the head as she dropped her heavy bag on the bar. "We need all the help we can get, don't go scaring of potential newbies."

"Ah, Jules, we aren't scaring him. Relax, it's all good fun," retorted Gideon, pouting slightly. Jules whacked him upside the head as well. "Ow…" he whined and Marlene laughed, laying her head on his shoulder. Gideon stuck his tongue out at Fabian and smirked before pressing a kiss to Marlene's hair.

Sirius watched with a dull anger boiling in his chest, before chiding himself. He had already over-reacted once on account of Marlene, he really didn't need to do it again. "So, what exactly am I being recruited for?"

The blonde woman burst out into laughter. "Stupid dunderhead," she chortled, "didn't even tell the kid what's going on."

Moody cleared his throat behind her and Marlene stifled her laugher behind her hand, as Fabian and Gideon stuffed their fists in their mouths in an identical fashion, snickering quietly. Sirius just smiled indifferently, taking in Marlene's appearance under hooded lashes.

She looked happy, he thought. Tired, judging by the dark rings visible under her eyes, and her wide yawns. She was thinner than he remembered, she had always been slight, but he thought she was verging on sickly. Her cheeks sunken in a bit, and her collarbone just a little too visible. Her hair was shorter too, now hanging in loose little curls above her ears. However, her eyes sparkled with a happiness he only spotted on a few occasions during their last months of school.

She caught him staring at her as Moody reprimanded the large blonde-haired woman and she smiled at him. He couldn't help but smile back.

--

Sirius was in mild shock, his mind reeling over what he had just heard. An underground group of witches and wizards, gathered by Albus Dumbledore, fighting against Voldemort, and they wanted him to join. Him? A Black?

Marlene grinned at him from across the room, tucking a stay curl behind her ear and his mind stopped reeling.

'Well, why not?' he thought. Marlene liked him. Moody liked him. Well, he tolerated him, which was saying something, really. The Marauder's loved him. And Lily, who spent most of her life despising him, had begun to like him just a tiny bit recently. He was top of his class at the Auror Academy. The only first year to have a mentor and allowed in battles and on crime scenes. He was loyal to fault. And deathly handsome. Why wouldn't this Order of the Phoenix want him in their ranks?

"We'll give you some time to think abut it, Mr. Black," said Albus Dumbledore, almost gravely as he stood.

Sirius shook his head. "No, professor," he stated firmly. "No, I don't need anytime to think. I'll do it. I _want _to be part of this, more than anything."

Mad-Eye Moody grinned. "Told you, Albus. He's a good kid. Bit rash, but that's to be respected." Sirius inwardly beamed at the praise.

"But, uh," he faltered this time, and ran his hand through his silky black hair. "I've friends, who'd kill me for not letting them in on the game."

Albus Dumbledore smiled. "Trustworthy friends?"

"The best there ever were."

--

"So," sighed Sirius as he nursed a glass of whiskey, watching Marlene sleepily sip at her cup of tea. "How long have you been a part of this?" he asked, tilting his chin toward the group of Order members still lingering in the pub.

Yawning, Marlene shook her hair from her eyes. "About three weeks. Dumbledore needed something translated. Babbling suggested me, because she didn't have the time." She chuckled. "I'm sure I wasn't the first on the list, but eventually he settled for me, anyway."

Sirius tugged on one of her curls. "You were supposed to let me know when you got back."

She blushed, smiling embarrassedly. "Oh, come on, as if you even missed me."

"But, I did," he answered with a smirk. "You've know idea how much." Marlene laughed, but the sound of it was lost in a yawn.

"Damn, McKinnon, how long as it been since you slept? You've been yawning all night."

Marlene glanced at the large clock behind the bar. "Uh… working on hour 42."

"What?" he gasped in disbelieve.

Shrugging, Marlene replied, "Shit happens. I've been translating through the nights and sleeping during the day, to stay out of the way. Anyways, emergency removal from headquarters yesterday, been setting up everything here — Caradoc's pub ­— 'til we find something new. Haven't caught a wink yet."

Sirius nodded. "'Suppose you haven't eaten either, by the ravenous way the Prewett brothers devoured your crisps?"

"Nope," laughed Marlene, "unless you count one of Moody's pepper-up chocolates."

Smiling, Sirius stood, holding out his hand. "Well, come stay with me tonight. There's a Chinese place 'round the corner from my flat. We'll have dinner and catch up."

Marlene paused for a moment before slipping her hand into his. "Alright," she agreed softly, allowing him to guide her from the room.

* * *

Endnotes:

1) Okay, did the time-leap bother anyone? I tried writing the leaving ceremony, but it wouldn't come out right, so I thought a few little flashbacks would be better. (My first time writing a flashback too… how'd it go?)

2) Sort of a first date coming up. Awkward, yes?

3) Thanks for reading (and reviewing). You guys rock.

4) By the way, I might possibly be starting a new job in a week or so. (Still up in the air. It all depends on if my drug test comes on clean. LOL.) So, I'm not sure what the updating schedule is going to look like, but I'll let you know. Hopefully, it works out to where I can still update at least once every two weeks.


	13. Chapter 13

Danse Russe

Chapter 13

_Come on over_

Marlene inwardly groaned at her own actions as she found herself bundled up in not only her hat, scarf, and coat, but in Sirius coat as well, not to mention being tucked away under his arm, as they made their way down a small city street toward the 'Chinese place 'round the corner' from Sirius' flat. She fervently cursed herself for falling back into her old bad habit so easily as Sirius tightened his grip around her shoulders, steering her around an icy patch of ground and she accidentally inhaled just a bit too much of his scent, her cheek brushing against the soft fabric of his jumper.

"Damn, McKinnon, you're still shivering. It's not even snowing, anymore," chuckled Sirius as he rubbed her arm. Marlene smiled softly, laughing lightly along with him, letting him believe it was the cold and not memories of him that made her tremble.

Shrugging, she said, "Well, I've only been back a few weeks, haven't adjusted to the cold weather yet."

"Good thing you have me to keep you warm, then," replied Sirius jokingly and Marlene forced a smile.

_Dear Merlin,_ she thought,_ what in the hell was I thinking._ She had been over him, or at least that's what she told herself. Sleep came so easily the entire time she was gone, panic didn't overtake her anymore, she didn't wish that he were beside her while she dreamed. She didn't need him, not even a little bit. And now? Now, she felt her entire body craving him, her courage melting away. She felt sheltered, safe with him so close and panicked at the thought of leaving his side, of leaving that safety.

She was dragged from her thoughts as Sirius announced, "Here we are," tugging the door to a quaint little restaurant open and ushering her in.

The place was obviously one of Sirius' haunts as everyone seemed to know him, or maybe it was just hard to forget such a handsome face. As Sirius introduced her to a pretty server, Marlene's mind swirled. Was this some sort of date? _No,_ she assured herself, _we are simply old friends, catching up over dinner._

As she moved to shrug out of her layers of outerwear, Sirius' warm breath danced across her cheek. "Let me help," he murmured into her ear. His hands seemed to linger or maybe she was just hyperaware to his touch, his presence. He pressed a kiss behind her ear and Marlene suppressed a shiver. _I am not going to fall into this again!_ She mentally shouted,_ I am not going to become dependant on him. I'm fine on my own!_

The first two months of her time in Greece had not been the easiest time in Marlene's life. In fact, she might even write it down as similar to two months in hell. Nightmares raged in her mind every night, homesickness dwelled in her stomach, and haunting images flashed before her eyes at the most awkward of times. Then, suddenly every thing was fine, she slept, she ate, she started having fun again. She was quite fine on her own. More than fine. And now, Sirius Black's mere presence was threatening to shatter it.

Shrinking away from him slightly, she slipped into her chair. "So, how's Remus? He hasn't owled me recently," she asked, desperately trying to put an end to her weakness.

Sirius appeared unaffected by her reaction and dropped to the seat across from her. "Oh, well enough, I suppose," was his answer. "You know Moony; he grins and bears it."

"Fucking bastards," sighed Marlene.

"Couldn't agree more, McKinnon," said Sirius with a shrug. "But, there's not much anyone can do about it. Believe me, if there was, we'd of done it by now." If Marlene hadn't understood Sirius' relationship with Remus so well, she would have been upset with this response. However, as it was, his distress over the situation was apparent to her with just the soft flicker of emotion that passed through his grey eyes.

Marlene failed to suppress a yawn and Sirius laughed softly. "Are you gunna fall asleep on me?"

"No," she replied with a smile. "It smells too good and I'm too hungry." He grinned at her.

Her sleepy expression aroused memories of her stretched out beside him, her breasts exposed, a series of love bites trailing down her neck and his eyes hungrily traced the skin where his marks once lay. He found no mark of possession, no hint of him on her body. He didn't like that.

"What?" asked Marlene as she chewed on her bottom lip, her hazel eyes staring warily at him.

Sirius shrugged, pulling his gaze to meet hers. "I just didn't realize how much I missed seeing you." Her cheeks flushed crimson and her eyes jetted to her hands, folded neatly atop the green table. She watched in a state of stunned panic as his large hand gently covered her small ones. "I like it when you blush, McKinnon," he murmured and she attempted to tug her hands from him.

"What are we doing?" she asked shakily, glancing up at him as he drew impossibly light figures on the inside of her left wrist. "Because I can't—"

"Can't what? Have dinner with me?" he questioned laughingly. "Come on, McKinnon. We're not doing anything wrong. You need a place to sleep; I have a spare room. You're hungry, and I didn't want to eat alone. It's not a big deal."

Swallowing hard, she bit her lip. "I don't want this to become anything more…" Her voice trailed off, and she paused cursing herself for what she knew she would say. She just could not say no to him, not completely. She wanted him, not all of him just… enough. "Than it was back in school. There's too much going on for anything—"

"Don't worry, McKinnon. I know," he responded, quashing down the hint of anger at her reaction to him. Since when didn't a girl want him? They all wanted him, didn't they?

"It's just, this was starting, so," she rambled out, the words spilling off her tongue frantically, "differently, than last time and…" Taking a deep breath, she met his eyes. "Oh fuck, I'm sorry. You must think I'm completely daft."

"McKinnon," said Sirius softly, "relax, huh? You're going to stress me out."

"Right," sighed Marlene, "right." Gazing up at him with a furrowed brow, she apologized. "I'm sorry, I'm thinking too much."

Sirius laughed, tossing a straw wrapper at her, before dropping the straw into his drink. "Well, stop it." She smiled faintly up at him as he grinned over his drink.

"I missed you, too," she admitted and he slid his fingers further up her wrist, toying gently with the cool silver bangle on her arm.

"I noticed."

--

Marlene McKinnon slept peacefully under the soft, gray sheets of Sirius Black's bed, her dark curls spilling around her pale, freckled face, one hand curled under her cheek, the other laced with Sirius'. He sat beside her, leaning up against the dark oak headboard, watching her sleep as he twirled a curl around his finger.

He didn't get it. She wasn't pretty; she wasn't smart; she wasn't special. She was nothing that he was. He was gorgeous; he was brilliant; he was a _Marauder_. He shouldn't want her. He shouldn't. But, there was something about her… he wasn't sure what… Maybe that was it, his inability to place what it was that attracted him to her. But, he wanted her. Always. Even if it didn't make sense.

His eyes closed as she turned in her sleep, a hum escaping her parted lips. She nestled her head in his lap and he bit back a groan the sensation it caused, clenching his fingers in her hair. Her breath seeped through the fabric of the sheet, and Sirius paused momentarily, his desire telling him to let her stay there. Trailing his fingers across her cheek, he murmured her name. Her eyes fluttered as she stirred and he whispered, "McKinnon," once more.

"Hmm?" she mumbled burying her face in his lap. Sirius hissed, his eyes widening.

"McKinnon!" he said a bit more forcefully than he intended and she jerked awake staring at him wide-eyed.

"Wha?" she asked, barley lifting her head and glancing up at him, panic clearly written in her eyes as they frantically jetted around the room for some unknown signal.

Cupping her cheek in his hand, he shook his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you," he said softly, watching her fear ebb away. Her eyes closed and she leaned into his caress.

"No," she murmured. "Just, your tone. I thought there was an attack or something."

It took a moment for the gears in Sirius' head to click into place and he didn't manage to hide his shock as he stuttered, "You're responding to attacks?"

Sleepily, Marlene nodded, moving to lie back down. Sirius ignored his anger and astonishment at her nod, distracted by her movement. Catching her chin in his hand, he smiled. "Uh, that would be why I was just a bit…unnerved?" Marlene glance downward at her "pillow" and blushed crimson.

"Sorry," she mumbled, shying away from him, her cheeks fiery red.

Sirius laughed cockily. "Oh, no. Don't apologize. I mean, you can stay there if you like…" His voice trailed off as she raised an eyebrow, tilting her head mischievously.

"Oh, I can, can I?" teased Marlene, her fingers tickling his side as she leaned over his chest, placing a chaste kiss on his chin. Her breath washed across his throat as she straddled him, whispering, "Because, I would very much like to stay." The heat of her overwhelmed him as she carefully balanced on her knees above him, tasting him, teasing him, tickling him.

When he felt he could no longer take her teasing, he placed one hand on her hip, curled the fingers of the other in her hair, and he attempted to join them as he so desperately desired. "No," she whispered against his skin, raising up and placing a tantalizing kiss on his lips. "No, let me."

Sirius skin broke out into gooseflesh at her words. She always submitted to him, gave him what he wanted, and she was telling him no. He wasn't sure if he liked it. At his hesitation, she stroked the length of him with the tips of her fingers, the feel of her own hand brushing against her core as she searched for him making her shiver. Sirius was positive it was her shiver, not his own, that won him over. "Please," she begged, her lips brushing against the shell of his ear. "I want to." He nodded, agreeing to anything as the sound of her pleading sent delightful tingles throughout his body.

She placed hot kisses down his body, guiding him from his sitting position until he lay on his back beneath her. Caressing his face, she smiled at him, gazing solemnly into his eyes, the entirety of her world sparkling in their depths. Sirius wished he understood what their sparkling meant, the stories they told. He wished he knew her, more than just her secrets.

Kneeling between his legs, she trailed her fingers up the inside of his thigh, dancing around him before taking him in her small hand. Holding his gaze, she tasted him, gently applying pressure above his pelvic bone with her free hand to stay him. Whispering unheard words, her breath tempting him before she turned to tiny licks and tickles with her lips. Her fingers gently teasing him all the while.

"You're a tease," Sirius rasped out hoarsely, his resolve to submit to her wavering as she continued to slowly torture him to bliss. Marlene laughed softly as he grasped her wrist in his hand and she shook her head, pulling her hand from him before taking him fully into her mouth.

It was a sudden shock for him, he had been too busy trying to convince himself that stopping her was the right decision. There was a reason they hadn't done this before. He had begun to wonder if that was the cause of her slow teasing. Maybe she was afraid of his reaction if she stopped, but too frightened to go through with it. Maybe she needed him to halt her, to give her an escape.

His fingers curled and twisted in her hair as she brought him closer to his climax, his mind and body at odds with each other. He knew _couldn't_ press her into more than she was willing, but he wanted control of it. He wanted to hold her head in his hands and make her do as he pleased. Fear gripped him as he realized he wasn't going to be able to stop himself from hurting her.

He bucked his hips against her, holding her in place and her nails dug into him, the brief pain immediately halting his demanding actions. She continued to pleasure him, sending him little reminders of who had control when his stubborn like for dominance got in the way until he stopped trying to control her.

As he neared climax he uttered her name and she let him take control, spilling his seed into her mouth with exploding force. She swallowed slowly, letting the taste of him linger on her tongue as his fingers uncurled from her hair. She crawled up beside him as he gathered himself. "You taste good," she informed him lightly. "Salty."

Sirius lay there, for a moment, beside her as she nestled her head on his shoulder. "Fuck, McKinnon," he panted, sitting up and tugging her to his chest. "Fuck," he sighed, kissing her lips, her chin, her brows, her throat. "Fuck… You… Fuck…"

Marlene chuckled, burying her hands in his hair. "Yes, you could do that now." He laughed and she added, "please?"

"Oh, don't worry, baby," he murmured, nipping at her earlobe teasingly. "You'll get yours."

--

Endnotes:

1) I rewrote the end of this chapter, as I hadn't noticed what a huge wrench allowing James and Lily in on the relationship was going to throw into my plot in my haste to get this chapter up. I apologize for making you have to reread it, and extremely long wait between updates... not that you actually got a real update. Sorry.

2) Review if you'd like.


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